Quote Originally Posted by slyspectre
Well it has been a while since I have posted here, since I went back to the Christian life and they condemn astral projection as demonic.
Well, right away I can tell you that the problem is not going back to the christian life- the problem is that deep down the christian sect you have chosen doesn't approve of what you do, and that is giving you all kinds of guilt and opening up negativity for you.
Bad stuff has been happening. Within a week of recommitting myself to God, I lost my job through doing something dumb I just normally wouldn't. Same week....I lost my place to live suddenly. The landlord decides to move his family in our home and we're out. I was staying with a friend. Visited by shadows in sleep, one time 3 over me saying something like "he's trying to exchange."
It seems to me that perhaps the atmosphere you have chosen is not right for you- there are many christian denominations that support your spiritual search, that don't tell you to stop exploring your life and your mind. Maybe it's God telling you this is not where you're supposed to be.
Astral sight would kick in. I had the strong urge to move to California where I am from, but came back because I felt strongly God wanted me here in Oregon. Well once I got established here I started hearing constant never ending insults:
Sounds to me that you're tuning into a group consciousness. If the group consciousness is one of 'putting people down that are not how they think they should be' it doesn't surprise me you're picking up on this. It is possible that these people do really think of you as anything you don't approve. And you're interpreting it that way.
"We hate you"
"Go away, we don't want you here."
"Go HOME!!!"
"This is my home."
"Go away/home RIGHT NOW!!"
"I want you back"
This sounds to me like you know you don't fit in and are creating those voices. Maybe you should ask yourself what is it in this group you think needs you. For example, most people turn to religion because they feel they need it. But you said you think they need you. Why do you think they need you? Is it because you're there to open up their eyes, to show them that christianity shouldn't be about rebuking people for who they are, that it shoudn't strive to control their minds and prevent them from studying and learning all there is to learn?

I hear the good voices always saying:

"Faith/Where's your faith?"
"Don't worry"
"Pray"
Praying is good.

I really don't know what is going on, but I don't really want to do the countermeasures per se, for after doing one is when I was told to repent and scary stuff happened. I do not want to move, but nothing is getting rid of these beings. No amount of reading scripture, praying, fasting, getting blessings, exorcism, anything. I also hear something talking within me from my stomach saying things like "Go home." Sometimes when I am about to drift to sleep I will hear the most intelligent of all voices I have been experiencing coming from within my mind. Saying things like this is a matter of HIS survival. The ones harassing me are his guards. Once heard "You're no longer king." (Of this body?) I really really don't know what to do now. All of this because I quit magick and astral projection and turned to God. I won't even go into the months I spent homeless and impoverished after losing job/home/car. I see shadow people frequently. Is there anyone with insight/knowledge who can help. Any help is welcomed. I am desperate. Is there a way out, or is this forever?
No, this is not because you 'turned back to God'. God always wants the best for you. This is something that so many people don't get. The idea that God makes you suffer is wrong, and if you are in a group that thinks that then pain is what you're going to get. You have to realize that if you feel magick is wrong, then stop doing it, but the fact is that 'knowing' the greater reality is knowing more of God, because God is guiding you always. Once you realize and really understand that what God wants is 'to give you the Kingdom', then you don't have to suffer. You can find a christian sect that believes that God is Love and that Love is unconditional, and you'll be ok.
If this truly started when you joined this christian sect, then maybe these voices are coming from them, not from you. So no, you don't have to live like this forever. Find a christian sect that actually practices what Jesus taught: To Love God unconditionally and to Love your neighbor as yourself.
All this gay-bashing and self-hate spewing from these groups is the exact opposite of that. Once you realize this, you can find the right group for you.
This is what I think, anyway.