Connecting

[sash]

I have a question about how you get to be able to accept a certain thing that happens, someones death for example -- in a spiritual sense.

Besides astral projecting to talk to the spirit of the person who has passed away, is there anything else you could do to be able to accept their death, and be happy (they are happy if they are in another place, but the people that are left behind remain distraught)?

Apologies for the ambiguity, I don't know how else to put this though.


Thanks
Sasha

I have a question about how you get to be able to accept a certain thing that happens, someones death for example -- in a spiritual sense.

Besides astral projecting to talk to the spirit of the person who has passed away, is there anything else you could do to be able to accept their death, and be happy (they are happy if they are in another place, but the people that are left behind remain distraught)?

Apologies for the ambiguity, I don't know how else to put this though.


Thanks
Sasha

Prayer is always good. Always!

I urge you to pray to Blessed Alphonsa of India. Her intercession is very powerful, for she suffered herself. But even if you don't care to pray to her, pray, as God is most merciful...

Blessed Alphonsa, praise the Lord...
For His mercy endures forever!

See Blessed Alphonsa in Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blessed_Alphonsa)…

[CFTraveler]

I have a question about how you get to be able to accept a certain thing that happens, someones death for example -- in a spiritual sense.

Besides astral projecting to talk to the spirit of the person who has passed away, is there anything else you could do to be able to accept their death, and be happy (they are happy if they are in another place, but the people that are left behind remain distraught)?

Apologies for the ambiguity, I don't know how else to put this though.


Thanks
Sasha

Accepting the unacceptable is never easy, and I wouldn't expect it to be. When my father died, he came to me in dreams, and for a while I thought it was my way of coping (which happens to many people.) A few months later he appeared to me in a dream and told me something that I had to do. It turned out to be prophetic. That made me "realize" (or at least believe for a while) that there is no death, perhaps maybe of the "personality"- but not of the "being". Having many OBEs, some which I believe qualify (for me at least) as my consciousness existing out of my body, you'd think that I would be unconcerned at the possibility of losing a loved one. But no, actually I can honestly say that the fear of losing a loved one (don't want to get into personal specifics here) overwhelms me with fear of loss. Interestingly I have never been afraid to die, actually have had times in my life where I look forward to it, but just the thoughts of losing a loved one fills me with fear- so intense it's indescribable.
So you see, I've always considered myself a faithful (if not strictly religious) person, but still, that's one real fear that I have.
So how do you accept? You either do, or you don't, and go though a lot of processing- each person is different- and end up accepting, but never really, because of the conviction that the person isn't really gone, just not here now.
In my life I've had a lot of contact with my dad, in dreams, and a couple of times in the Astral, but I have never really been sure that it was really him, because it was at the itime I was having neg problems, and I think someone was using my emotions to feed there.
It is almost easy to say that in a spiritual sense we should accept what happens, especially if you subscribe to the worldview that things happen because they are supposed to (and I do)- but it doesn't mean you have to like it.
I hope this is only a rethorical question on your part. If it isn't, then God bless you (or the Universe, whatever you believe in) and like Sophroniscus said- pray- it's the most comforting activity there is (at least for me.)

[Apex]

As you know, I very recently lost my mom to cancer. It's been rough lately, trying to deal. The day she left us, it was extremely hard to deal. The next day, it was very hard, the next day it was almost bearable. Today, it's like a lingering ache that's always there.

One of the things that seems to heal is time. I don't know why this works, but it does. For a few days I absolutely refused to think about what happened and distracted myself as much as possible. This seemed to help.

Later, when you feel ready, you can confort what happened. You can do this however you like. It can be seen as the 'turning point' where you accept what has happened and make the choice to move on. Some people never reach this point and are haunted by the memory of the event for the rest of their lives.

My personal goal when I attempt this step is to turn that depressing moment where she left us into a different type of moment. I am certainly not ready to make it a 'cheerful' moment, but maybe I can change it into a moment of acceptance. Hypothetically, then whenever I would think of that moment I'd realize she had done what she was here to do and therefore had moved on. Later I might change it into a different type of moment or event. That's all I know about it right now.

[Jerico]

He's right, time will help the most. If you feel like the person's death was sudden, I know it might be helpful to write a letter to them, address it, put a stamp on it, and store it away. It's something psychologists will sometimes advise to people who are taking an event of death very hard. It gives you a chance to say a few things to that person that you may not have before they left.
There are also a few books out there that may help. But I don't know enough about them to make any recomendations. Take care.

As you know, I very recently lost my mom to cancer. It's been rough lately, trying to deal. The day she left us, it was extremely hard to deal. The next day, it was very hard, the next day it was almost bearable. Today, it's like a lingering ache that's always there.

One of the things that seems to heal is time. I don't know why this works, but it does. For a few days I absolutely refused to think about what happened and distracted myself as much as possible. This seemed to help.

Later, when you feel ready, you can confort what happened. You can do this however you like. It can be seen as the 'turning point' where you accept what has happened and make the choice to move on. Some people never reach this point and are haunted by the memory of the event for the rest of their lives.

My personal goal when I attempt this step is to turn that depressing moment where she left us into a different type of moment. I am certainly not ready to make it a 'cheerful' moment, but maybe I can change it into a moment of acceptance. Hypothetically, then whenever I would think of that moment I'd realize she had done what she was here to do and therefore had moved on. Later I might change it into a different type of moment or event. That's all I know about it right now.

Such things are painful.

I remember when my mother died. I had gone out of town on business. I had spent the day helping my customer -- an electric utility company -- solve some computer problems. When I got back to the hotel where I was staying I turned on the TV, wasting time in mindless entertainment. After some time, the telephone rang. It was my brother, who must have tracked my down through my wife. He told me the bad news. She had been suffering for some time from breast cancer/bone disease. So it wasn't a surprise.

That was back in 1987. I was married with two children. So I didn't have the luxury of being able to grieve over it. Life goes on...

What I remember now most clearly was not the sudden realization when my brother called. Nor was it the funeral. What stands out in my mind is the lonely trip home -- trying to catch an airplane in a strange airport. Walking through the building there were plenty of people going about ordinary tasks, without the slightest idea of my own situation. Perhaps that helped put the whole thing in perspective.

I urge you, once again, to pray to Blessed Alphonsa of India. Her mother died shortly after she was born. So she was brought up and educated by her maternal aunt and her great-uncle. She knew the pain of not having a mother...

[oath]

That was back in 1987. I was married with two children. So I didn't have the luxury of being able to grieve over it

I have had two deaths in my family that I am aware of (I think there was a great grandfather since right after I was born). One a great grandmother and the other my grandpa.

Both deaths did not hit me until further in life. I did not grieve or anything of that sort at the time of occurance, especially for the grandpa as it was a more serious time in my life (I was still quite young). I did not have the time to grieve nor the will, nor the emotion as I had cut myself off from them for reasons which are justified.

As I am on my spiritual path and starting on it, I am occasionally going over old memories (and I have a very good memory! ) [whoah, deja vu] and seeing that 2 deaths are part of them it hits me for the first time, and I feel the pain and sadness for them. After I am done with this sadness, I move on feeling satisfied with myself and continue, no more, no less.

Is anything else affecting said persons sash? such as a depression or other bad news to make them dwell on the subject? perhaps the person (who died) was just a powerful influence?