Quote Originally Posted by Ouroboros
Hehehe...thanks everyone.

I've been trying to enact a lot of changes in my life, and been successful with some (like the college thing - so far that's going pretty darn well). But I'm finding just how hard it is to change patterns of behavior. It's taking a lot of energy out of me, and I don't have a whole lot of support in my day-to-day life. I'm only accountable to myself, and now and then the loneliness of the struggle gets to be overwhelming.

For some, it seems like the knowledge that we must determine our own truths is very liberating. For me, it makes me feel like I'm alone and adrift in the middle of a storm with nothing to hold on to. I want higher help desperately, but I'm so ashamed of myself that I think I'm unintentionally blocking out everything that isn't mundane, material existence.

At least I've come that far though; I didn't really recognize until now just how big a part shame has played in my life.
You don't always have to go it alone, people have help, the main thing is try and be good person, I don't understand exactly what problem you have, but problems are ment to be solved.
In different societies something that would be consider wrong by one group, is quite accecped by another. If you look at this in Pure Zen Thought there is nothing wrong in the universe, it is simply as it is.
If you are doing something you don't feel is right for you, don't do it, tomorrow is a new day put a good foot forward, and relize you are new, changed, it is not possible to change the past I do not believe, so go forward don't look back.
Just do some work on self, those stupid little egos to, some nasty if don't get rid of them, a lot of them come from what ever your childhood has been, got to get over it, go foreward into the light.
Things can't be that bad, like the girl who cried because she had no shoes, until she met the girl who had no feet.
If you have something else that is a trouble, they call me Dr. Googolplex, I don't, but others do.