nkd MAP Journal

[nkd]

Hello everyone, today I will officially start the MAP program and I want to write a day by day journal of my progress and experiences. By doing this I will be publicly compromised to be constant in my training and hopefully this will help other people with the same goal as me--an out of body experience. I would also appreciate any feedback throughout my training.

This will be a 90 day journal.

I want to start with some information about me... I am a 21 years old male. I have been interested in OBE's since 3 years ago and I have read books like "journeys out of the body" by R. Monroe, "out of body experiences" by R. Peterson. Actually, I find a little funny that all the books I own about OBE related topics have authors with the first name Robert (including Robert Bruce who is one of the authors of the MAP program).

I have had the MAP book for almost two years now but I failed at the first atemp to do the program. My experience with trying to have an OBE ended up in complete frustration and the belief that I would never have one. In that time I tried really hard but the most I was able to get was dreaming twice about having an OBE and loosing complete control over my dream.

One year passed without me trying again, but recently I maneged to get a copy of the "Gateway Expercience" by hemi-sync. I thought that would be my solution and I started the program 5 days ago. In the 5th lesson the guy in the tape just says: "OK, now roll out of your body". Well, I visualized it but it did not happen. In that same lesson I was supposed to fall asleep at the count of 10, which also did not happen... So I think I was not getting anywhere with the program that I thought would be my magical solution.

Then I remembered I had a copy of the MAP and decided to start that program again; and write this journal. I am very determined to do this and I really hope to achieve my goal this time.

[nkd]

** Day 1 ** April 5 2007
Today I read the first pages of the book all the way until day one. I will count this day as day 1 even though I started at half day and I was not able to do my dream journal, etc.. I read some threads in the astraldynamics forum to fill my mind with OBE material. I also ordered the astral dynamics book from amazon and other two OBE related books.
I recited a couple of times the affirmations and at night I did the following exercises: Lower legs relaxation, breathing awareness and mobile body awareness. I did the exercises in front of my computer (in a chair which has upper back support but no head support). I felt that I could get really focused in my breathing but for short amounts of time; then some foreign thoughts would come and the process started again. The relaxation of legs I think it went OK (at least I felt my muscles relaxed compared to the contractions of my muscles when I was tensing them). I do not know how well I did the mobile body awareness.. I am not sure how “real” the feeling of the tracing should feel when done mentally. I tried half of the exercise in a sitting position and the other half laying down on my back.
I printed some copies of the dream journal template and I am ready for writing my keywords tomorrow. Recently I never remember my dreams so this is going to be hard for me. I am conscious this is going to be my greatest weakness, remembering my dreams and OBE’s.

[Beekeeper]

Good luck this time around, nkd. The online journal should motivate you.

As for dream recall, mine is always better when I get enough sleep and if I'm mentally quiet as I fall asleep. Be sure to make writing in your dream journal the first thing you do after you wake up in the morning.

Having some familiarity with Monroe's cds, and based on what you've said about them, I think you may not have followed the instructions entirely accurately. (Hmm, I'll have to resume those cds at some point myself).

[nkd]

Good luck this time around, nkd. The online journal should motivate you.

As for dream recall, mine is always better when I get enough sleep and if I'm mentally quiet as I fall asleep. Be sure to make writing in your dream journal the first thing you do after you wake up in the morning.

Having some familiarity with Monroe's cds, and based on what you've said about them, I think you may not have followed the instructions entirely accurately. (Hmm, I'll have to resume those cds at some point myself).

Thank you for the input. Do not get me wrong, I think the hemi-sync cd's are great. I believe I DID follow the instructions correctly but I probably need to spend like one whole month working on the focus 10 thing. I will try again the Gateway Experience AFTER I successfully complete the MAP program because its probably too advanced for me and I should learn the basics first like an effective body relaxation technique, clearing my mind from other thoughts and remembering my dreams because in one of the tapes I fell asleep and what if I had an OBE but I do not remember?

