Some sort of emotional feedback loop?

**VioletImagery** · 10th December 2008, 01:14 PM

I witnessed the most bizarre thing on Monday, which I feel I may have inadvertently triggered somehow. I was complaining mildly (not being too emotional or anything) about my supervisor and about the difficulties being a female in engineering to another girl (R.) that I had recently met. I guess it was sort of an attempt to bond with her and it was going fine...until her good (male) friend S. entered the conversation (who I know, but not very well). He offered me some advice on how to present myself to the more prejudiced members of the 'old boys club', which I thought was relevant, I certainly wasn't offended or anything, but then R. started to become very emotional and said that I would never be able to get anything done because they would never take me seriously and I would never finish my project and I would go crazy and hate myself forever!!! and broke down into tears and ran out of the room. So, I guess this is a touchy subject for her, but I had not gotten that sense at all earlier. S. immediately ran out of the room after her to comfort her (I get the sense that he does that a lot, although they are definitely not dating). I waited a bit before going out to see what was going on mostly because I was so stunned by the suddenness of it. So when I went out there, it got even weirder. She couldn't seem to stop crying and he was clumsily attempting to comfort her/reason with her and getting more and more upset himself. The emotions just seemed to flow back and forth between without dissipating, just getting stronger. To me it seemed like reality was getting distorted and it was like two real people had suddenly taken on bad movie roles and actually became the characters. They even started to look 2-dimensional to me. I realized she (claimed to be) upset with him because she thought he'd been too hard on ME. Of all the people there, I was the least upset! I felt that since it was my little rant that had triggered this thing (whatever it was), I ought to break it up. I tried to explain that I appreciated both of their inputs to the conversation and that I didn't have a problem with either of them, but it didn't seem to be having any effect until I instinctively put my hand on R.'s shoulder (I am not a touchy-feely type person at all and I would usually never do that to someone I had just met) and then something sort of went 'click' and the world seemed normal again. And R. started to interact with S. like he was just a guy again and not some larger-than-life character. Poor S. was totally confused, but it was just his normal shyness again.

What happened? Anyone have any thoughts on this from an astral perspective? I'm still new to the metaphysical aspects of these things. Thanks!

--Kelsey

**CFTraveler** · 10th December 2008, 02:11 PM

First of all, I can empathize with your situation. I worked in electronics for 18 years and in a managing position for 12 or so, and found that if it doesn't destroy you it toughens you up. I think you'll be all right.
But to the metaphysical perspective: I think your little group fell into an egregore, (aka tulpa) which is athoughtform entity formed from a persistent group dynamic. I'll bet you dollars to donuts that the emotional content in her (damsel in distress due to perceived injustice, and the knight in shining armor reaction he had) activated it, and they 'fell in' their prescribed roles. You were probably in there as well, since it's not the first time a strong female takes a leadership role. It's a weird situation when you don't know what's happening.
In the typically (or formerly typically make dominated) engineering community chances are that the scenario you witnessed has been played out enough times by different participants to feed it. In your case, awareness of the tulpa may shield you from participating in the drama, but since I can't imagine you telling your coworkers about it, I don't know how else to handle it.
Good luck.
ps. if my explanation wasn't descriptive enough, the terms tulpa and egregore and thoughtforms should be found in the AD pedia, hopefully with links to more varied discussion or definitions regarding them.

**VioletImagery** · 10th December 2008, 05:32 PM

Thank you very much for the informative response, CFTraveler! I looked up all the terms and I believe you are right as to what was happening. Whoa, it was weird though! I will be on the lookout for that in the future, but what can I do to help S. and R.? I wish to be friends with them (we are all fellow graduate students, so it is easier be closer than just co-workers, I think), but I don't want to get caught up in that dynamic all the time. And I don't think they like it very much either, even though I don't think they realized what was going on. Plus...I kinda like S. if you know what I mean, lol,

Oh right, I forgot to mention. I was attuned to Reiki Level I the day before this happened. Is that why touching her 'broke the spell'? Or possibly some effect of the 'cleansing process' that I was/am (supposedly) going through is what triggered it in the first place? Or the Reiki helped me at least distance myself from it? Or Reiki had nothing to do with it whatsoever?

Thanks!

--Kelsey

**CFTraveler** · 10th December 2008, 08:10 PM

I couldn't tell you- but I think awareness is key to 'snap out of it', and it's possible that the awareness work you've done while Reiki training may have helped you recognize that 'something' was 'off'. I'm not sure what you can do with the others, except to bring up the psychological aspect of it up in the most appropriate way (how role assignment becomes prevalent in society, including some specific parts of the subculture, in this case the engineering/technological (or whatever your field is) community. You can say that you've seen the scenario enact itself before with other people, and did they notice they were falling into preassigned roles? Frankly I'm not sure how you can possibly fit that into a normal conversation. Oh well, that's all I have.

**VioletImagery** · 11th December 2008, 01:03 AM

Originally Posted by CFTraveler

Frankly I'm not sure how you can possibly fit that into a normal conversation.

Well, none of the conversations that I've been having lately are exactly what one could call 'normal'...

...and S. did actually bring up the incident today, looking for my opinion, I think, so he must know something wasn't 'quite right' either. I didn't feel like I could say much about it though, especially any of the more 'out there' interpretations, since we were in a room full of other people. I think I will let it go for now unless something else comes up (which I think will happen sooner or later). You are right, even aside from the metaphysical implications, it is not really a casual subject.

Thanks!

--Kelsey