Got my lab results, happy to say they were negative, and there is no organic explanation for my symptoms. Since the little ritual, no more muscle weakness, therefore no need for the neurologist. So, panic attacks it isWhat sneaky things they are! My Rx? Guided meditations. Got suggestions for tapes and CDs to listen to. Well, here's to calming down
Venerable Member
And back to you. They grow when more people have it.
Seems you are back at the helm of your life, hm?
Good success and take good care,
Oliver
So that crap came back! All was good today, as have been the past few days, until today (or yesterday, as it's almost 5am). Someone came over, a relative, whom I have not seen in a while. As soon as she came in, the dizzies came. I didn't feel as uneasy, just kind of disappointed. I want this all to make sense. We talked about lots of mundane type things, and she became very emotional about some things from the past, and by this time I was trying really hard to keep composure despite sensations of whirling out of control. And then, it happened. She began throw her beliefs upon me (she's a christian that belongs to a church that believes in demons and possession and whatnot--go figure) about how if we don't give ourselves over to JC, we attract these bugaboos that want to screw with our happiness, etc. She went on about how you can tell you got demons, describing basically all my weird symptoms, which I never told her about, BTW. She has always appeared mildly delusional to me, a person who feels it's her duty to be ridden by some negative event or another, and as a defense mech, she tries to help others, by counseling tem, casting out their bugaboos. All the while this was going on, a phrase popped up in my mind, and kept repeating--there is no greater power than the power of love. Eventually I interrupted her with this phrase. Suddenly, she up and left, mumbling something as she hurried and said she'd be back. Needless to say, it freaked me out. Could she be a cause of this? If I feel this dizzy $hit when I get up later, I'll be ready to get medieval on somebody, seriously, enough is enough!
Venerable Member
Hello, MD2BE.
When did the sensations or the change of atmosphere start? When your relative came? When she came over to your house, when she entered your estate?
A few details might go a long way in analysing this.
It *could* be that your relative's obsession with demons and such *might* be a subconscious reaction to an attachment to her. IMO real inner spiritual love protects, but spouting out scripture without deep belief is just lip service.
Perhaps you could analyse the visit further, take another salt bath to be sure. Learn how to do Core Image Removal. And perhaps you can even find access to that Love you described?
Take good care and be well,
Oliver
Your cousin isn't the cause of anything. She was just being used, without knowing it herself, to bring you "back in the line". You strayed too far into freedom, and that's something that always requires attention from the source that used her.Originally Posted by MD2BE
What you feel is not new. I had exactly the same symptoms while I was going through a period of panic attacks several years ago. Going through it helped me immensely to realize the situation all people are in. We are just not aware of our situation... yet.
That dream you had, begging a man to cut off your leg... You tried to take the easy way out of this situation we are all in. Since it was your own wish, you were liberated from your problem and left alone. But, that kind of liberation is only a temporary relief. The situation hasn't changed, and what is influencing people (you, as well as everyone else) is still "out there".
You'll have to find in yourself the courage to stop looking for easy ways out.
I am sorry to have to say this, but you took responsibility for something before you came to this world. You can always try to evade that responsibility, and you will be allowed to do that. But others, the friends you've never met, will suffer because of your choice. I know I may be making little sense to you, but try to feel what I'm saying. You can feel it even if you have no conscious knowledge about it.
The struggle is still going on, and it's intensifying. I've been feeling it for over a month now. Expect more of the same in the future. Other people you know may try similar tricks on you. They will not do it out of their own free will, but will be compelled to do it without realizing it. Forgive them and move on. There are more important things coming our way.
Senior Member
elendal
All people are in.
This doesn't make much sense, if that was true i think we would all be screwed
Dan
Interesting replies!
