"My" Story

[Neo]

Well all I can say is I just cut and pasted the entire text here from elsewhere as I feel its more appropriate.(Hence why its in quotation).

I still dont know what to make of it.

I am much further down the path now.

Thoughts welcome!

I have decided to out this experience down because although I have got much much better at deciphiring it a fresh perspective is always good...I have looked at the forum boards different sections and I think this is the best place for it...I havent told too many people about this and even then no one the whole story...I have faith that it wont be looked down upon as a "flight of fancy"...

About ten years ago I have a VERY vivid lucid dream...I was aware that I was in a late night social/party setting...People around me were dancing and it seemed like having a very good time...I then became aware in my minds eye of a literal light/and or presence in the centre of the room...

Then out of nowhere a young women appeared in front of me...(I wont describe her for now as that isnt the point...)

She told me her name was "Urell" and prompltly dissapeared...But I do feel it was a telepathic conveyance...As I dont recall seeing her speak at all...

What the heavens kind of name is that...?Celestial or Ancient Terrestrial...?

One thing I will say is that I awoke with a start and when I did finally return to sleep I have never before or since rested so peacefully...

I am aware there might of been an astral component but nevertheless it has perplexed me for over ten years...

I suppose thats why my "search" began...For alternative truths as this wasnt rational or conventional....

I did have a "forced" awakening in '01 in nearly happened in '00 but I somehow grounded and stopped it...My best guess is that my Kundalini either was awoken or my third eye/crown chackra became aware...Thats an even longer story but its important to mention it as I was very gravely ill...

(Now I know because of the deep breathing exercises that I have been doing its been causings "shifts" which I have been either been picking up whilst asleep or awake...Or I have a very seriously active imagination...Ofcourse I pnly know this now thanks to Micheals's book on "The Great Awakening"...I reccomend it to EVERYONE as I dont think there is anyone that cant learn something...)

Then for last couple of years there are these horrific flashbacks that I have and I am sure this aforementioned lady is the same and is involved in these too...What happens to her isnt good it isnt good at all...

(I honesty I must now confess that when I was "ill" I shouted at the skies and told God to show me everything and I wasnt scared...Unfortunatley I used too much profanity at the absolute and I guess my wish was served only a couple of years later...)

I guess the only thing I can say is as someone somewhere pointed out she is possibly celestial...i myself personally think she is from an earlier civilsation here on Earth...I can also firmly state that these former civilsations then went on into our solar system and deep space...If we have forgotten think about them...

Anyway back to the topic on discussion...

There is a reccurring (although not recentley thank God) "flashback" where by she is dancing at the foot of a mountain wearing what can only be described as traditional Indian clothing...The dance is almost poetic and looks like a cross between ballet/traditional Indian...

To the left is an Ancient Tree (again someone mentioned the tree of life to me...) possibly Cedar/Oak...You can sense she is at peace with herself and her lover/partner...

She is actually "Nordic" its the only way I can put it...Ie Blonde Hair but with green eyes...The can pierce straight through you....

Her partner is actually even more strange he is an Albino...Seems of a "Royal" Lineage....

He has left her to gather some berries/nuts to eat...

He then instinctually knows something is wrong,something is very very wrong...

Out of the Corner of my minds eye i see what can only be described as a disc shaped craft...He gets the sense a real sense these beings are literally pure pure evil...

I cant describe "them" as I cant lock onto that part...

But she is captured and raped continuosly by a number of them that want to make her "submit" freely...She dosent and this only fuels their rage/anger to even higher levels...

She is then violentley beaten up and hung from the tree in what I can only describe as the crucifix position...Upside down...

Did they stop there?....

Heavens no...They then whilst she was still barely alive decided to set her alight to kill her in cold blooded murder...

Her partner/lover returns (and although he wasnt far away the speed/power of these beings is immense...and what seemed like an age passed in seconds...) to see what has transpired...

Understandadly he completley insanity grips him...And he feels a aeon old change come upon him...One he has up until that point successfully tried to control...

All I know is next these beings (who I still cant see/describe) are gloating arrogantly around somewhere near else about what they had done...I think they were a scouting party...

There are hundreds in not thousands of these beings there...

What happens next freaked the hell out of me...Her albino lover (dont ask me how/why) single handedly kills all of them without mercy over the course of the night well into dawn....No one was spared...And whilst these beings have immense power it pails into insignificance compared to his...Absolutley...

He then drinks their blood is some kind of celebration..Vampiric almost and denounces God because of his loss...In fact almost like in Bram Stokers Dracula...(and I have since found out blood carries quite alot of energy...)

I havent since returned to that "dream"...I dont know where it is possibly set or who/what/why/where that albino happeneded to go...His origins or hers but the war seemingly never stopped...

