How much choice is involved in the process of reincarnation?

[Beekeeper]

Wallbridge,I suggest you read Brian Weiss, Many Lives, Many Masters.

[Wallbridge]

Evening, everybody.

Thanks for the tip, Korpo. I'll try to change my language around a bit to get more lessons through. I think the reason I'm asking for the karmic lessons that are learned through pain, though, is because I want to get through all of the ones that require physical suffering, emotional torment and spiritual black nights, and save the happier lessons for my next life.

For example, I would rather learn humility through shame, or strength through loss this life, but save learning open-mindedness through experience, or confidence through responsibility next life. If I'm going to be eating bland oatmeal for the rest of my current life, I'd prefer to eat my vegetables while I was at it, and save pie for the next life. I know I'm looking at karma through a physical lens of what composes "fun" and "boring," or "pleasure" and "pain," but hey, I may be spirit deep down inside, but while I'm reincarnating on earth, I'm human... and I enjoy being one.

I'm glad to be out of that cycle, too, Ether. It only started because a good friend of mine simply asked me, "Do you want to get better?" and I just answered, "Yes." After that, I didn't stop until I identified, scooped out and fixed every problem within me. It took about four years to do (only because I didn't know what I was doing), but I eventually made it.

And Beekeeper, is Dr. Weiss the guy who wrote a book about a woman who was coming to him for therapy, and she started remembering past lives where she was constantly intertwined with the same man, and that he was also seeking therapy with the same doctor? Then they met on an airplane, got married and had a kid who loves butterflies? Or is that a different book/author? That book gave me hope in reincarnation existing!

Unfortunately, only an off-hand comment by Robert Bruce in one of his blogs, that we have more choice in reincarnation the more spiritually advanced we are, helped to explain my role in the process. I sure hope he's right, but I'm glad you reminded me of that book and gave me a bit more courage. Thanks!

[CFTraveler]

Hey Wallbridge.
Just a couple of comments- Karma is the result of a process, not a mathematical equation in which the result is zero- so 2 pains won't make 2 pleasures. It seems to me that the idea behind it is to lose the attachment to both pleasure and pain, so that no karma is accumulated.

And, I think the key behind Robert's comment is awareness- the more 'spiritually advanced' you are the more aware you are of what the effect of your choices are, and the more you can control this effect. Awareness of this connection is what makes the difference, and the ability to choose.

Bye, CF.

[CFTraveler]

got to agree with ya CFT

Well, you don't have to, it's just comments.

but think of this their is billions of us and as you know we get help from above Spirit World, i dont know yet but im learning how do they know who gets to take the spiritual path ?

I do not understand this question- how does who know who gets to take the spiritual path? Please elaborate, it may be the way the question is constructed, but I don't get what you mean by it.

then problems would not have existed

Problems have never existed for spirit, only for ego.

i think even if we are spititually advanced in one life we dont get to live it in the next or even another

I don't know if we even get to reincarnate, but we may come here for a specific reason. Or not.

but may happen in another?

If parallel multidimensionality is a fact, then everything is happening at the same time, and it's all adjusting itself. But our material self only perceives part of it, thus the idea of sequential lives and afterlife/betweenlife states.

i know they see them selves as all equal to each other with in reason i think their is age differences but i know (taught by above) the true basis of the meaning of life is to live for each other

Because in essence, we are each other. We just don't perceive it like that from here. But from 'up' there, well, maybe.

[Beekeeper]

And Beekeeper, is Dr. Weiss the guy who wrote a book about a woman who was coming to him for therapy, and she started remembering past lives where she was constantly intertwined with the same man, and that he was also seeking therapy with the same doctor? Then they met on an airplane, got married and had a kid who loves butterflies? Or is that a different book/author? That book gave me hope in reincarnation existing!

