Ok. I really need help with something. =( I feel like punching something at this point because for the entire past week, I have felt so spacey that I have been asked by people who don't know me on three different occasions what I am smoking. I'm not going to punch anything, but it's extremely frustrating. I don't even feel comfortable letting myself drive a car, luckily the grocery store is nearby and I have good friends who drive me places when I need. But the other day I went to a tattoo parlor with a friend so she could get her tattoo touched up, and I actually went up to the guy doing her tattoo and said that "In my spaceship there are many potatos." And then laughed about it for the next half hour while my friend was in pain and kinda felt like punching me (cause getting her tattoo was so painful and I was sitting there laughing, not at her or anything, but it was still irritating. I'm 22 years old, I just totally can't think straight right now.)

I have a mild psychotic disorder that up until this point has been well under control with medication. For the past week I've been so spacey though, and it's a spaciness unlike any I've ever felt before. It's not too terribly intense compared to what I've experienced before, but it's just different. I see my psychiatrist in a couple days (thank god) and hopefully we can figure it out. (One thing that's really cool is she's open to the idea of metaphysical energy and I feel comfortable talking to her about NEW.) But, I also wanted to get different opinions from folks here, leave no stone unturned - so I wanted to ask if doing NEW on the secondary system only (hands/arms/legs/feet) could be causing me to space. I've been doing it unreliably since January 30th and then changed to doing it pretty faithfully on April 1st-ish.

I know the universe is trying to teach me something with this, I just have to figure out what it is. Ugh it is sooo frustrating. In fact it's so bad I'm still kinda chuckling at the potatos thing as I write this and I *know* it's not actually that funny. This was kinda interesting for the first day or two but now I really, really need to get it figured out so I can start having a life again....

Oh I forgot to mention. I've never done drugs at all. I'm just so spaced I act like it. And also, I've always had a high degree of insight into my psychotic symptoms, so much so that my doctor was not sure what to diagnose me as. So don't worry, I won't let this go unhandled for long. I'm seeing my psychiatrist as soon as she can see me. If I sound relatively lucid, it's just cause I've been functioning with mild spaciness for so long I'm pretty good at it. This is more than I can handle, though. =(