He wanted to wipe out the whole race of these "beings"...(In fact he later does indeed try...And almost suceeds...)

Maybe by doing this I am simply crystalising my thoughts...All I know is it put me under immense pressure last couple of years and it hurt those around me because by not dealing with and trusting those around me everybody suffered...

Meditating deep breathing has helped no end....

But I need to know what happended next....

Anyway I aplogise for writting such a long piece...

The above happend over a period of months in 2005 and since then I battled these creatures everytime I thought about it...

Only very recentley I fought a big blue one with horns and very nearly lost...I then put the Albino through a set of massive "upgrades" and defeated the being...

Its around the sametime I watched Spiderman 3!

Peter Parkers gramndmother said "Sometimes you have to do the hardest thing possible...You have to forgive yourself..."

And it was like "poof" I understood...

Finally that the path I was on was self destructive...

No matter how powerful I had become no matter how hard I had tried I couldnt bring her back...

It was what it was...And I AM what I AM....

Hopefully I can move forward now...In fact I know I will...

I simply have to...

Thanks for reading...

[Neo]

Just to clarify this in experience *I* had.

To to be clear that the cut and paste was of my own "insight".

Blushes.

[CFTraveler]

Why blush?
It was interesting.
When I have more time I'll attempt an interpretation, if you'd like one.

[Neo]

I would more than like a reading.

I have been following some of your posts here for a few years now and would welcome any insight.

What I would like to add though is the above is a year old and the story as I call it has evolved so much more.

[CFTraveler]

Hi Neo. For many reasons (things happened in the next few months after you posted this) I completely forgot about this post. I don't remember if I ever replied to it.
Did I talk to you at all about it?
CF.

[CFTraveler]

I am going to insert comments to your writing, instead of quoting, to avoid the "tiny print effect". I hope it makes it easier to read.

About ten years ago I have a VERY vivid lucid dream...I was aware that I was in a late night social/party setting...People around me were dancing and it seemed like having a very good time...I then became aware in my minds eye of a literal light/and or presence in the centre of the room...

Then out of nowhere a young women appeared in front of me...(I wont describe her for now as that isnt the point...)

She told me her name was "Urell" and prompltly dissapeared...But I do feel it was a telepathic conveyance...As I dont recall seeing her speak at all...
What the heavens kind of name is that...?Celestial or Ancient Terrestrial...?
[U-real?] [Uriel?][Interestingly, Uriel literally means "Fire/Flame/Light of God". Also, "Kabbalists assign Uriel to the middle pillar of the Tree of Life, and specifically to the sephirah Malkuth, the Kingdom." I would say that she is your anima, or your female subconscious intuitive side, and also has certain characteristics that parallel the symbolic/celestial counterpart.]
http://www.uriel.com/uriel/




One thing I will say is that I awoke with a start and when I did finally return to sleep I have never before or since rested so peacefully...

I am aware there might of been an astral component but nevertheless it has perplexed me for over ten years...

I suppose thats why my "search" began...For alternative truths as this wasnt rational or conventional....

I did have a "forced" awakening in '01 in nearly happened in '00 but I somehow grounded and stopped it...My best guess is that my Kundalini either was awoken or my third eye/crown chackra became aware...Thats an even longer story but its important to mention it as I was very gravely ill...

(Now I know because of the deep breathing exercises that I have been doing its been causings "shifts" which I have been either been picking up whilst asleep or awake...Or I have a very seriously active imagination...Ofcourse I pnly know this now thanks to Micheals's book on "The Great Awakening"...I reccomend it to EVERYONE as I dont think there is anyone that cant learn something...)

Then for last couple of years there are these horrific flashbacks that I have and I am sure this aforementioned lady is the same and is involved in these too...What happens to her isnt good it isnt good at all...

(I honesty I must now confess that when I was "ill" I shouted at the skies and told God to show me everything and I wasnt scared...Unfortunatley I used too much profanity at the absolute and I guess my wish was served only a couple of years later...) [Not sure about that- you only get shown things when 'it's the right time, you either have matured, or have grown up in the sense of being able to figure it out or find someone who helps you with that.]

I guess the only thing I can say is as someone somewhere pointed out she is possibly celestial...i myself personally think she is from an earlier civilsation here on Earth...I can also firmly state that these former civilsations then went on into our solar system and deep space...If we have forgotten think about them... I wouldn't know (or care frankly, because I believe everything we experience, whether physical or imaginary, is symbolic of where we are. But that's my viewpoint.

Anyway back to the topic on discussion...

There is a reccurring (although not recentley thank God) "flashback" where by she is dancing at the foot of a mountain wearing what can only be described as traditional Indian clothing...The dance is almost poetic and looks like a cross between ballet/traditional Indian...

