hiya Wallbridge,

like ether said, to be aware of negative thoughts is a huge step ahead, placing one in the driver seat of responce to negatives outlying their chosen path or course. imagine, if you will, if these thoughts instead of being of your awareness, just rose up and you reacted to them without question. this is what some folks do, they react with little or no question to the arising thought, as if their personal spontaneous arising will is justification enough, regardless of shared laws discouraging overt negative reactions.

given the mission to carry a volatile substance, this mission is given to one whom having a sense of responsibility is going to carry the substance without setting off the volatile nature of the substance. certainly fear would overwhelm one in the prospect, yet that fear should remain mindful for caution's respected sake, and should not overcome the ability to respond accordingly.

it is like being given the capacity to defuse negativity within one's self, negativity that would otherwise have to be reacted upon by another whom is yet unable to defuse such. all this running about as if the sky is falling doesnt change the fact that within one is the given mission to respond accordingly, given simply because the ability to respond is without a doubt in place.

you see, being a spiritual 'warrior' is not about pointed outlying blame, pomposity and holier than thou-ness, it is about doing 'within' one's being that which without being's doing within is left to reactive destructive outcomings. it is about peace, and peacemaking, keeping what should be kept from it's otherwise volatile nature. most imagine that being spiritual is going to be like a vacation from human woes, a get out of jail free card that allows them to abundantly monopolize upon the world's best offerings. hell, even i imagined that at one time, only to awaken from such a pipe dream to my own sense of hellish volatility. oh, it is never easy, always a challenge, always waiting for that one second of forgetfulness to remind one to wake back up from the reformulating pipe dream. but like any process, challenge delivers ease, comfort within the discomfort, natures reaching resolve, instead of conflicting.

like Korpo suggests, the life before any one is sufficient as holding the day's challenge to grow. but each has to accept whatever challenge they are able to accept, for shrugging it off to blame of subjective fear, merely throws it back out into play, wherein it will most likely be played out as opposed to having been defused through the objective mission assigned to a one whom possesses a healthy responce mechanism.

it is no different than our outlying crisis, hard working folks pointedly blaming folks that seem to have no motivation to work in these uncertain times, therefore these get the blame for the working man's woes, his tax bucks have to support these. well, through that pointed blame is the reactivity given out to add injury to insult, from blames thoughted outlying insult to internal injury.

it is like a parable of a woeful man, praying to god to lift his heavy cross off and give him a lighter smaller one. so god wisps him up, takes him to a warehouse filled with seemingly infinite crosses of all different sizes, all of them around a Cross so ginormous that it dwarfs the overall scene of many disimilular crosses. so the guy timelessly sorts throught the given choices, looking through all of the crosses, scoping out the smallest one that he can possibly find. waalaa, he finally finds a cross, the tiniest cross in the whole of all the choices. he takes it to god, saying this is the one for me. god turns it over, reads the inscription on the back of it, shows it to the guy, the guy reads it, and what do ya know, it has the guys name on it. the guy asks god, why is my name on this smallest of crosses? god answers, why this is the cross you had before, the one which you begged for me to exchange because it was too heavy.

my two cents,

tim