Originally Posted by
Benares
My awakening was spontaneous in the fact that I was niether meditating nor doing energy work.
I had the same experience. I didn't even know what kundalini was until recently, and looking back I can see and am sure now that it was a spontaneous kundalini awakening.
I may have been indirectly meditating, that is, I may have been doing it without realising it was meditation. I've always had the ability to dissociate easily and to alter my consciousness, and I've practiced contemplative prayer for many, many years, without even knowing what it was.
That being said, the awakening of kundalini was ultimately beneficial for me but it nearly killed me at the time. My ego was highly fragmented (grew up in the sort of family that does that to you ), and basically the kundalini awakening ended up shattering my ego completely. In the long run, this was a good thing, as I rebuilt and restructured and healed a tremendous amount of pain, anxiety, and trauma, but it took several years and was horrifically painful. I ended up in the psych ward once and twice landed in a psychiatric halfway house (a sort of group centre where you could stay and get yourself together with the help of full time staff) during that period.
I can still raise kundalini more or less at will, and it's not painful at all now. It definitely has the aspect of direct connection with the Divine Consciousness (i.e., God in whatever form you experience God), and I'm grateful that I underwent these tremendous changes, but I would agree that awakening kundalini is quite perilous if you're not prepared for it.
I kind of wish that I'd known what was happening to me and how to better deal with it, but there was just nobody around who had a clue. They all thought I was just plain crazy, and I thought so too, but given the fact that all the changes wrought were very positive and the fact that I'm no longer on ANY psychiatric medicine nor do I require any sort of psychiatric care now, I'd say I wasn't actually insane, but rather in spiritual crisis, so to speak. But on the other hand, I got through it with very little real help, and it certainly made me a better person and gave me an understanding of my own strength and power.
Some part of me always knew that I was undergoing a healing process, but it was sometimes excruciating and I wasn't always inclined to listen to that inner voice telling me that it would be okay. If I'd known more about actual spirituality and other such things, it would have been a lot less painful and a lot less traumatic, but that's another issue...
May the light surround you, may you be blessed. May the light surround us, may we be blessed. May love and light surround us all, and may we all be healed and blessed. And so it is, and so it shall be, now and ever after.
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