To the left is an Ancient Tree (again someone mentioned the tree of life to me...) possibly Cedar/Oak...You can sense she is at peace with herself and her lover/partner...

She is actually "Nordic" its the only way I can put it...Ie Blonde Hair but with green eyes...The can pierce straight through you....

Her partner is actually even more strange he is an Albino...Seems of a "Royal" Lineage....

He has left her to gather some berries/nuts to eat... Tree of life, the world, the universe, berries to eat- can be literal (nourishment) or spiritual (knowledge)

He then instinctually knows something is wrong,something is very very wrong...

Out of the Corner of my minds eye i see what can only be described as a disc shaped craft...He gets the sense a real sense these beings are literally pure pure evil...[Who is he? Or is it you?}

I cant describe "them" as I cant lock onto that part...

But she is captured and raped continuosly by a number of them that want to make her "submit" freely...She dosent and this only fuels their rage/anger to even higher levels...

She is then violentley beaten up and hung from the tree in what I can only describe as the crucifix position...Upside down... [If she symbolizes the earth, or an angelic presence in the earth, hanging her upside down would mean that her focus or inclination has become the opposite of before, hanging upside down can signify a change of outlook (not for the worse necessarily, but for the opposite). She can be your anima, btw. ]

Did they stop there?....

Heavens no...They then whilst she was still barely alive decided to set her alight to kill her in cold blooded murder...[Do you mean they burnt her?] (Sounds like enlightenment or illumination killed her innocence.]

Her partner/lover returns (and although he wasnt far away the speed/power of these beings is immense...and what seemed like an age passed in seconds...) to see what has transpired...

Understandadly he completley insanity grips him...And he feels a aeon old change come upon him...One he has up until that point successfully tried to control...

All I know is next these beings (who I still cant see/describe) are gloating arrogantly around somewhere near else about what they had done...I think they were a scouting party...

There are hundreds in not thousands of these beings there...

What happens next freaked the hell out of me...Her albino lover (dont ask me how/why) single handedly kills all of them without mercy over the course of the night well into dawn....No one was spared...And whilst these beings have immense power it pails into insignificance compared to his...Absolutley... [I would categorize him as the 'male side' who does not like what the illuminated insights has done to your feminine-intuitive side and is stepping in and stopping things from happening.]

He then drinks their blood is some kind of celebration..Vampiric almost and denounces God because of his loss...In fact almost like in Bram Stokers Dracula...(and I have since found out blood carries quite alot of energy...) [I would interpret this as your rational side declaring all 'subtle' 'spiritual' things to be crap, because they are too scary. Did you go through a 'ultraskeptical' phase in your psychological development?

I havent since returned to that "dream"...I dont know where it is possibly set or who/what/why/where that albino happeneded to go...His origins or hers but the war seemingly never stopped... The war between the rational and intuitive never stops, if you keep growing.

He wanted to wipe out the whole race of these "beings"...(In fact he later does indeed try...And almost suceeds...)

Maybe by doing this I am simply crystalising my thoughts...All I know is it put me under immense pressure last couple of years and it hurt those around me because by not dealing with and trusting those around me everybody suffered...

Meditating deep breathing has helped no end....

But I need to know what happended next....

Anyway I aplogise for writting such a long piece...

The above happend over a period of months in 2005 and since then I battled these creatures everytime I thought about it...

Only very recentley I fought a big blue one with horns and very nearly lost...I then put the Albino through a set of massive "upgrades" and defeated the being...

Its around the sametime I watched Spiderman 3!

Peter Parkers gramndmother said "Sometimes you have to do the hardest thing possible...You have to forgive yourself..."

And it was like "poof" I understood...

Finally that the path I was on was self destructive...

No matter how powerful I had become no matter how hard I had tried I couldnt bring her back...

It was what it was...And I AM what I AM....

Hopefully I can move forward now...In fact I know I will...

I simply have to...

I am going to end by guessing that if your rational side 'won', that is, made the intuitive side 'go underground', you will likely only see her when there is a message you must have that is of earth-shaking importance.
However, if you are continuing to pay attention to your dreams and cultivate your creative side, then you develop her, and may see her again.

Again, I'm sorry it took me this long to read your extremely interesting post.

[Craft]

You had mentioned that the girl was dressed in traditional Indian clothing, doing some sort of Indian dance, in front of the ancient tree. Perhaps the tree -and the references to India- have something to do with the Buddha Siddhartha Gautama? Having obtained enlightenment at the base of the tree, combine that with CF's observation of the symbolic burning, and you might find something more interesting. Just thought it was an interesting correlation.

[Neo]

I will print off your reply CFT so I can take a proper look at it.

Time just flies by.

I am also keeping an eye on that Eric Pearl thread.



Many thanks all.

Neo.