Member with a cool Moderator Hat(tm)
Boy, do I know that one, too.Originally Posted by LuXFluX
I thought it was really weird, too, but I thought, hey, couldn't hurt to give it a try, and I've gained hugely from the practice and from this community. I'm a believer now, having experienced it firsthand in many ways.
I'm so glad you've found hope again. Without that, you're pretty lost. Welcome back.
May the light surround you, may you be blessed. May the light surround us, may we be blessed. May love and light surround us all, and may we all be healed and blessed. And so it is, and so it shall be, now and ever after.
I read this post with a heavy heart for the pain you must be feeling at this moment.
I myself have been in a similar situation. What I would say to you is that what you have provided this girl with so far has been without personal gain for yourself.
I think the comments made regarding this girl hurting you, and then perhaps feeling guilty about it may be causing her to distance herself from you are probably very true. People dont like to be reminded of times where they have acted badly.
I would also confirm that people who often lay with other people, without love or want for more from them can be suffering from low-self esteem or abandonment issues. I understand that the thought of this perhaps may make you want to protect them even more, to proove that you wont be just another person who will abandon them too.
The trouble with this situation is that it is often you who is left behind, after they have treated you badly, they are often appalled by their behaviour and feel the need to move on afresh, where they indeed may make the same mistake with the next person.
I would ask that you take some form of positive from the situation, if my assumption is correct, (and I hope I have not been too presumptious!) - you just may have laid down some foundations for her not to make the same mistakes with someone else, for indeed, she may have went through her life doing this to everyone, I know in a period of pain, this may not seem like much consellation, however, when you give light to people, you can eventually, when the pain ceases to suffocate you, understand that what you have done for this person is that of a true giver of light.
Sometimes, when all you want is that person, it is hard to see that what you had to offer them, you have already given.
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you will know exactly what to do.
I hope your pain eases soon. Good luck.
Laura x
I always liked this poem, it has given me a great deal of strength in the past: - You need to ask yourself, which of these did you come into her life for.
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, is real. But only for a season.!
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Manky,
Thanks for posting I appreciate it. These have been tough times for me so I'm really glad to hear your input. I suppose what you've posted is essentially the larger question of what I'm dealing with developmentally. I've heard much of what you've said before, but I'm not one to accept much of anything. Many teachings speak about the nature of our personal relationships, and indeed, they *seem* accurate. But I often wonder underneath them what they are. Saying people are in your life for different periods....it has no "teeth" in my opinion. It is simply true. I've wondered most of my life about this....religions for the most part do nothing in the way of allowing one to conquer their environment. They allow you at most to resign with dignity really. That statement is a statement of resignation to me. But....resignation is natural. It is the lot of most people I guess. What I've striven for in my life personally is to conquer these kinds of assumed resignations. Like...well if someone leaves it was their time....if you don't get the job it's because you weren't meant to....this has always seemed like useless platitudes to me.
Not that I'm saying that to combat or argue with you, I hope you don't get that impression. The tone of what you said and many parts of your statement don't seem that way to me. I guess I'm just thinking...why do I want to know how to allow things to happen gracefully? Personally this isn't my way. I want to know how to change the environment around me as much as I can. If that can't be done then knowledge gives one nothing. I know why this girl is the way she is right now, why it happened, why I feel sad, why this, why that, etc.....perhaps there is a karmic why, a spiritual why......but what is the point of this information? The truth shall set you free......that statement I have found is in fact true lol. So this leads me to believe that platitudes of that nature, that force one to bow out of a situation, are false.
I'm saying this because I wonder what you or anyone else may think about it, because maybe the way I'm thinking needs some work in this case. But for me.....knowledge with teeth is worthless....."Faith without works is dead" I suppose you could say. I'm more of the "They shall call you Gods" way of thinking. I know I'm not godlike currently because of limitations, but Gods have power to change. Humans do not. If I can have power to change, I want to know. So....as jumbled as this is, I hope it is intelligible enough so that I can hear your thoughts on it. Thanks so much, it is truly helpful to talk to others about these things.
LuxFlux,
You sound a very intelligent and articulate person, it occurs to me, that you shall perhaps never accept something that you do not wish to accept, and part of me feels that you may be prolonging any pain coming to you.
For how long should you try to get someone back, who essentially maybe does not want you, perhaps treats you badly?
I only say this as I have a great deal of experience in being with someone who was horrible to me, it made me love him even more.
Why is it that in relationships, someone holds the power over the other person, that there always seems to be one person who likes the other person more?
