Head pain and Breath Awareness

[Korpo]

One thing that occurred to me: sometimes you mention "scalp" and sometimes "brow". In my experience though these areas seem very separate. The top of the head (crown area) can be worked on as much as you want, without nasty side effects. In fact clearing this area seems somehow very key to the whole process. I know all vibrational input I get from outside comes through the top of the head. It almost seems like this area functions as the "pupil" of the mind (the 6th sense organ in pan-indian conception), that allows it to perceive "dhammas" - mental sense objects. So the top of the head can and should be cleaned up as much as possible I think. Despite any strong nausea/discomfort that it may bring up. In my experience these are harmless.

The whole process started with problems in the scalp for me.

But like you say, blockages, and especially those rooted in chakras, put out tentacles throughout the body. If it's brow-blockage-tentacles reaching into your scalp, that's another story.

I think it's both. My third eye sight is slowly coming online. It's not that problematic. As long as I vary my techniques (or the newest variant thereof) it is not actually that much of problem anymore.

I think this is a fantastic image. But rather than sitting on a blockage and trying to penetrate to the core of it, I find it much more productive to start with an outlying "tentacle" and work inward from there. These tentacles reach out from the core all the way to the surface of the body, so the straightest path into the core is by catching hold of the far end of a tentacle and following it in. Like you say - "feeling for a contour", but even further out this works too. The farther away, the easier it is to work with. It will often dissolve easily and like a fizzling cartoon bomb fuse you can follow it into the heart of a problem as it dissolves and then *boom* - a few firework and problem solved

So many blocks, I actually think I am doing this - don't know. I'm following "blockages along". I go where it takes me to actually resolve the block. This can be in the same spot, or this can shift to another place. I'm not sure this is what you mean.

What I do not understand - what layers are we talking about? The layers of a blockage? The layers of your whole being? I have lost the reference point here.

Sorry, I can't resist a good metaphor I just loved the onion image you used. I thought I was using it in the same way - the whole body is the onion - you clean it up layer by layer, starting from the skin and going inward. The movement from outside to inside is parallel to the movement from bottom to top. Maybe this is its "holographic" nature. In any case, the spine is at the center of the onion. Once the previous layers are all clear, the same dissolution process begins there automatically ie "kundalini" (or "bhanga" in buddhist terminology - "bhanga" means: dissolution). Working like this, there's certainly no need to concentrate on the base of the spine to try to forcefully induce the process. I'd certainly never ever recommend anything like that. The most hideous stuff in your mind is down there. Why stir it up? Better to let it happen naturally.

I have never felt compelled to emphasize a spot more over others when following my practice naturally. I just go to the spots that "want attention" as they arise.

The first three days of a ten day course are spent observing breath at the entrance of the nostrils. With three days of this - which is usually quite a maddening roller-coaster ride in itself - the mind gets sufficiently calmed and concentrated enough to feel vibrations wherever you place your awareness - ie, RB's "tactile imaging" motions - stirring, brushing, etc - become unnecessary. The mind is sharp enough that it can just feel them. So, on the fourth day you take your concentrated point of awareness away from your nostrils and start moving it from head to foot, exploring, dissolving, observing - so starts the process.

After I got beyond a certain point of applying technique I never lost this awareness again. I think trying to concentrate on a primary meditation focus does this to you "after some time". There were actually times I wished I could ignore this. But now I'm glad. The equanimity has to grow, and then it is just fine.

Working like this with uninterrupted continuity, it's not long till the first bhanga experience, which in turn shakes up a whole new level of even deeper defilements, and you really have your work cut out for you to continue with the process.

In my case 4 years went by between the first and second bhanga or "kundalini" experiences, steadily working in the same way the whole time. Maybe this corresponds to the distinction made in terms of kundalini of "waking" vs "raising", I don't know. In the interim I thought the first experience was a fluke and actually unconnected with, or at least tangential to, the real work of purification, which kept going. But after 4 years I got a surprise when the k. process started up again spontaneously, and this time in full force: without even knowing, I'd been working steadily towards it the whole time!

I know those moments when everything seems clear and the next day it seems like there is even more work to be done. That was quite frustrating until one day I realised I was really working a deeper layer and it was different stuff I was working on. In between I get shivers and spontaneous events, but nothing as strong as you report. It is very interesting to hear that.

Which is what brought me back here to have another look at RB and these forums. It really all is the same process, I think, one that can be very aptly referred to as a process of "dissolution", at successively more refined levels. (NB the proper sanskrit term for "kundalini yoga" is "laya yoga" - "laya" means "dissolution".)

However, equanimity is the key ingredient in dealing with what is stirred, and also for finding the subtle stuff. I think enough people stumble over this dissolution aspect from time to time without knowing, and the ups and downs make no sense then ("I thought I was doing fine").