She was already in my home when I came downstairs, everyone was going through some stuff she brought over from her house, old junk she thought we might want: her old wedding veil (she's 2 years out of a failed marriage), some brandy snifters, and a rope of beaded garland, a weird hodge-podge of stuff. Plus some cake, it was her birthday recently. We talked about so many things, mostly her own issues with coping with family. She feels like a victim in so many scenarios. She makes assumptions about people's feelings, then goes fault-finding and clue-searching to support her views, much of which is unfair or plain ridiculous. She's a beautiful woman, with a huge heart, but a heavy heart. She comes off as using her religion to help her avoid facing her truths. She has potential to be bigger and better, lighter and happier, but somehow, she's duped into finding such comfort in misery. With every bad thing she mentioned, I gave her a viable option, or helped her see a lesson, just to keep positive flow into the conversation. It's not healthy in her eyes that I am not religous. I told her, our only difference was that she chooses to drink from a crystal chalice, I from a plastic cup. But what matters most at the end of the day is, we're both drinking the same water. After an hour of this kind of talk, the dizzies came. Her conversation and expression seemed to grow darker. More desperate, less coherent. "The demons give false comforts, cloud up your mind so you can't recognize what's good anymore". The feeling grew more intense, and that's when I started to say what I said about love, she left abruptly. I woke up today feeling fine. Today my kids were invited to her place, we declined.
Elandal, you are right, I can make neither heads nor tails of what you wrote, but thank you for sharing your thoughts. Perhaps in the future, I'll be more enlightened and then understand it
Hi MD,
You've gotten some good feedback already, but something that occurred to me that I haven 't seen mentioned yet is that you might want to look into shielding if you haven't already. If your problems can be triggered by certain people (or anything that might be attached to them) it might help to block out that kind of energy/influence.
There's a good thread on shielding here: http://forums.astraldynamics.com/viewtopic.php?t=2479
But we are. Our society is such a clear example of it, but we don't see it because we can't imagine anything being different. It's a different perspective one has to look from in order to see it. It's like we are living in a carbon box for our whole lives, and we can't even imagine what lies outside of it. We've simply never seen it. Even OBEs and APs take us only to a bigger box. Only when you really leave the box, you can look back and see it for what it really was.All people are in.
This doesn't make much sense, if that was true i think we would all be screwed
On the positive side, this is just a passing period of human history that has to be lived through. Otherwise, we'd make exactly the same mistakes so many had made before us.
It will change, and after the change people will truly understand what kind of prison they all lived in. We are all in this together, so there's no point in blaming anything on another human being, even those we love to hate. That was my message to MD2BE.
I think I understand this now, thank you Elendal.But we are. Our society is such a clear example of it, but we don't see it because we can't imagine anything being different. It's a different perspective one has to look from in order to see it. It's like we are living in a carbon box for our whole lives, and we can't even imagine what lies outside of it. We've simply never seen it. Even OBEs and APs take us only to a bigger box. Only when you really leave the box, you can look back and see it for what it really was.All people are in.
This doesn't make much sense, if that was true i think we would all be screwed
On the positive side, this is just a passing period of human history that has to be lived through. Otherwise, we'd make exactly the same mistakes so many had made before us.
It will change, and after the change people will truly understand what kind of prison they all lived in. We are all in this together, so there's no point in blaming anything on another human being, even those we love to hate. That was my message to MD2BE.
Update: Had a breakthrough with my sisinlaw. I threw out all those old things she brought to us as 'gifts', then did a cleansing of my home. I cleansed myself, then put my "shields" up. She came to visit, and like before, we talked. This time, she appeared more humbled, and more receptive and actually broke down. She admitted to me that she never did that before. I am sure it was a long overdue release. I imagine that what I had done earlier with salt, she was doing to herself with her tears. After, she took a nap. After waking, she thanked me for "what I did" for her. I don't feel like I did anything, other than to listen. But ever since, and it has been a week, no more of those bad feelings, symptoms. To this day, I still can't say whether or not she had anything to do with the stuff I was feeling from the beginning or not. What I can say is that life is good, and I am ready to write my boards. Peace and love to me, to you, to everyone
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