what part of me am I the "author" of? musings + questions

[Seeuzin]

I was thinking today about the human body, and how it contains all of these automatic processes: heartbeat. Kidney function. Blood-sugar-level regulation so the right amount of glucose is in our bloodstream at all times (and it's not exactly a wide range, given our habit of digesting a bunch of food at once and then not eat for at least a few hours.) The list goes on. And I thought, "someone" must have designed this...must have given me all these systems. Or, perhaps physical evolution took place in tandem with spirit, and as physical life increased in complexity it grew to be able to accomodate more and more complex souls. In either case, I didn't give myself my physical body. It was, in one way or another, "given" to me.

All this time I had been thinking that my astral body was more of the "real" me, or something like that....til I took a closer look at it. It, too, has a bunch of automatic processes that I can influence, but not control. It has all these wonderful (if sometimes irritating) regulatory mechanisms, maintenance processes, and alarm systems (like emotional pain) that I know *I* didn't put in place. You even hear of people who claim that it can die (soul death), like the physical one.

That leads me of course to the questions, "Was my astral body, with all these inbuilt processes, "given" to me like my physical one?" and "If my astral body was given to me, is it also, like the physical, not the "real" me? What is the real me, the part of myself that I can truly say I am the full author of?" And I'm also curious about the question, "Can this more essential part of me be destroyed?"

What are yall's thoughts on this?

[ButterflyWoman]

This is only my personal (and current) reflection on this topic.

I have recently come to believe that everything that can be described, examined, perceived, viewed, etc., is part of the illusion, the maya. I had not thought about it much, but a couple of posts here made me think about it, and I believe it's correct. These things are all just another part of the dream.

The "true self" is... I don't know, but I lean toward the idea that it is our actual consciousness. People perceive this as "spirit" and that may well be the case, but in any event, I believe that our consciousness is the "true self".

I've always been aware that I was not this body, and that I was not this mind. At times, I have been extremely overwhelmed by the body and ego, yes, but even as a child I knew, somehow, that this was not the true self. The true self, the Subtle Self, is something quite beyond any vehicle we might put on or use in the dream.

I don't know if that makes any sense. I've ONLY just come to actually see it for myself, so I'm not sure if I'm articulating it so that anyone but me can understand.

[Korpo]

Full control of autonomous processes is not beyond human reach, it does require a lot of skill, though, and long training. Making the liver secrete, making every muscle in the body move individually and exactly, influencing the flow of blood, all these things have been done by masters. I can only guess, but I'd say the same is true for the other bodies, too.

One question is how much of your awareness is bound in unconscious processes, and how you regain it. Or does additional awareness enable to influence unconscious processes? But then again, if everything is made out of consciousness - as it is said to be - then maybe these processes are just the part of your own consciousness unaware of itself, and maybe your consciousness is part of a wider consciousness, and you are unaware of that?

The mere fact, however, that we are born without these skills and awareness points to some kind of plan or development, whether evolutionary, intentional or both.

Oliver

[Seeuzin]

Thanks for yall's well-thought-out replies =) and olderwiser, you articulated it well. That must be quite something, to be able to see that you aren't this mind. I can't seem to separate myself from it enough to even begin to see that.