If this isn't always apparent, it's only because everyone really *does* need to re-invent the wheel for himself. Your conception of what you are actually inventing may vary along the way, but at the end you will have created the genuine thing all by yourself out of your own experience.

Real wheels can't be borrowed or bought - they have to be invented

That's a good picture.

Oliver

[Korpo]

Hello, seankerr123.

I want to discuss an earlier posting of yours.

IME, dwelling on painful blocked areas is actually the least effective way to deal with them though. They'll quickly overpower you and make your mind grosser so it can no longer feel the prevailing subtle flow on the rest of the body. TRYING to remove blockages destroys the equanimity which is your real tool to remove them. Best way to let them dissolve is to keep working systematically through the whole body. In vipassana you keep sweeping head to feet and feet to head - not too different from RB's full body circuit. You pass your awareness through "blocked spots", maintaining your equanimity, and *keep moving*. Once you reconnect with the hands or feet a good deal of tension often gets discharged. With repeated passes, even the nastiest of sankharas gets eliminated.

How fast do you sweep?

I applied this while lying down. I softly kept going up and down my body, releasing soft and warm energies (I was very relaxed) wherever I could find them. It was very interesting. I'm amazed I never read of the technique you described above, though, even though you say this is standard Vipassana procedure?

But progress in this context involves bringing deeper, nastier things up as much as it involves getting rid of them. They have to surface in order to dissolve, so at times it seems like your practice is increasing your pains and at times decreasing them. Both parts constitute progress though

I've found over the years that it's the speed of this process that indicates progress. I used to sit for hours with the pains or passions that would come up. Now even very heavy things come up and pass away quite rapidly.

You described to me the phases of dissolving a blockage - how do you perceive them when you don't focus on a blockage? Do you feel them in relation to the rest of you - "dissolution into the rest" - or is it still a distinct feeling of focussed awareness on the specific spot?

Be well,
Oliver

[seankerr123]

How fast do you sweep?

Sorry, rereading what I'd written, it's actually pretty misleading. Vipassana does use a "sweeping" technique, but this is only: at times when everything is dissolved inside; through parts of the body where everything is dissolved; or when some stuff is coming up (ie blockage like areas) but you can still feel an undercurrent of subtle vibrations flowing underneath it. At all other times, you're told to work "part by part", working on blocked or blind areas for a minute or two before moving on.

It's not a cut and clear graduation from part by part to free-flow, since the free flow will start bringing up deeper things (and the mind is also getting subtler so that it can penetrate to deeper layers) - so you work part by part or with free flow according to the kind of situation you encounter, which keeps changing.

I think lots of techniques get taught in the name of Vipassana. This is the "Goenka standard"

The actual "insight" element, which makes it dental work and not just plumbing, is regarding "vibration" as a sign of impermanence. Ie, rather than speak in terms of "energy", vibration is thought of as perceiving the swift arising and passing away of matter. The first stage of insight knowledge is experiencing udaya-vaya "arising and passing away", ie perception of matter's inherent vibration (RB would say "feeling energy"). The second stage is "bhanga" (RB: kundalini), in which the "passing away" becomes predominant. 7 or 8 more "milestones" follow.

So the vibration is viewed as inherent in all matter - your whole body IS vibrating, that table is vibrating - and it's only a matter of making your mind subtle enough to perceive it. So in this context things like "raising energy" and "stimulating the energy body" really don't even make sense. Rather you're "seeing through" the solidity.

It was tough to sort this out initially, coming from NEW.

So from perception of vibration you get perception of impermanence and from that you get equanimity, and from that you get the dissolution process - and there's your "Insight" in action.

You described to me the phases of dissolving a blockage - how do you perceive them when you don't focus on a blockage? Do you feel them in relation to the rest of you - "dissolution into the rest" - or is it still a distinct feeling of focussed awareness on the specific spot?

Again, sorry - you do. You pause at blocked spots along the way for a minute or two. If there are no blocked spots you sweep till something comes up.

Aggressive muck-stirring, you might say

[Korpo]

Ah, okay.

That's what I tried for a few sessions. It was quite interesting.

What I did was this: I went down from top, spending a little time at each block, entering, dissolving, trying to feel sensations as they arise. If things get bogged down, I move on. When I reached the fingertips or toes a rush of that loose energy "dumped", rushed out and left me.

I can see how this prevents getting caught in blockages, as every time I seem to get caught in something I start directing my breath to move on. The breath also seems to stay more subtle, though it is a bit early to say that.

In general - I like it. It ties in very nicely with the variations in the breath I tried out lately.

Thank you,
Oliver

PS - Is there reading material related to this available?

