Hello everyone,
I haven't posted here yet, just trying to read and learn. I've been onto the neg problem in my life for about two years now, but I feel as lost as a newbie when trying to understand what is really going on. I've never seen or heard anything concrete, like shadows or ghosts or anything like that, I just feel things. I'm onto certain patterns in my life which I think is the neg trying to break me down. I'm a happy person and part of me has been trying to ignore the neg or negs, partly because I'm not sure how to handle the situation. I'm at a place in my life where I am ready to go to the next step, but I'm scared. I've used a few passive countermeasures, but I don't know how to really fight the neg and feel alone. For the past two months (out of years), it has been nice, no energy drain or dreaming patterns. I thought this was because I've been praying for a blessing so I can move forward in life (I'm pregnant, trying to build a straw bale house, etc), but for the past week, I've felt a negative change. The patterns seem to be starting again. I don't want to ramble on about these patterns because the post would be very long, but there is one I'll mention because I think I'm onto something here and could use other's opinions on it. I believe the main neg problem comes from my father-in-law and has been passed down to him by his mother, and so forth. He is an alcoholic, at his worst times, he'll drink a 30 pack a day. His wife is a teacher and he quits drinking when she's home for summer and holidays and tries to quit every time she goes back to work, so far it has never worked, he always starts drinking again. Anyway, he picks on me. I had to stop answering the phone when he calls because calls me while he's drunk and tries to fight with me and says perverted things. This past Christmas holiday, he quit drinking as usual, but his doctor also said he has to quit because he is killing himself, borderline diabetes, cholesterol and heart problems. He has been on this health trip trading in the huge bowls of ice cream and cookies for raw vegetables and fruit juice. So today something different happened. I had to go to his house this morning alone but to my relief he wasn't there. But when I walked through the door all the shades were closed and there was a disgusting smell kind of like rotting sausage and my four-year-old didn't want to be inside. I got what I needed and left. Two hours later, he calls. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and answered it. The same pattern has started, I could tell he had been drinking and he was asking me nosey questions, that's how it always starts. He wasn't mean yet, the next call might be, but I'm not answering it. Anyway, here's my question. Can a neg feed off of him and use that energy against me and my family? It's hard to describe but the air is so thick around me and so sudden after the wonderful energy I've been feeling the past couple of months, it seems to have an outside source. I'm not sure where to go from here, ignoring it seems to only provide temporary relief. I would truly appreciate input on this, I have an open mind about it. I've never asked anyone about this, I am so private about it.