a seeker's projection journal

[CFTraveler]

Your anima is very powerful, and running the show. It's working for you, and what you learned back in school is now serving you in new ways, ways you didn't even thought would happen.
My interpretation.

[amazingjourney]

I think you are totally intuitive CF! You are right on!

This is exactly how I have been feeling and am so amazed by how things turn out. Being able to do what I do now at my work and in my field really is the result of everything I have been working so hard to do. It is a life long endeaver. I certainly did not expect how far I was able to achieve!

Before the position change, I did all of a sudden have a few dreams about graduation, receiving certificate, or receiving recognition. And it is strange, right after the position change, dreams of this nature stopped, like they have done foretelling the upcoming change.

"Powerful", empowering, and free, are the things I feel the most right now!

[amazingjourney]

5/9/09

I was in a dream with my coworker. Somehow I went back to my childhood bedroom in my birth country. I forget how the dream went because as soon as I become aware of the fact that I was dreaming, I forgot about what took place earlier and didn't have any recall.

The only thing I still remembered was that I was in that room and was closing my bedroom door. As I turned the door, I noticed that there were a lot of dirt on the wall in front of me. I took a really good look and couldn't believe my eyes. Where did these come from. I have never saw these before. As my vision turned, the dirt extended to the ceiling. I was like this can't be. Then this familiar realization whenever I become lucid in the dream came over me. I started to realize this is just a dream.

I was like what do I want to do now. I tried to think very hard. I needed to do something now. All I remembered was to get OBE from there. So I started to will myself trying to go to other places. But I didn't really think of a place to go. As I will myself, I started to feel my heart pounding so fast as if an engine in me was turned on, and felt like I was taking off. But then I became conscious of being in my bed and woke up.

After waking up, my heart still pounded so fast that I was like whoa, is this what happened to me every time before obe?

[amazingjourney]

5/9/09

Then this familiar realization whenever I become lucid in the dream came over me. I started to realize this is just a dream.

Also at this point, the room I was in seemed to turn to the color red. This happened to me before too. Sometimes when I am in that half awake half asleep state, the color of the surrounding changes to a different color. I was wondering if this has to do with the different bodies we are in. If I see color red, maybe I am in the etheric body?

Before I fell unconscious during sleep, I remembered there were the swishing sound out of nowhere as if wind blowing.

[amazingjourney]

Hi,

I haven't been written on websites for a long time now due to the promotion at work, being made the director of the program. I have been swamped day in and day out ever since, system building, just going through a week long federal team review, trying to lead a group of 30+ uncounscious staff. All of my energy is exhausted on this effort.

In the global awakening schim of things, outer purpose is another layer of responsibility we have. Often times, when we try to bring out the authentic inner purposes into the outer world, that's when we are faced with challenges. I see my lead role in my community as the responsbonsibility to bring change to the surroundings.

The other thing is I was hesitating about the pursuit of progress in experiences, which can be a trap and danger that can be distracting from what really matters. I found that by doing the sharing, I quickly take on an ego I am attached to.

I found that in induced OBE, I need to focus intense intention in having one. Intention is one very important ingredient. SOmetimes intention even turns into desire. With desire, this is a conflict from grounding in my own truth.

But in spontaneous OBE resulted from a grounded inner self, it's pleasant surprise and then I don't get attached to it. From my experience, these are two different paths.

I have accumulated many dreams and experiences in my recorder and haven't written them down. My intention is to ground and connect with that authentic self, which I did before. Whehter there is an OBE or not, it will be seen as a by product.

[amazingjourney]

11/22/09

Yesterday during the day while walking in the woods, I felt vibration in my thigh and thought " Just want to make sure this is not my cell phone, since I am not even carrying it. " This vibration went on and off the whole day.

Last night I became aware in the middle of the night. I forgot what I was thinking, but my consciousness was in my body. All of a sudden a strong vibration started in my belly area and then quickly spread through out my whole body. I knew I was going to separate.

So my energy body floated up. I did the usual flip to the side of the bed to see if I hang in the air. I did without falling. But I probably flip with too much force, my energy ody almost touched the floor. So I am sinking into the floor and somehow floated into under the bed. My vision was blur and the room was dark. I got to see the wood frame under the bed and felt weird. I got uncomfortable and got sucked back to my body through the bed.

When I came back to my body, I can still feel the strong vibration all over. I knew I could separate again, but now I felt I got to use the bathroom.

[amazingjourney]

This afternoon I had a short projection and false awakening.

My cat was nestling next to me. I was sleepy, and wasn't sure if I did fall asleep. In a while, I felt a pool of energy in my belly and the familiar sensation came. I knew I could shoot up. So up I was out of my body. But then quickly was sucked back in. I will it again and now was floating. This time I tried rolling side to side. But it felt something different in the way---it's my cat. I rolled to the other side, but it's not the usual side that I am out.

Now I am aware to still be lying there on my bed. From here I thought I was awake already and moved around on my bed and shoo away my cat and had changed my position to sleep on my side. Finally I woke up and surprised that all the time I didn;t move a bit from my original position, and my cat was still next to me too.

A pre-cognitive dream--

I wanted to share a pre-cognitive dream from a while ago. It is only when things happened now that I realized that dream has foretold the future.

They are making me the director. Everyone gathered in our program for the ceremony. The branch VP, my boss is here but I don’t really see her. Some central people I never see showed up too, including the big VP of the agency. Some told staff already that I am the director. I don’t know what happen in the ceremony but finally they just directly told me to see the few people. I didn’t really saw the branch VP. The few central people who I never saw before told me that I will.

(I am relative new and haven’t formally met the agency heads in this largest agency in New England. However, the dream has fore told the changes in the agency that involved the agency VP and the branch VP. It was strange that the agency VP, not the agency president, was there in that ceremony in my dream.

