Throat Chakra blockage and developing vibrational awareness

[Warrior Spirit]

Namaste,

I have been spiritually seeking for almost a decade years now, but seem to be making little progress in refining me vibrational awareness sensitivity and in my purifying my throat chakra and energy body in general. I also cannot go beyond a light trance state. I have little to no guidance, I have basically read loads of books and helped myself. I think 10 years of practice is enough, I want to make some progress now. So please help me with the challenges I am facing.

I have had a very severe blockage in my throat chakra for about 20 years. It refuses to go away, no matter what I do. I almost feel my purpose for incarnation was to deal with this issue of the throat. I have had very strong social anxiety in the past, and it persists today as well, but to a lesser extent due to my developmental work. It manifests mostly in groups, when I have to say something - the throat tightens up, my heart races, and my voice quivers and breaks.

I have little to no vibrational awareness, and if I do, I do not know how to recognise it. I have read that vibrational awareness is connected to the throat chakra, so this may explain why my vibrational awareness is so low. It is ironic how many people report to me how strong and powerful my own energy is, and well developed the subtle body is. I have been told by quite a few people I have very well developed consciousness, and it is my throat blockage that is preventing me from knowing my own power.

I have not met any guides, or astral beings yet, and I have only ever had 2 spontaneous OBES several years ago, which have stopped since. I do not have astral sight, or astral hearing. Lucid dreams are also rare.
I have tried astral projection many times, but I gave up, because it was not working.

As for my meditation. I have plateued at the light trance state. I can get as far as hearing the faint and continuous hitch pitched sound, which I can now hear in waking consciousness as well. By the way what is this sound? I call it the sound of "stillness" I find it really difficult to beyond this state. Only once, again a few years ago, did I experience sensory withdrawal(Pratyhara) and enter a deep trance. But I have not been able to repeat it since.

So basically I feel like I am making little progress. As I am doing this on my own, I have no guide to turn to help me diagnose what is wrong. I would appreciate all the help and advice I can get from you at this forum. It would be much appreciated. I want to make progress now

[sleeper]

the throat center plays a powerful role in astral projection as well as other things. it sounds like you have a clearly defined understanding of your situation.

but do you know why your throat is blocked? it is likely resulting from a deeply personal event or series of events. Healing the past will heal your throat. You need to go back in time, ya' dig? you can do this in meditation. You need to go back in time and do two primary things: empathize with the persons who harmed you emotionally, and then forgive them. That will likely heal you both.

this is how i recommend you do it: set aside several hours to do this incredibly important work. Remember the last time you got all choked up and really memorize the feeling - that will help you manifest your intention to go backwards to the beginning, back in time to when your troubles started. You want to recall the last time, then the time before that, then the time before that.

it may be painful but you're releasing pain by doing this.

note: once you do this successfully, you will have tons of energy moving to your higher centers, so be prepared to deal with that or it may make you loco.

[Seeuzin]

I agree, forgiving people can really help ease up blocks. And if you're going to go the practicing empathy route, make sure you practice empathy/compassion for yourself, too. =) I'd also add, that you can't really forgive someone on a deep level until you've felt through and processed all of the pain they've caused you. This is because if you try to "force" forgiveness and you stuff part of the pain away, you're just repressing it...and then the pain will stay there in your subconscious, festering, even if consciously you feel you've let go of it, or even if you feel you've rationalized that you "shouldn't" feel it. The only way to truly forgive (imo) is to process it fully, and Inner Dissolving is an excellent technique for this, if you haven't seen it yet. Korpo did a writeup of it and you can find it here:

viewtopic.php?f=46&t=9353

It's great for dissolving emotional pain and energetic blockages.

I don't know if this necessarily applies to you, but I have a hunch that it might and so I'd like to offer it...there's a really good webpage on forgiveness, found here http://www.guidetopsychology.com/forgive.htm , and here is a segment of it that I think is especially powerful:

There can, however, be one major psychological complication in regard to forgiveness.

You cannot forgive someone until you have fully felt the pain he or she has caused you.

Imagine the person who says, “I’m at peace with what happened. I’m OK with it. Actually, it doesn’t even bother me. But my life is still miserable. What do I do now?”

If you find yourself in this position, in effect saying, “No, it doesn’t bother me . . . but I’m still miserable,” it is a good psychological clue that there is still something missing. Usually, this means that you’re still denying your unconscious anger and resentment, so even though you think you’ve come to terms with what happened, there are still emotions about the event which you have pushed out of awareness. In fact, many persons can get caught up in this premature forgiveness as a way to avoid coping with all the unpleasant emotions they would rather not examine.

This can be extremely frustrating because unconscious resentments are essentially invisible to logic and reason. Because they represent things you would rather not see, they can be discovered only indirectly—such as when they continue to cause discomfort even though it seems that everything should be OK.

You might, for example, resist admitting that you are angry with a person you love. So you unconsciously hide that anger from yourself in a desperate attempt to “protect” your love for that person. Yet in your deception you do nothing but keep your resentments alive, and you effectively defile the very love you want to protect.

Again, not sure if it applies, I just had a feeling.

[Warrior Spirit]

Thanks for your help.

I tried the forgiveness meditation. I recreated event event in my life I could remember where I was given pain by somebody, and forgave them. I also recreated every event in my life where I gave somebody else pain, and forgave myself. I cannot consciously feel this pain, of course. It really is not all that different from just thinking about my life in normal waking consciousness. I have also had hypnotists who have tried to bring up the painful memories, but again it was no different to just thinking about stuff normally.

