CF,

Fear creeping up during a Kundalini process you ask for for example is not a sign of "that you cannot handle it." Instead it is a sign that the process works into the deeper layers of you, confronting your "less conscious layers".
I realize this, it's that every time I ask for it I think I'm ready to deal with it and it always surprises me. I think I've thought of everything and the awareness reminds me that I'm not even started. It is quite amazing.

You cannot expect to shine a light of awareness unto something and not experience it. You have to come to terms with it somehow. You can ask for a different speed of progress and you can experiment with what you think you can handle, and the speed will determine impact and intensity. You actually get what you ask for.
I do, which is why this process is so bittersweet. For example, for the past few days I've been emotionally vulnerable, and in a 'mind fog' that truly surprised me. The mind fog is lifting, these new insights about myself (that just cropped up) are something new that I didn't realize. Now, I get it- at the time, it was surprising in many levels.
By handling it, I mean being able to live in the 'everyday world' while processing all that came up, some completely surprising. Plus I've had a headache ever since that hasn't yet lifted.
But that's ok, it'll pass.