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Thread: please help, im going nuts

  1. #1
    lord shorty Guest

    please help, im going nuts

    I have an interest in this because I am dealing with some schizoid delusions (or realities) involving the selling of my soul to the devil and subsequent damnation and the waiting for death so i can burn for all eternity. I am starting to learn about jung and reality tunnels as well as other form of spirituality like shamanism, egyptian meditiation, voudon , palo, entuela kongo and lukumi and I am not sure if the voices i hear are real or not, or who they are. But I seem to have a conscious in my mind that tells me i have sold my soul and am damned and heading for hell. Sometimes he identifies himself as satan, many times he calls himself "me."

    I began to read metu neter and read about the khabit in sphere 10 and the animal spirit of man, Im still learning but I think I may have succombed to this part of my psyche...


    I have several theories as to why all this is happening. I have led up till recently a life containing a caustic family realtionship. I fought and argued with my brother and parents for many years and I am very ashamed of the evilI I have comitted verbally and in the uncontrolled use of my temper.

    I now fear it is too late since this is what the voices tell me. I initially began having enormous dread in crowds and hearing a dark male voice telling me bad things about myself. this was under the influence of marijuana. At this time my family issues were not being adequately worked on and I was struggling in college.

    Eventually, when high, the voice identified himself as the devil. One time, when high I sold him my soul and immediately knew that i was going to hell and going to burn for all time.

    A lot of this might have to do with imprinting of religious ideas and projections. The actuall beings i hear may be thought complexes or personalities from my collective unconscious that have found my ego and like to intrude on it.

    I have heard schizoid thought is a defense mechanism that is caused by stress and that this is my particular defense mechanism. I am convinced my family relationship and negative actions influenced this whole process.

    I am wondering if you understand or can offer any insight into this. And if you can point me to any authors or thinkers or philosophies that could provide assistance.



    I was wondering if this is my personal god or lower power, and is it evil and mean becauseI was evil and mean? OR is this the inner power that was in my since birth that has shaped my actions from the unconscious since birth. (I often think i am a demon, or was just born bad, and the voice often agrees that I am demonic or a bad seed)

    In public i am distraught because I think I have connections with other lost souls who are also grimly awaiting merciless punishment in hell.

    I also hear voices in public that make me think i am picking up other peoples thoughts but only if the thoughts have to do with my status as a damned soul, a person that "is finished" and that "nothing can be done for."


    Well I just wanted to see if you could offer any advice.

    thanks

  2. #2
    Guest
    Hi,
    I will pm you.
    Dan

  3. #3
    Guest
    I also hear voices in public that make me think i am picking up other peoples thoughts but only if the thoughts have to do with my status as a damned soul, a person that "is finished" and that "nothing can be done for."
    OK, this is a little more complicated than just schizoid thoughts...something or someone is screwing around with your sense of reality, me thinks...but things need to be ruled out to be sure.

    Firstly, get Robert Bruce's book, Practical Psychic Self Defense

    WHile looking for the book, you can try some of his countermeasures against psychic attack here: http://www.astraldynamics.com/tutorials/?BoardID=10

    Try the Mega Salt Bath and see if the voices go down or subside...if they do, this IS Psychic Attack.

  4. #4
    Try the chest test; look down at your chest for a minute - if it's moving then it isn't too late to fix things. While you're alive you can change anything!

    Do as DK suggests & start building your defences. NEW work (url=http://www.astraldynamics.com/tutorials/]see here[/url]) could also help by helping you centre yourself & building your strength to deal with things.

    When you hear the voice, listen carefully - whose voice is it? Mostly when people hear voices it is personified in the voice of someone they know & this can help find a way through. Sometimes you need to disconnect from that person, sometimes make things right with them - depends on the relationship you've had with them.

    Above all, try to break the fear cycle; you CAN do something about this but if you let fears overtake you then it is much much harder to do anything. Do some deep slow breathing, using your stomach to pull air in & to push it out. This gets you breathing low into your chest & almost instantly makes you calmer. When we fear or panic, we tend to breath with just the top part of our lungs & that brings more of a panic feel to us. Long & slow, deep into the chest, brings clamness.
    Never doubt there is Truth, just doubt that you have it!

  5. #5
    Lord shorty

    I've been through the devil thing. (it's just a ploy) How many differant voices do you hear? If they are multiple my geuss is they each have a differant personality. In other words they have a roll in messing with your head.

    What Journyman say's about listening to the voices is not a popular method here! But i agree with him (sence i have constant voices) you can learn from these. It appears to me the ones that work with voices are allot of theatrics "all show". And after awhile you'll see a normal partern.


    Dan "this dan not related to mrmesells"

  6. #6
    No, I didn't mean listen to what they have to say, I meant listen to identify the particular voice - often we get voices telling us things & the content reacts & so we don't hear 'who' is telling us. By identifying the voice it is sometimes possible to find the original entry point & close it off.

    But I'm certainly no expert at this; it's only logic telling me that knowing whose voice is being used could offer a point of attack to remove the influences.
    Never doubt there is Truth, just doubt that you have it!

  7. #7
    Dialgo Guest
    My prayers are with you. It's NEVER to late, untill your gone. I have no fancy advice, but im sure what the others have sugested are great ideas. Seek them out. I don't know what you believe, but you could try asking for God to deliver you. Blessings to you...

  8. #8
    Join Date
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    And don't let them make you feel guilty about anything. You weren't born bad and no matter what you've said or done in the past, whether it was you or outside influences, you can evolve beyond that. You acted based on what you knew then. You are who you are now and it is your life, your soul. Deals made while delusional don't count.
    "A dream is a question, not an answer."
    (Therapist and dreamworker Strephon Kaplan
    Williams)

  9. #9
    So listening means not listening, seem's like i'm learning something new today Can you tell me when you identify the voice how do you determine the point of entry?

    Dan

  10. #10
    Guest
    When you hear the voice, listen carefully - whose voice is it? Mostly when people hear voices it is personified in the voice of someone they know & this can help find a way through. Sometimes you need to disconnect from that person, sometimes make things right with them - depends on the relationship you've had with them.
    I DO NOT AGREE...listen to me, they can imitate people's voices (eg, Ewok saying he hear's Robert Bruce trying to telepathically communicate with him).

    The more you listen, whether it is to identify the voice, or listen to the content, you go further inside your head and away from the outside world. You create reality by interacting with the outside world...the further inside your head you go, you start interacting with those voices, you start creating reality by interacting with those voices...the reality the source of the voices create is going to be by their logic, their value system, etc, and it's never humane. They'll start conditioning you to have you subverted to your will.

    Get out of your head, don't listen to them at all regardless of what they say or sound like, concentrate on your normal life.

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