Worried and need some answers

Ely · 10th June 2008, 04:28 AM

hello again, I have a situation in my house that has really got me concerned. My boyfriend has always had issues with sleep. I called them night terrors as he would wake up disorientated and having visual hallucinations and be very frightened. I have spoken to him at length about OBE's in the course of our relationship and he thinks I'm just crazy. Recently his "hight terrors" have gotten worse. For the last month they seem to be starting about 20-30 min after he falls asleep. He wakes up panicked and disoriented and looks at his hands (always his hands) and says he doesn't know whats happening to him, just that he has tingly sensations running thru his arms and sometimes his legs. three weeks ago I had to call 911 because he was completely out of it and trembling all over. They ran blood work, EEG, EKG, MRI, CT scan and nothing. I really believe in my heart that hes having exit sensations, he describes the same feelings that I used to get when I didn't know what was happening to me (surprisingly the exit sensations lessen considerably when you know its OBE and look forward to a little trip) This poor man is so afraid and I don't know how to help him. Hes considering taking ativan or xanax. It has happened every single night for the past three weeks and I'm afraid hes going to give himself a heart attack. I feel somewhat guilty because the episodes have become more severe and frequent after I suggested to him a while back that he try to go with them and see what happens. I told him things he might expect to see or hear and I think I may have scared him to death. He's under a great deal of stress and I wonder if that too could have an effect on exit sensations. These do not appear to be anxiety attacks. His vital sighs are normal with none of the palpitations, chest pain or diaphoresis associated with anxiety. He just had another one tonight and said to me that he feels like something is haunting him. I found that really bizarre as he is not one of those ppl open to anything paranormal... He already thinks I'm nuts with my OBE's. Anyone have any suggestions on how i can help him?

**CFTraveler** · 10th June 2008, 08:10 PM

You can approach the situation psychologically, as he may be more open to this approach. Let me try to articulate this:
He is having some frightening and bewildering experiences, and they are affecting his life and sleep patterns.
Obviously, his subconscious is trying to show him something, and he has practically proven to himself that whatever his subconscious is trying to show him isn't going to go away by wishing it away, and by medicating it away either. That's why people go to therapists eventually- they need to talk some stuff out before they cause worse problems regardless of meds.
In his case he is going to have to face what his subconscious is so desperately trying to show him, and he is going to have to deal with whatever he sees, since it's urgent enough that it's causing possible sleep problems. And when sleep deprivation happens psychosis follows. So it can become a bigger problem if he doesn't get a handle on it.
So what can he do? He can start by doing energy work (sponging is one very helpful technique.) I recommend sponging as a defense mechanism, because when he begins to have exit sensations he can return his mental focus to his body and it will give his mind something to do instead of freaking out. This approach is similar to deep breathing exercises that psychologists sometimes give to people with anxiety (and sometimes panic) attacks. Once he gets a handle on sponging (which would be the only type of energy work that I would recommend- no energy raising please) he can get control of the vibrations by 'sponging into them'- giving him control of them as opposed to 'being a victim to them'. Then he can decide if he wants to cultivate this or not. But this will give him some measure of control, which is very important to someone who is feeling very much out of control of their own body, energy or otherwise.
I also recommend that he read Stephen LaBerge's works on Lucid Dreaming- it will take the mystery out of how the mind works so he doesn't feel like he's going crazy and it'll take the mystery out of the whole experience, without the 'mystery' of OBE, which is probably what is bothering him. Mystery=Lack of control.
Think of it like this- here is a guy that doesn't believe in anything extra-physical, and all of a sudden, he's having experiences he doesn't welcome, that he can't seem to control. His whole foundation is 'shaking under him'. No wonder he's scared.
So teach him energy work, explain why (give him control of his experience) and it may even stop the experiences until he's psychologically ready for them.
Good luck.

Ely · 10th June 2008, 11:51 PM

Thank you so very much. After I posted last night I went in to check on him, and as I entered the room her sat up and said to me. "I told them zero zero zero and zero zero." I said "what are you talking about." Then he lay back down and didn't say another word. This AM he said he doesn't know what he was taking about so he was obviously dreaming. Poor man, I do feel so very sorry for him. He has been calling for me when these happen so I take it as a sign that he's opening up to things, and at least trusts me to help him through it. I'll share with him your post and work with him on the sponging and let you know how things go.

Thanks
Ely

Fish · 11th June 2008, 11:53 AM

Good luck Ely!

Ely · 16th June 2008, 05:53 PM

Update....
He seems to be doing much better. It's kinda funny, but when he goes to bed and I'm not around, he has my dog go in the room with him. He's always heard me say that shes my familiar and protects me in both realms. You can never truly know the impact of your words both good and bad, until something happens. All the times I thought he blew me off it seems he was really listening. He has been trying to focus his energy differently and I think it has helped with the fear. Thanks again for the great advice. Four days now and no problems. I don't bring it up much. I want him to work things out and not feel pressured. All in all his sleeping soundly has been a blessing and I can finally get some rest too. Just to share real quick.... My last couple exit attempts haven't gone well with him holding onto me while he sleeps. Last one i was not able to exit any part so i stayed in and had the experience of rt while being in. I only used my astral sight not my energy body to see the room so my view was limited. I heard my dog (who was sleeping under the bed) chase after something and run into the kitchen. Not her physical body, that was still asleep, it was her paws scratching on the hardwood floors 90 mph that I was hearing and I was trying to see what she was going after when I heard the most beautiful voice I have ever heard. I cannot describe the sound other than musical and angelic. She called my name, paused a moment and said "don't be scared." I wonder who she was. The dog started to make yelping noises under the bed and I came back to the physical me. I do hope I get to hear from her again.
Ely