[nkd]

** Day 2 ** April 6 2007

I woke up with an alarm clock I set up in my computer which starts playing random mp3’s from my music library. When I first heard the music playing and opened my eyes I was able to remember some scenes of my dream but I did the worst thing I could have done, I assumed that my dream was to “easy to remember” and that I would not have any problem remembering it so I did not wrote any keywords and I closed my eyes and fell asleep again. My alarm clock started to play the music at 7am and I finally woke up completely at 10am. In that lapse of time I slept and woke up like 5 times. When I finally woke up I did not remembered anything about my dream. the only thing I remembered was that I thought it was very easy to remember and that it was impossible for me to forget. Well, it happened and I did forget. I have no clue what was that dream about... Luckily when I slept again I had like three other dreams. I was able to record some keywords for two of them (I actually do not remember very well the details but at least I was able to write like three keywords). When I was taking a shower I was trying very hard to remember more details about the dreams and I ended up remembering a scene from another dream I had. I wrote what I could remember (which was not much) and I ended up with keywords from three different dreams but with almost no detail. At least I was able to remember something about my dreams because usually I do not remember anything at all. I will keep up with my dream journal and slowly I will start to remember more and more details about my dreams. Actually I have been in this cycle before:
1) I do not remember anything about my dreams
2) I start a dream journal and I start to remember one or two words
3) After some days I start remembering my dreams with plenty more detail
4) I start remembering not just one dream but two or three dreams in a night.
5) I stop writing in the dream journal and I stop remembering my dreams.
So I know in advance that the dream journal works but the hard part is being consistent in writing it every day. Right now I took the first step which is starting it, and this time I will not let myself fail.

I will start asking myself if I am dreaming as a daily affirmation because I do not just want to remember my dreams but I want to have lucid dreams to double my chances in having an OBE.

I did the exercises at night. sitting in my hard backed computer chair without shoes and with a pillow below my feet. The lower body relaxation went OK but I am still getting used to the whole sitting meditation thing because I have always done it laying down in my bed.

In the breathing exercise I discovered that I can remain more focused if I pay attention to my belly movement while breathing instead of focusing just in my breathing. I visualize the inward and outward movement.

The body awareness exercise went better than the one I did yesterday, but I had to do some cheating... I opened my eyes and did the motion with my other hand finger (without actually touching) but visualizing as if it was touching. I was able to feel this way the energy moving through my thumb. it was really cool I felt like if my left hand index had some sort of magnetic field which moved the inside of my thumb. I tried to recreate the same effect using just my mind but it was not that powerful. I also had trouble with the “sponge action”.

Its late now and I have ready my dream journal. I hope I can make some progress tomorrow in my dream recall ability.

[nkd]

** Day 3 ** April 7 2007

I woke up two times in the middle of the night to capture some dream keywords. I thought that by just writing some words would be enough to remember the dream... for my surprise, when I tried to read the keywords in the morning they were almost unreadable. I was able to read only two words and they gave me no clue at all of my two midnight dreams. The funny thing is that I did remember a scene from another dream I had this night and I wrote it down in my piece of paper.

My lesson learned is that from now on I will write all the details about the dream instead of just a few keywords; or at least I will try to write clearly so I can understand what I wrote. The problem with this night was that I wrote the keywords with my eyes closed. Not a very good idea.

Like every other day I did my daily exercises at night. I dimmed the lights and I started with the relaxation and breathing routine. I feel like I am getting used to getting relaxed while sitting.

After clearing my mind I began with the body awareness exercises. I started with my right thumb. Like yesterday, I had to open my eyes and first rub my skin and then do the motion with my left index finger as if it was touching my skin. It works wonders because I could feel energy moving through up and down my thumb. I was actually visualizing that my index finger was firing a laser that penetrated my thumb. After some minutes I was able to do the same thing but with my eyes closed (but still doing the motion with my index finger); it had the same effect.

I did the same procedure with my left thumb, my right toe, and my left toe. feeling the energy in my toes was more difficult than feeling it in my thumbs, but after a while I started feeling something. I moved my feet very close to each other and I did the same thing but with both toes at the same time (splitting my awareness), this time I used my index and middle finger at the same time to recreate the motion. After some minutes of practice I tried to do it with my eyes closed and without any motion of my fingers. I visualized a scene of my fingers doing the up and down motion and I was able to feel the energy : ) I did the same thing with my two thumbs.

I do not feel much difference with the brushing action and the sponging action. I just visualize up and down movement and I feel something moving inside my thumbs and toes which I believe is the main goal of the exercise.