My meditative state and my normal waking state are only slightly different. I still have full awareness of all the sounds around me while in meditation. The only real difference is I get lightheaded in meditation.
I do not seem to be able to go deep enough to actually consciously feel the painful memories.

Do you have any further advice on my situation. Should I consult external help, from healers etc?

[Seeuzin]

Hmm...for me, consciously feeling the pain associated with a memory is as simple as recalling the memory. I have had some times, though, where I've recalled a memory and the pain was not recalled with it, so I can relate somewhat. For me, this was caused by "soul fragmentation." Here is a breif run-down on what that is, and keep in mind that this only the first thing that came to mind for me; your problem could be entirely different.

When you go through an extremely painful event, such as a trauma, and the pain is too much to bear, sometimes you psychologically "split off" the pained part of yourself, so that you can recall the memory, but the pain is blunted or in some cases completely blocked off. In psychoanalytic terms, this split-off part of the self could be called a "complex;" in spiritual terms we say that the pained part of your soul has actually split off from you. This is not to say that the split off parts are wandering around the astral on their own, though...they stay connected to you even while separated, I think it's by a thread of some sort, although I'm not sure. So they can always be retrieved.

"Soul retrieval" is the name for the shamanic technique where a healer brings back soulfragments and helps you reintegrate them. I would highly recommend not trying to do soul retrieval yourself unless you have a lot of experience. I'll explain more about why later.

I'm not sure if soul fragmentation is the source of your problem or not, but if it is and you choose to seek a healer's help for soul retrieval, be aware that when reintegrating soul fragments, it can be EXTREMELY psychologically painful. Remember, you split those parts off of you for a reason: because you could not handle the pain. When you bring the fragments back, the pain hits you again full force. The only difference is that you will hopefully have more wisdom and strength than you did when you first felt that pain. I recommend using Inner Dissolving to process it.

Also, if I were you, I wouldn't try to do soul retrieval without a skilled healer, for a couple of reasons. Firstly, unless you're very good at recognizing what's you and what's not, you might be fooled by unsavory elements (neg entities) posing as fragments of yourself to try and get in. Secondly, you want to be sure you only take in what you can handle. Once, I took in over 20 soul fragments at once when I tried this without help. It was painful as all hell! I cried for two days and had to put most of the soul fragments back out just to function.

I don't know if this is your problem or not. The lack of feeling pain could simply be due to blockage, for example. However, I wanted to throw it out there. If you do decide to investigate this possibility further...PLEASE consult a skilled healer whom you trust. If you do suffer from fragmentation, the results of reintegration are well worth it...you feel stronger and more "whole" after you're done processing the pain. But also be sure that you're actually able to handle the pain. If you're in a vulnerable spot, now is probably not the best time to attempt this.

[ButterflyWoman]

Hmm...for me, consciously feeling the pain associated with a memory is as simple as recalling the memory.

I used to have that. In fact, it would come on so strong that sometimes it would kind of half block out whatever was actually happening (I used to think of it as putting on tinted glasses).

I will note that lately, when a memory comes up, I am able to observe it and kind of "deflate" it. I just remove all the psychic energy from it and file it away. For the most part, I can recall it again if I need/want to, but, really, the past is the past so I don't have much need or desire to do that with most things.

It IS kind of disconcerting to have so many of your formerly present memories get filed away in a sort of drawer in the back of your mind, but it helps greatly to make you able to live fully in the present.

I have had some times, though, where I've recalled a memory and the pain was not recalled with it, so I can relate somewhat.

A good portion of my traumatic memories were like this. I could recall the events almost dispassionately. Except I still had all this rage, pain, fear, whatever, just it wasn't "attached". What I had to do was re-attach those energies to the actual memories. Took a long time. Was painful. Was most definitely worth it, however.

When you go through an extremely painful event, such as a trauma, and the pain is too much to bear, sometimes you psychologically "split off" the pained part of yourself, so that you can recall the memory, but the pain is blunted or in some cases completely blocked off.

Yup, that's it, precisely.

I did most of that more or less by myself, with just a friend (who is now my husband, actually) as a sort of sounding board.

I don't recommend doing it that way.

I'm not sure if this pertains to the situation or not, but I wanted to comment on Seeuzin's post. If it's not applicable, please disregard.

[Timotheus]

[Tom]

If you think EFT would work for you I'd suggest the book at http://chakratapping.com/. It isn't free, but it is much more direct about applying statements and tapping for the purpose of unblocking chakras than the original manual. Just be sure to take it a little at a time. I did hours of tapping two days in a row and I got really sick.

[sleeper]

how long were your meditations?

this type of work requires a long unbroken meditation over several hours, or many short ones over a period of years.

[Warrior Spirit]

I have not tried EFT, but I the techniques seem pretty trivial enough to just do it at home by myself. Let's see, I just have to tap all over my body, saying affirmations like "I forgive myself, I am not guilty" I am not paying somebody for that lol.

My meditations tend to be between 30 min and an hour. I usally want to come out of meditation after the hour mark, mainly because my body gets sore and sometimes because I start to sleep beyond that. I have many times thought of doing an extreme meditation for something like 5 hours, just to see what happens, but something always happens to disrupt it.