Lack of Motivation? and Was this anything?

[Tom]

Daily life and its routines and interacting with people build up their own momentum. When you sit down to meditate the first thing that will happen is that you will begin to relax and let go of that momentum. It will unwind and all sorts of thoughts and emotions will surface. The momentum will try to carry you back into the routine and away from your meditation. You can sit back mentally and let it unwind without being carried away by it and the effort involved in doing this will build up a momentum of its own that can affect your daily routine the way your daily routine affects your meditation. It is not apathy or lack of motivation. The problem is that the motivation is divided by momentum in two directions.

It must be nice to be sensitive enough to feel it when people are reading your posts. I've gone to the opposite extreme of shutting everything out and am now trying to find a middle ground from the other direction. I know that both extremes are not good, and it would be nice just to blend our tendencies so we all land in the middle with a perfectly balanced awareness.

[Christian]

Lack of moltivation has never been a problem for me because I had to do it to survive. I was so stressed out that I got mentally ill. I started to meditate. It worked and I continued to do it because I saw it as my way to get well. Today I'm well and have been meditating daily for four years.

The thing is I never get bored of my daily meditations. It's so interesting exploring consciousness and it's endless it seems. And my daily meditations is also a way for me to recharge.

orbit1: That's true for me too. Reading about a subject can really motivate you and give you new ideas and inspiration.

[Tom]

In one of Osho's books, I forgot the title, he said that Yoga begins when you must change or die. Until then you can study, meditate, spend hours at a time doing postures and breathing exercises, and anything else you want ... but it is not Yoga.

[Pilar]

It must be nice to be sensitive enough to feel it when people are reading your posts. I've gone to the opposite extreme of shutting everything out and am now trying to find a middle ground from the other direction. I know that both extremes are not good, and it would be nice just to blend our tendencies so we all land in the middle with a perfectly balanced awareness.

Whew. That is the goal, isn't it? It sounds wonderful. On my own path, I found that I was doing quite well retaining stability until I went through a severe awakening event about two years ago. I'm not completely clear on what happened there. I suspect it is related to kundalini, but is definitely not a full kundalini awakening. Possibly the lowest level! ha! But it caused a complete and total breakdown of the self as I knew it and destabilized me to the point that my life literally fell apart and I had to go into retreat to take care of myself. It has taken me about 2 years to recover to a place of stability.

When the event first occurred, there was no seperation at all between the information coming into me from outside. I literally could not tell who I was. I had 'no self'. But this was not a blissful Buddhic event It was all I could do to function. I had to re-build a sense of self that allowed me to interact with the outer world completely from scratch, and spent time in Buddhist monastery when I was at my worst.

Now, I am able to go into the city and be around people in very small doses, but I am easily exhausted and would like very much to be able to come to a place where I can just "shut it off" and "turn it on" at will! Being able to tell when someone is reading my posts isn't too bad, but bringing a stranger's emotions into my own home through a forum is more than I want to have to deal with! This level of sensitivity makes it difficult to interact with the world out-there much

During that time, I found that routine was my life-line. The monastery was rigid but it gave me a structure to hold onto. Now I find that self-discipline through my various practices--martial arts, yoga, meditation, journalling, work, eating, etc--these routines are a blessing that can be relied upon when internal emotional or mental states become destabilizing.

...My long-winded commentary on routine

[Mithril Dragoness]

Yes, my motivation did actually come back when I had went to reading about meditation again...for one small moment, I had some willpower, and I began to read some more...reading is good :)

I want to thank everyone for the info...it has helped me a lot, and helped my motivational porblem as well (the main reason of the post!) and I am glad that it makes a good topic for all to relate to.

Can't thank all of you enough!
I'll be on and about more frequently...whenever I have the proper time.