A few weeks later, the news came that the agency president was retiring. He then past away suddenly right after. The agency VP then was made the president. So it makes sense that the agency VP would be the big boss when I made the director.

Another thing strange is that I didn’t really see our branch VP in that dream, who was supposed to be the announcer. Just last Thursday, she was promoted to the agency VP, which means she will no longer be my direct supervisor.)

I have to go over to a gathering and the few of us took a route. Enroute I saw a coworker who has supported me and was the essential person pushing for me to be the director. She was on vacation and was on the floor laying around in an apartment. I happily say hi to her. She went into the apartment. It is as if she has done her job and now I need to move on. So We kept going.

There is some type of high up places where we either need to slide down to the lower part to walk over to the field or we have to go beyond a very high cooking stove. Some guy I like was sliding down. I was first and I want him to go before me. He go first and I followed. We arrived at a big field. There is a supervisor watching everyone. The task is to go through obstacle course and then split legs over the barrier. So I started to practice. There are people practicing, running, stretching, splitting their legs. There are many people practicing, and few spaces for me to practice because the practice takes up space.

In real life, there is no time to practice anything. I have to be 110% competent to be the head of the program, and I am.

[amazingjourney]

12/25/09

I was woken up by the sound of my TV and light in the living room coming on. I instantly got worried. What is it? I saw my cat at the foot of my bed becoming alert too. We both got up. While leaving my bed, I noticed that my movement was difficult, feeling like moving in the water. At the time I thought that some energy or entity must have come over me. (After waking up, I reflect on the whole thing and realized that this is one of the symptoms of OBE. But this exit felt different than usual)

I came to the living room and saw the TV turned on and the lamps were on. This can’t be. I tried to turn them off, but they came on again. Then I noticed that a room next door was open. (Why is there a room here? This is new.) I went in there and was intrigued to see a few Chinese people sitting there (my own ethnicity—I have never had experiences involving only people with my own ethnicity. I am from Taiwan.). A guy at the far end was doing something on the wall. I said to them: “oh you guys are fixing the electricity? My light keeps coming on. I was scared.” They didn’t really respond. Then I could feel that these people seemed to keep referring me to another energy/entity, which is invisible or elusive to me. I don’t remember the details here. But one girl here started to communicate with me in some way. I seemed to get the idea that another one of them was causing this and they were a bit troubled. They wanted me to be involved or to help in some way.

That girl and I were leaving the room, going somewhere. I could feel an energy is pushing on my back to direct where I am going. Then I seemed to be able to see a guy with his vague form in the distance. The girl and I seemed to be led to this guy, but I forgot what happened here.

Then the girl and I were going to somewhere else. I seemed to get used to the idea that something is helping us and I feel safe. (In the beginning, it was uneasy because I kept feeling energy pushing/leading me or influencing things to happen) It occurred to me that I could use the energy to fly. So I flew up into the sky, leaving the girl and what happened behind. The night air was cold with a bit of flurry in my face. I flew so fast up and down. It occurred to me that I want to try to jump out of my window to fly out again. Instantly I was back in my room and trying to get out of the curtain and window.

At one point, I returned to that room and those people I met earlier were sleeping. I was asking them some questions. One of the teens listened to me, but then I noticed a fire start in the bed sheet. The teen looked at it without reaction. I beat the bed sheet trying to put out the fire. The teen showed me there was more fire on the other part of the sheet. It burned the edge of the sheet. I don’t know where the fire came from. The teen seemed to be showing me this to be a magical world.

So many details were lost to my recall. At the time, it was so real and the whole thing and details were vivid to me. But then when I realized that I just woke up and tried to remember the whole thing over, many things started to get lost. It feels like what happened was totally in another level of my consciousness and there is no way I could comprehend or recall with the normal consciousness.

I woke up and talked to my recorder and got up for a while and went back to sleep. This time, my deceased father was telling others what his spiritual guide told him, when I wanted to tell him my earlier experience. Then someone showed me a hand cream or cold cream that I have seen in the last experience.

[amazingjourney]

1/24/10

This late afternoon during nap, I had a false awakening.

I became aware of myself lying on the bed, but still felt very sleepy. A woman came to the bedside to talk to me. She felt like my grandma (deceased) or relative. I don't remember what she said. We chatted quite a bit and she wanted me to go somewhere or do something. Then she left.

I continued to lay in bed and very aware of how I felt in my body. The comforter felt very comfortable. I was thinking that later I was going to watch Nature on PBS, but it never occurred to me that I was supposed to do yoga which I usually do in late afternoon.

When I woke up, I was surprised to find the real surrounding of the room, because the room I was in was apparently different, but felt very familiar like another home. The comforter was also different.

[amazingjourney]

I posted this one yesterday but it was not there.
-The restore eliminated anything that was posted yesterday after the restore point.
CF.

2/13/10

I just finished hosting a luncheon where 4 legislators came to speak. It was quiet an experience for me and for my program.

Next week I am going to facilitate a workshop in a citywide event.

A lot is going on at work, I am also recovering from a cold, feeling like no time mindful to be in touch with my inner self for a while.

Last night I seemed to come to a place with a few others. It is a big field, but also with hills. I have forgot most of the details. But there definitely something strange about things and people around me. I remember that these others were on track following a guide high on the top of the hill. I was on that top originally and was walking along. Then I was at the bottom of the hill and was instructed by another guide to climb onto a net, in order to get on the track where others are proceeding toward somewhere.

At one point, the guide was either correcting or instructing me how to throw something or hit a targe.

At the end, I was walking in the field with another mate there. I was expressing to this person this place feels strange. All of a sudden a thought appeared and I burst out to say "this probably is the twilight zone." The person seemed to agree but didnt's say anything. Then I either work up or forgot what happened next.