[Korpo]

PS -

The technique is IMO identical to "Outer Dissolving" except that Bruce Frantzis recommends only doing downward sweeps: Start at top, dissolve down your body, end below feet, repeat. He considers this as a safety measure to avoid problems with bringing energy up / rising energy. He recommends building a strong downward current and a healthy nervous system first before doing the upward current.

Interestingly he recommends to do this technique standing. This not only opens most of the body's tissues, it also provides a steady source of sensations as gravity works the body stronger. It avoids dozing off and builds health faster for prolonged sitting later. It also eases dropping energy. A neutral standing posture, called Wu Ji (empty) stance, is preferred, but a master can assign a different stance to help development of the student.

Oliver

[seankerr123]

When I reached the fingertips or toes a rush of that loose energy "dumped", rushed out and left me.

My experience also.

PS - Is there reading material related to this available?

As far as instructions, these are only available in audio format during the 10 day courses, due to the view that it's not a process you'd want to initiate outside of a safe, "insulated" environment. Which is actually quite prudent. I know I spent half the night wandering the compound in tears the day I learned Vipassana, and cried every time I sat to meditate the following day!

As for overview and discussion, there's a very nice book called "Art of Living" by William Hart. Also a collection of essays from a more psychological pov by a psychologist named Paul Fleischman, called "Karma and Chaos". Hmm and other than that, several publications that as far as I know are only available at Vipassana Centers, or maybe at pariyatti.com.

The technique is IMO identical to "Outer Dissolving"

But, Korpo, wouldn't this imply that it becomes just plumbing again? So much emotional content comes up. The idea is just to stay firmly rooted in the sensation aspect of whatever comes up because if you focus on the mental side of the coin it will sweep you away. Every emotion that comes up in the mind comes up with some sensation on the body. By sticking resolutely to the sensation you can dissolve countless emotional complexes, till it becomes clear that what we call observing body is actually nothing but observing mind. Sensation is at the juncture of the two. It's not strictly physical (since it's a perception), but it's not strictly mental, either. In fact it's the point of contact between mind and matter. But to effect the "dissolution" of the mental material, you have to stay firmly rooted in its physical counterpart. That's my understanding of it, at least.

He recommends building a strong downward current and a healthy nervous system first before doing the upward current.

It's true, I know in courses if students are getting themselves into more than they can handle, they sometimes recommend sticking with only the downward direction. So there must be something to it.

Interestingly he recommends to do this technique standing.

Interesting! I'm going to try this, but at first glance, I would think it wouldn't allow the relaxation process to deepen enough so you can work at a really deep level. Wouldn't you just fall over?
On the other hand, it'd be a great way to learn to integrate deeper meditative states into waking, walking life.

Take care,
Sean

[Korpo]

The technique is IMO identical to "Outer Dissolving"

But, Korpo, wouldn't this imply that it becomes just plumbing again? So much emotional content comes up. The idea is just to stay firmly rooted in the sensation aspect of whatever comes up because if you focus on the mental side of the coin it will sweep you away. Every emotion that comes up in the mind comes up with some sensation on the body. By sticking resolutely to the sensation you can dissolve countless emotional complexes, till it becomes clear that what we call observing body is actually nothing but observing mind. Sensation is at the juncture of the two. It's not strictly physical (since it's a perception), but it's not strictly mental, either. In fact it's the point of contact between mind and matter. But to effect the "dissolution" of the mental material, you have to stay firmly rooted in its physical counterpart. That's my understanding of it, at least.

Ah, there is another misunderstanding - sensations in the body lead into the energy. Sensations arise where the body is blocked, as the normal free flow of energy is almost sensationless and subtle. So the blockage is the sensation, and from the sensation and the blockage and the mental reaction to it thoughts arise.

It's a block. It is felt by an inner sense. The emotions and sensations of all kinds tie into one another at different levels of vibration and subtlety. I get nervous and I feel a lump in my stomach. That's rather physical. But if I dissolve into that area I also find the more general nausea, which is more etheric. It is already a pure sensation compared to something physical. Beyond that I find emotional reactions - by tracing it back from the physical root into the more subtle, step by step. As they intertwine, I cycle through different sensations, each related to another, at various subtleties, as I untie those knots until there is only space.

Surely that is not plumbing, but dentistry!

Interestingly he recommends to do this technique standing.

Interesting! I'm going to try this, but at first glance, I would think it wouldn't allow the relaxation process to deepen enough so you can work at a really deep level. Wouldn't you just fall over?
On the other hand, it'd be a great way to learn to integrate deeper meditative states into waking, walking life.

