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Thread: Dealing with a negative significant other

  1. #1

    Dealing with a negative significant other

    I’ve been with my girlfriend for a little over a year now,

    She’s a great person overall and has a good heart, and I love her.

    The problem however, is that she’s very negative and it is really draining sometimes. We don’t live together and I can’t imagine how it might become if we ever move in together or have kids one day.

    I’m the opposite as I consider my self more of an optimist. I don’t stress over little things, and try to see the positive side in everything. A lot of the things she complains about are issues I would consider minor inconveniences. Sometimes something as simple as missing her morning bus is enough to have her say something like “wow I can’t wait for this bad day to end!”.

    I often try to make her snap out of her negativity sometimes, but it feels like she just wants to vent and shoots back with a negative reply to any of my positive twists. I feel like she just is addicted to that negative mindset and doesn’t want me to interfere.

    I have talked to her about trying therapy, for this and for other issues (anxiety, low self esteem etc.). She realizes that she has issues she needs to work on and has agreed to try it. She has an appointment coming up soon.

    What would you do in my situation? I do love her and she is a good girlfriend overall. However, her negativity makes it very hard and stressful at times. I feel like this relationship is not only a big source of happiness but also stress. I really hope it can work in the longterm but sometimes I have doubts. I’m happy she's gonna try therapy but I also wonder how much that can help.

    Any advice? Has anyone been in a similar situation, on either side?

  2. #2

    Re: Dealing with a negative significant other

    Personally i would suggest drinking a bottle of wine with her - not because i love drinking, i do - but because detached mind answers detached mind in such as way the miraculous is obvious. The restorative properties of red wine, to the nervous system are profound... hence the addicted. You and she would be fine doing it once or two.

  3. #3
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    Re: Dealing with a negative significant other

    I think you've done it, if she is going to try therapy. Let us know how it goes.
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  4. #4

    Re: Dealing with a negative significant other

    Quote Originally Posted by olyris View Post
    Personally i would suggest drinking a bottle of wine with her - not because i love drinking, i do - but because detached mind answers detached mind in such as way the miraculous is obvious. The restorative properties of red wine, to the nervous system are profound... hence the addicted. You and she would be fine doing it once or two.
    This collector of useless clutter.

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