CFTraveler : I would be glad to tell my story
Thanks for listening.
I grew up a really nerdy kid. I was picked on for most of my life and had very few, if any, friends. Girls wouldn't give me the time of day till i got out of high school. Because of this i grew up feeling very rejected by society and people. I felt that obviously there is something wrong with me since people dont like me. And the few occasions people would talk and be friendly, i would take their actions as being an act of pity.
I was considered a gifted kid in school but i was always close to failing my classes. This is because i hated to do the homework and take notes. I didnt need to do that in order to get perfect scores on my tests. And because i would fail even though i was getting high test scores, i began to hate school even more.
My parents, even though they are good parents, didnt know how to deal with this. They took the "spare the stick, spoil the child" approach. That further made me feel worthless.
Nowadays even though im fairly successful, i have no real deep confidence. What little confidence i do show is faked, just the means to be able to fit in. I feel that even though i have alot to offer, its nothing that anyone wants. This really pains me as ive been single for a long long time. Im not a weird guy. In fact nowadays i can get along with girls just fine. In my adulthood, im attractive. But deep down, im terrified. Ive never asked a girl out, never approached one.
The really big problem is that i hate doing any work. Its not just being lazy. Even things i want to do, i avoid. I have this super strong desire Not to work. Its like i feel that if i do, it will be in servatude of someone else. It will be alot of work for nothing. I feel that it will never be apperciated and even worse belittled.
I feel that if i fail, it will prove how much i really suck.
I dont believe in me.
--ICWiz
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