When your mind starts telling you to give in, whose voice is it? Try to place it - it can be a clue as to when & where the original experience was.
You seem to be getting held back by your past & CFT is right - you have to find & face the original situation - while it was locked away because of pain, you are now adult & the pain is something you can now deal with.
when you find the original incident the meory will flood back & seem to vanish - it hasn't, it's just been relegated to normal memory where it can't influence your abilities any more.
Have courage & look as good as you can - you'll find it. If it doesn't resolve, you don't have the original - there will be something earlier.
All the best.
Never doubt there is Truth, just doubt that you have it!
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