The deeper meditation is usually done sitting. But the standing allows to gather more experience with sensations. Expending the minimal, effortless effort for standing that happens at very fine relaxation saves you from falling asleep. Only if the body falls asleep this minimal conscious effort gets taken away. It lives at the border between wake and sleep and can save you from becoming too relaxed to stay aware.

Oliver

[Korpo]

As far as instructions, these are only available in audio format during the 10 day courses, due to the view that it's not a process you'd want to initiate outside of a safe, "insulated" environment. Which is actually quite prudent. I know I spent half the night wandering the compound in tears the day I learned Vipassana, and cried every time I sat to meditate the following day!

I have a different view on this - this is precisely what I *expect* to happen in an insulated environment with days of meditation on end in someone who isn't familiar with it. It sounds more like a shock reaction, the person overwhelmed by what comes up at once. I don't see that as a bonus point for a practice - you actually, without knowing - pushed your way through to a very powerful state of perception and then had to deal with the outcome.

In Daoist meditation, you would not sit that much in a day or a week as a beginner. You would unravel the coarse things until the coarse things are understood. You then become more subtle. At no time more than one can handle comes up, no emotional outbreaks, no crying, cathartic experiences. It seems plain and ordinary precisely because I never ever (if you do it right and don't overdo it - which is a prime instruction) go beyond capacity.

This in fact postpones the emotional work quite a bit, but it naturally arose in my practice and got part of it. No rushes, no floods, just things that drop and fall away.

Let me explain why I think it is this way:

I had done the dissolving process for half a year. I entered a period when suddenly mood swings would happen after energy work. I had bouts of hilarity, sad, angry, disassociated moods, etc. These phenomena arised for a short time after a session. It took me a while to notice it was happening. Then I made the link that they are indeed related to practice, then I realised I had to ground better. I finally realised that I started to directly work emotional energies. However, the phenomena were quite limited, I could see their unfolding, could analyse, correct and expand my practice and continue as before, only on a wider range of energetical phenomena. I am working "bottom up" in this, and as of then I started to venture between the emotional, etheric and physical layers, back and forth. I skip across this spectrum with this new-found skill and dissolve what I encounter, just as I did before with only the physical and etheric. My capacity rose mostly in a linear progess, and the "quantum leap" between these phenomena was rather small and handleable, and happening softly and without much fanfare on its own.

Now, *if* I had gone and sat for pro-longed times and just had gone beyond what my initial capacity is in a several-day intensive I would have pushed beyond my current capacity, and then would have been flooded. These emotional outbreaks would have been much worse - in my case I had disassociation in mild forms - I would feel uncomfortable and slightly unreal when I looked at myself in the mirror. I would have a bout of hilarity that would be a bit out of my norm, but would subside. I would be suddenly sad or angry. Now multiply these phenomena tenfold or more as the nervous system is flooded with a much bigger deal of them and you have bouts of crying, extreme disassociation, anger bouts, depressive episodes, etc. I could not have handled these at all, I know that.

Imagine such a big shock driving you into the next level, where you can just weather the storm. These cathartic "bring it on" experiences are IMO the premature Kundalini raisings, and are not sought in this Daoist practice. Kundalini pour-outs are cathartic events, IMO. I think if it happens dramatically, it is the removal of a natural safety catch to let it all blow out.

In my case, equanimity slowly grew over time, and so did practice time, understanding in the underlying phenomena, what I feel, what I perceive, what I can handle, what I can let go of. At times where I went beyond this my system started to go into mood swings and other undesirable phenomena, and all I can do is adapt my techniques, understand more, learn to discern more subtle phenomena, learn to work the blockage more skillfully, learn anew the point I can go to without losing the soft touch of equanimity. I learned to re-focus the sense touch, re-focus the breath, and most slowly of all, I learn when to go on and when to finally stop.

Right as I sit here writing this, I finished a session in which I shed stuff all over my body. There is a point at which I have clearly felt exhausted. This is my mental capacity to dissolve. This is the place to stop. I could have forced myself to go on, but it is the same feeling you ignore, the same quality you push away when you overeat. It is an internal boundary that demarks the limit where effort leads to strain. All that I would do now would carry a bigger and bigger price tag in terms of unbalancing, overstraining and mental fatigue. I can sense this limit, and I cannot see how I could handle a multi-day course where I meditated after this happened.

Be well,
Oliver

[Korpo]

Just wanted to report that I succeeded in dealing with a good deal of the big bad blocks that caused the problem. Scalp, forehead, face, sinuses, temples, back of head, neck - it worked quite well. I readjusted my technique for dissolving, refocussed, experimented with different applications of the breath, took in seankerr123's suggestions, improved the grounding component, and generally re-read and re-listened to my meditation instructions until I fine-tuned my practice into something that worked for it. I guess the time was ripe for it.

Oliver