Suggestions please..

**Neil Templar** · 20th June 2008, 04:46 PM

i have a family member who is stuck in a cycle of depression.every few years he lets everything fall apart,and we (my family and friends) have to pick up the pieces.
it's just happened again, and we're back in the same place, trying to work out why he keeps doing this to himself (and us).
i know it stems from his feeling that his life is worthless, that he hasn't achieved enough, he hasn't lived the right way.
he is totally non-spiritual.
i'm wondering if anyone can recommend any books that could help introduce a spiritual outlook to a person who's never considered it before..
he loves to read, but hates anything remotely "preachy".. any suggestions folks?

**CFTraveler** · 20th June 2008, 07:53 PM

When you say preachy, do you mean religious-preachy, or 'bossy' preachy?

**Neil Templar** · 21st June 2008, 01:26 AM

mean religious preachy. but bossy would be just as bad.
i'm talkin about a stuck-in-his ways, too proud for his own good, 60 something year old man...
i guess i'm looking for something to open his eyes a bit, without too much emphasis on any religion as such.

it was only my own interest in knowing myself spiritually, that allowed me to end my own cycles of self destructive behaviour.
i'd love to be able to help him turn that corner too..

**CFTraveler** · 21st June 2008, 05:48 PM

I'll have to think about that one.

**Neil Templar** · 21st June 2008, 06:28 PM

a bit of a random request i know...

**ButterflyWoman** · 22nd June 2008, 07:49 AM

I'm currently reading "Ask and It Is Given" by Abraham-Hicks. It's a bit on the New Agey side, so I'm not sure how that would go down, but it's not at all religious or preachy. It's a classic in the field of consciousness and conscious manifestation, lots of good advice about emotions and so forth.

I don't know if that would fit the bill, but it might work... ?

Generally, though, people who are prone to depression are incredibly negative thinkers, which is why they get depressed in the first place (been there, done that).

I also have to wonder if this person does this kind of intentionally on some level, specifically so that people WILL come and pick him up and dust him off and fix it all for him. It sounds like an unhealthy and dysfunctional means of getting attention.

Please note that I am in no way saying that people who have depression are at fault (not on any conscious level, anyway!) or that depression is necessarily a means of manipulating people, but for some, it can be that. Mostly they don't even understand that they have a hand in their own condition.

As I said, been there, done that. Spent lots of my life clinically depressed, sometimes very severely so.

**Neil Templar** · 22nd June 2008, 12:46 PM

yeah OW, you're right.
and i've been there myself too. it's difficult to see how much we do it to ourselves while we're in that state, but when we become armed with that knowledge, we can get over that "victim" thing and start making some better choices for ourselves.
that's exactly what i want to get across to him..

i'll check out that book.
thanks

**ButterflyWoman** · 25th June 2008, 10:09 AM

Another to try, not as "new agey" as the other one.

Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting by Lynn Grabhorn

**Neil Templar** · 25th June 2008, 12:55 PM

great,i just got paid so i'm off down to the bookshop for a look.
thanks again ladies.

**Mishell** · 26th June 2008, 09:32 AM

The Hidden Messages in Water by Masaru Emoto. It's about the effect thoughts have on water and therefore the body. It's not preachy, not quite spiritual. But the book is a step in the right direction, especially for those who need to start looking at what what we create for ourselves. Lots of pictures. Beautiful book.