Yeah, I think it is but I wrote the wrong title and I meant "One Soul, Many Bodies" because it makes the point that enjoying each life is part of what you're supposed to do and illustrates karma in a more lived, less theoretical way. It also shows how good choices end particular, less enjoyable karmic patterns. A "good choice" isn't at all about embracing suffering but about doing what is for the greatest good. This generally entails a response that is both loving and authentic.

[Wallbridge]

CF - That sounds right; awareness lights a new path. Thansk for that!

I don't think I have a problem with being attached to broad concepts like compassion or freedom, or avoidance of things like murder or marriage. If that brings karmic debt to be attached (or completely opposed) to certain things, I'm ok with that. My goal right now isn't to enter heaven, or lose myself to Nirvana, or to become one with Source. I want to finish what I started this life, and avoid the only two things that can permanently ruin or fade my life and the lives around me: dishonor, and marriage.

The only thing that bothers me is if karma will keep throwing me into situations where I get married life after life until I learn something I don't know that I'm supposed to be learning. That's the reason I keep asking for trials and tough times (though now I'll ask for lessons), because I want to finish the major spiritual training this life so I can free up the next ones for service, experience and fun.

I spent long enough, when I was younger, ignoring others' good advice on how to stop being depressed. I was content to wallow in my own laziness and self-pity, despite people telling me clear paths to get out of that bad situation. But now, if there's an unclean issue lying deep in my soul, I want me and my HS to work together to root out the problem and fix it ASAP. I'm through with being a scrub.

At the very least, if I can't get to the astral realm again and ask in person about how to set up an excellent next life, I can verbally ask to be tested again and again until I'm ready to take the next life with gusto.

Bee - That's a good lesson to learn. I think I've proved both my loving nature and my authenticity by choosing to marry my wife and care for her and my son, rather than running away like my father, or being abusive and neglectful like my mother. This, despite the fact that I had to sacrifice and give up everything that made me happy in the process. Though I am unhappy with the way my life turned out, I love my family deeply.

That said, though, I really don't want to come up on this situation again... and if that is interpreted as fear by the other side (and as a fear I/my HS wants to shed ourselves of), then again, I'd love to get the lesson learned this life to leave my future incarnations (future mes) free to pursue my unfinished goals.

[CFTraveler]

A couple of comments on Wallbridge's post:
One, how old are you? You are never too old to have a satisfying life, you have the right to change whatever you want about yourself. That is the benefit of being a cocreator of your experience. So don't give up on your life and consider it 'wasted'- experience is never wasted. If there is one thing that I agree with just about everybody (and I don't agree on much when it comes to life, you will find) is that we're here to experience- everything else is debatable.
Another thing is that (at least according to the Buddha, and I agree with him on this point) attachment is not the problem- the idea is not to lose attachment to things or people or ideas- the idea of liberation is to understand where the attachment comes from, and know that you don't need it. This is liberating in itself.
I see an underlying theme in your posts- the theme of 'uncleanliness'. I don't know where this comes from, but please apply the idea of losing attachment to this- you don't have to lose attachment to life, but I would explore the question of how this idea came about and why you are attached to it.
I wish you peace, and I hope that you can reconcile the parts that you consider 'uncacceptable' in your life now, before you go on to the next, because it'll make for a better next life, if you believe in it. If you don't, it'll make for a better 'right now' life.
Remember this though: You have the Divine Right to change your mind about anything in your life, right now, and you don't have to wait.

[Korpo]

I agree with CF.

Spiritual growth is not an all-or-nothing proposition. To my understanding it is also easier to let life show you what needs improvement and changing in your way of relating to things. It will be a gradual process, an unfolding of the truth - if you let it.

Cheers,
Oliver

[Wallbridge]

Merry Christmas, everyone! And thanks for your continued sharing with me.

I absolutely agree, ether. Even though I feel like raging at my situation, or being depressed about it, I force myself to be happy about the way my life turned out. I try to see the good side of things, and look ever forward to the day I can finally follow my dream again. Luckily, I don't have to die for that to happen; when my kids have moved out and are going to college, I can resume traveling the world again. Next life is the life where I can have the experience of being a young, wide-eyed, honorable youth abroad.

