Originally Posted by
Ouroboros
Hehehe...thanks everyone.
I've been trying to enact a lot of changes in my life, and been successful with some (like the college thing - so far that's going pretty darn well). But I'm finding just how hard it is to change patterns of behavior. It's taking a lot of energy out of me, and I don't have a whole lot of support in my day-to-day life. I'm only accountable to myself, and now and then the loneliness of the struggle gets to be overwhelming.
For some, it seems like the knowledge that we must determine our own truths is very liberating. For me, it makes me feel like I'm alone and adrift in the middle of a storm with nothing to hold on to. I want higher help desperately, but I'm so ashamed of myself that I think I'm unintentionally blocking out everything that isn't mundane, material existence.
At least I've come that far though; I didn't really recognize until now just how big a part shame has played in my life.
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