Originally Posted by
ileo75
what i think journeyman161 wanted to say with this is exactly what he wrote, not necessarily saying that by wishing the happinness of the other to affect negatively your own.
I see it like this:
I love a man and want him to be happy. I really will be extremely happy to make him and see him happy and of course by being able to do so i am at the same time filling myself with happiness for being able to fill him with happiness. Obviously if his hapinness would come in some way in detriment of my own, then it is not fair on his behalf towards me, in case he becomes aware of this. Then obviously he is not loving me.
If he is not aware that my will and actions for his happinnes destroy my own, then it is an obsession on my side. No healthy thinking person would continuosly sacrifice their happiness in detriment of themselves i think.
We are talking about LOVE between two humans, so each will be happy to see the other happy, but not damaging themselves because of this.
What she said... *grins*
I don't know if you can love someone else without at least starting the journey towards loving yourself. For me, 50 passed with relationships that I knew almost from the start would end shortly. For most of those 50 years I didn't think much of myself.
Then I accepted the rest of my life I would be alone & probably wind up being one of those old guys up the street whose house the kids avoid because 'he's creepy' (joke) & set my mind to never finding the soul mate I had looked for for so long. I never married because I wanted it to be forever & I knew that was available if only I could meet her.
Only when I started to look to myself, to realise I wasn't such a bad guy after all, could I really give in to my life's purpose which was to help others. In reaching out to do so, I found Love & through trial & joy, we've come together & found happiness with each other.
I don't think I could have claimed my place in her life without at least liking myself a bit. Sort of - I have to be worthy of her. Yes I know she has faults & is human & we've already had times to battle through to be together, but if I still disliked myself I would have found a way to sabotage it all to make sure I didn't get anything good in my life.
If I make her happy, it makes me happy & vice versa. If that ever changes on either side, I think we're both aware enough as beings that we'd feel it.
Never doubt there is Truth, just doubt that you have it!
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