You need to decide in order to move on, if you are going to keep persuing this person from a relationship point of view, or to move on from that side of things and become her friend. I think that by distancing yourself from her, you will see things in her that you currently do not. Perhaps what you will see will make your decision for you?
Member with a cool Moderator Hat(tm)
That's only true of dysfunctional relationships. Been there, done that, many times, but I've been with my husband for ... uhh.... fourteen years or something, been married for nearly nine years, and the balance of power is neutral, although it does tip back and forth depending on circumstances. It's an ebb and flow sort of thing, but it's never an unfair distribution.
So I can say from experience, it's not "relationships". It's BAD relationships that have the power struggles and the "love you more the more you kick me" and all that other nasty business. No judgment here, by the way. Like I said, been there, done that. What I'm saying is that it can be otherwise, and yes, change is possible.
May the light surround you, may you be blessed. May the light surround us, may we be blessed. May love and light surround us all, and may we all be healed and blessed. And so it is, and so it shall be, now and ever after.
Well then.....quite a bit has happened over these short days.
Manky, I understand where you're coming from. I don't even think I disagree with you as funny as that may sound. I've just found that whenever I think along those lines I feel a gnawing that I'm not really listening much to myself. I've actually really wanted to understand and live that path of acceptance where you shrug everything off, and I don't mean that in a crass way, I really have wanted to. But it was explained to me like this, there is the path of the mystic, and the path of the mage. The mystic is loving and passive, trusting and accepting and focuses on the love and trust of a higher power, while the mage tries to subdue his environment and become a higher power as much as he can as a human. Both cross later in development, both are incomplete, but in general you find yourself as one or the other. I have found this to be true personally, and I think by following my natural spiritual instincts to subdue things around me I will possibly understand more of what you are saying later on. What I said before was....existential complaining of a sort I guess. I've thought about all these things long before this thread so it was just nice to talk about them at all. I dunno what the hell is right at any given moment anyway lol....The one thing I will say is I'm certainly not lining up to get hurt anymore at all, or get emotionally pooed on anymore. No maam...
This weekend I feel I made great progress. The constant draining sensation in my solar plexus area has completely stopped after cutting ties with my ex energetically. I have talked to her since then and after another typical conversation of wasted energy I felt like I actually began to get through to her *gasp*. Not like I changed her mind, or a delsional I'm all better let's get back together thing but....I got through. All that crap that was in the way energetically before was not there. And I've been able to handle myself a bit better and get a grip on this whole thing. When you have your energy constantly drained there's almost no way that is possible. Overall I feel I can actually express myself again, something that was lost in all that emotion. It feels great. Must thank Olderwiser for those suggestions which are at least 99% of the reason I feel so much better (God gets 1% LOL =P).
This has been an eye opener for me overall. I suppose I've learned and experienced something far more dramatic than how to begin healing a broken heart even. One of my lifelong dreams is coming true.....I am actually having experiences that, up until now, I've only read about. It's odd when you feel a spiritual solution to a problem I've found. It just drops. I feel as though I have the tools to deal with this situation as well as a whole toolshed added to my spirituality. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I can see everything I've asked for manifesting. I think the lesson I will be focusing on is why it was neccessary to use a negative event to do so....Thanks everyone for posting, this is a wonderful group of people. I'm an insomniac at the moment, and I've had a blast reading the boards when I can't sleep. I'll keep you all updated on what happens, a little spiritual soap opera lol......
Member with a cool Moderator Hat(tm)
You're welcome, but give God the 99% credit. I fit the mystic profile as you described it, so I'm just the conduit.
I'm sincerely happy to have been of assistance, though.
Oh, you mean that thing where it's like a wall suddenly disappears and you see something that was there all along and you're both amazed and stunned that you couldn't see it prior? (I love it when that happens.)
Yay for the manifestation, as for the negative event... sometimes it's necessary to wake us up. That's my theory, anyway.
May the light surround you, may you be blessed. May the light surround us, may we be blessed. May love and light surround us all, and may we all be healed and blessed. And so it is, and so it shall be, now and ever after.
God's 1% > Olderwiser's 99%. It's Kabbalistic Math d00d. Duh.....
Have to say, that fits me 100%The mystic is loving and passive, trusting and accepting and focuses on the love and trust of a higher power,
Interesting point you made about being one or the other and perhaps learning both over the course of your life.
I think throughout this conversation, I have learned a lot from you all.
Learn something new everyday is my lifetime motto, hopefully LOTS of things.
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