CF, I'm 28, and I'm totally on board with you. I also believe the meaning of life is to experience and grow. Thanks also for clarifying Buddha's message; I try not to "need" as much as possible in this world to keep myself free. Only honor and freedom matter to me, but unfortunately, I had to sacrifice the latter to the former in service of my family. I didn't realize that these two concepts were all that mattered to me until after I got married.

It was hyperbolic of me to say this is a wasted life, because even if I don't feel challenged or engaged by it, it still presents me the knowledge that I don't ever want to get married or have kids again, which will hopefully serve me well in future incarnations.

As for uncleanliness, this is something that I am focused on at all times. If I didn't constantly check myself for how I were acting with other people, I would default to the apathetic, rude, selfish, demanding and lazy person that I was until I "awakened" this life. I don't know if it was poor parenting, a genetic issue, or karmic issues raising themselves to the top, but there is a darkness within me that wants to hurt people, to take everything and give nothing back, and sit around feeling both entitled and depressed. For the sake of those around me, (and partially for selfish reasons, to avoid shame), I do my very best to remain internally clean and externally moral.

I have taken your advice very close to heart. I try to accept my situation mentally, even though I can't change things physically. At the very least, I only have another 20 or so years until my kids are old enough to go to college, and I can resume living my life. Until then, I'm trying to look on the bright side.

The only thing I'm confused about is how I should think about things to achieve the best result. If I dwell on the negatives of child-rearing and marriage, I might be compelled to return to the physical realm next life to get married and raise more kids, until I no longer feel attached to the unhappiness it breeds within me.

However, if I try to love marriage and child-rearing at all times, I might be compelled to return to the physical realm for another life of the same, because that's what I'm attuned to.

How can I desire not to get married or have kids again, without being compelled into the same position life after life? For me, I try to skirt the line and remember why marriage and child-rearing are bad for my life, but not to let it get me down. I hope the middle ground leads me to my next life, where I'm perpetually single and free to follow my dreams.

And Korpo, do you think it would be better to stop asking for lessons, and just let things happen naturally? I trust the other side to show me the path either way, but if not asking for lessons will be better for my overall spiritual health, I'm all for it.

Thanks!

[Korpo]

Hello, Wallbridge.

Lessons will keep coming, but giving consent might help set the shape of those lessons. It might also give you a feeling of participating consciously, which will be very helpful in dealing with lessons, be them joyful or challenging ones. So, giving consent might change the way in which you learn your lessons, you might get involved in your dreams, your intuition might point to solutions and so on.

You could start to see each experience you have as contributing something to your overall self. It all depends on your reaction to it. Make some room for things that you enjoy for yourself, to recharge. Then deal with everything that comes your way for a while. Then relax, recharge. Keep a balance. It gets easier after a while.

Believe it or not, that would be learning to fulfill part of the challenge of living. Doing service for others and doing service to yourself are both required. This will help not feeling like you're sacrificing your life for others, but also not like your behaviour is only "self-serving."

You can ask your dreams for help if you want to keep this part in check:

[T]here is a darkness within me that wants to hurt people, to take everything and give nothing back, and sit around feeling both entitled and depressed.

Everyone has this part, but it's part of emotional hygiene to maintain it. Over time it will release. Dreams can help in this regard. Just pick one thing you want to release, and ask specifically for a dream for releasing it. It's part of the path to inner peace to learn to regulate and take care of this aspect of yourself.

You can also do this: Lay down, close your eyes, relax. Imagine a platform in front of yourself. Say inwardly "Everything I do now is just for inward release. It will bring no harm, just release." Then think of something you want to release - even a person who upsets you. Give it a picture. If you put a person there, you really put the problematic energies there that keep unhelpful ways of relating with that person alive. Now destroy it. And remember - this is just happening inside your energy field - it's for cleaning out problematic energies. And it will help dealing with that part, because that part will be the one inspiring the images.

Cheers,
Oliver