I am ready for tomorrow and I am a spirit in a body capable of experiencing dimensions beyond physical existence. and.. I recognize each morning as a fresh opportunity to hone my astral memory

[nkd]

** Day 4 ** April 8 2007

I woke up in the middle of the night to record my ‘dream keywords’. This time I payed attention to write with my eyes open and with good handwriting. Also I tried to write everything I could and not just few words. I was able to write one whole paragraph with approximately 50 words (compared to just a few words which was what I have been able to write on previous days). I went to sleep again and in the morning I had no more memories of other dreams. I remembered just one dream this night but with much more detail than other nights.

In the noon I was very tired and I took a nap. when I woke up I remained for some seconds in a state of knowing I was dreaming but feeling my physical body sleeping; I thought “this is your opportunity to become lucid” and I tried to keep dreaming while repeating the phrase “this is a dream” but I became more and more aware of my physical body and I woke up. I remembered my dream and I started writing it. This time I wrote a paragraph of about 100 words. this was much more than what I remembered today in the morning! I think I am going to start not an electronic dream journal instead of those blank pages that everyone can read.

At night I completed the daily exercises. Today I did not notice any improvement in my breathing awareness. My mind was a little bit distracted. I spent a lot more than 10 minutes in the body awareness because I had to do toe by toe and then all toes at the same time. I noticed some energy in all my toes but I was not completely satisfied. I noticed I can get better results by imagining and feeling balls of energy moving inside my toes instead of a brush or a sponge.

[nkd]

** Day 5 ** April 9 2007

Last night I did not activate my alarm clock to see if I would remember better my dreams today. When I woke up I was in complete shock because I did not remembered any dream! I slept again for a few minutes and I had a very short dream and suddenly, while being in that dream, I remembered my other dream and I woke up. I wrote everything down in my dream journal. It wasn’t much but at least I remembered something.

At night I did my daily exercises. I started with the relaxation routine. It went smoothly and I felt very relaxed afterwards. I do not like to time the relaxation routine. I am more of the idea that it takes the time it has to take and if you are timing it then you wont relax properly.

For the breathing awareness I have found very important to put a timer or otherwise I will start worrying about how much time I have been concentrating in my breathing. And I will start with philosophical questioning about how will I know when to stop if I am not thinking in anything... so the best way is to put a timer with sound and when I hear the sound then its time to stop.

The body awareness went great! I was supposed to start with my toes and then my feet but I started right away with the stirring motion in my right foot (the book says to start with the left foot I do not why but I started with my right foot). This time I did not used my fingers at all. I just tried to remember how would it feel if I were actually touching my sole. I started feeling energy after some seconds. Then I imagined the brush and the feeling was much more intense, and it grew more with the sponge. The book is right in that you feel your feet like when they fall asleep and then restore circulation. I did each foot separately and then both feet at the same time. I was very happy with the results. I found much more easy to target my whole foot than to target one toe.

[bastien001]

** Day 5 ** April 9 2007

I am more of the idea that it takes the time it has to take

> That's a good overview about relaxation.

** Day 5 ** April 9 2007

For the breathing awareness I have found very important to put a timer or otherwise I will start worrying about how much time I have been concentrating in my breathing. And I will start in philosophical questioning about how will I know when to stop if I am not thinking in anything... so the best way is to put a timer with sound and when I hear the sound then its time to stop.

> use whatever tools help you to feel more confident.

[bastien001]

I will try again the Gateway Experience AFTER I successfully complete the MAP program because its probably too advanced for me and I should learn the basics first like an effective body relaxation technique

> myself, I had no success with Hemi sync but I think you can go over it after MAP.
It's like learning to walk : MAP is learning to walk, HemiSYnc Gateway is offering you a ballad. But can you just enjoy a nice walk if you just can't walk fine ?
The missing poin t to me in Hemi Sync is the all-important MAP concept of ''silght discomfort'' and trance state (which will come later in MAP).
Like Beekeeper, I think one day I will come over Hemi sync again using MAP tools and I can foersee the hemi sync experiences will be tremendous ! But it might be just after having had some OBEs.

MAP is sooooo powerful. When you'll get at the end of the program, you 'll feel like someone with superskills, it will just boost you into OBEs. Your bed will become a departure station for space travel, as I like to call it.
You'll just clap hands when back from experiences you'll come to love, like I do. And you'll just send many kisses to Robert and Brian, on this very site...hum, am I foreseeing the future ?