Need big help

[Dragon's Daughter]

I'll throw this out there - I'm not saying that it relates to what you're going through. But it's what I experienced from ages 13 - 20.

I would get these feelings over me. And for myself I would turn to poetry to 'express them', to 'get them out'. I would immerse myself into the emotion and ask myself what situation would create this emotion. Then I would begin to write from the visuals and the emotions that I would experience.

As soon as I would finish 'expressing' them. 'Poof', they'd be gone! In a few rare cases, I'd go through them due to something someone close to me was experiencing the same emotions. But I've got over 300 poems from that timeframe and most of them, I never knew where the emotions came from.

I learned later that I am a strong empath. I even developed telepathy for about 6 months when I was 19. I've learned the hard way to deal with these abilities. But I found how they help me now. It's truly about finding the balance - learning the ins and outs of what is going on, what is capable.

DD

Hi Brett, me again!
Since our ages are completely flipped, I can look back with a little more understanding than you can in your present situation. Your body is changing, hormones raging, which can really mess with your mind. You would be a very unusual teenager if you didn't have some of these feelings. Hormones are powerful things. You're up one day, down the next, everything is new and exciting one minute, the world is coming to an end in the next minute, you have no feelings at all the next minute. Like we've talked about before, you are opening to spirituality at a very young age (unlike most of your friends), and you are peeking into dimensions that would blow away most 30 year olds. You are questioning reality, spirituality, and other things that other people usually sneak up on very slowly in their lifetime, if at all. You are progressing spiritually faster than your mind can keep up with. Just hang in there, it will get better with time. Try to surround yourself with light and happy things...and for God's sake, stay out of the Psychic Defense Forum. The last thing you need right now is to be convinced that you are being chased around by negs. Read inspiring things, not depressing things. Watch movies with happy endings, not rock 'em, sock 'em, kill them all flicks. Play upbeat music, stay away from heavy, hard rock. Try being a goody-two-shoes. Help someone else. Take the focus off yourself by reaching out to help a friend in need. Think LOVE. Think LIGHT. Stay away from the dark and depressing. It can only pull you farther down. Stay far, far away from the occult...you aren't ready to handle that. Draw closer to the Spiritual. Surround yourself with love and laughter. Watch funny comedy movies. Anything to pull you out of your hole. You will re-wire your brain in time if you do these things and put yourself in the Light. Then, you'll be a force to reckon with...you're already on that path. I can't wait to see you in 10 years! Back up, Brett, the Magnificent Light is coming through!!!

[CFTraveler]

Brett: Listen to Painterhypnogirl. She knows what she's talking about.

[Matthew]

Brett,
It's great to embrace love, light, and every good quality. And it is certainly good advice to surround yourself with these ideals. However, you can't solve problems by sending them into some positive la-la land of repression either. The conscious and unconscious are like the positive and negative poles on a magnet. If you simply keep increasing the positive pole, the negative pole will increase proportionally. Personal power and enlightenment come from grasping the negative and positive poles and transcending this dichotomy: you can only accomplish this when you understand the negative within you. I tell you this not to depress you or to make you believe in what I say. Only to let you know that if you surround yourself with "happy,happy, joy, joy" and the pain gets worse instead of better, you will probably need to start digging very deeply into how you really feel...and don't sugercoat it to yourself. It may be dirty and ugly down there, but if we don't embrace our feelings at some point, they will continue to pollute our lives.

The exercises I have are very hard as they involve intense self-observation. I would really recommend you starting with Robert Bruce's core image removal techniques. They are much easier to use than what I have and make for a great starting point. Also, there are great websites on Buddhist and Fourth-Way (Gurdjieff) self-observation techniques. I started by digging into these traditions twenty years ago.

Take care and PM me if you need anything else.

-Matthew

[Dragon's Daughter]

Matthew,

The experience that I related above very much put me through the emotional wringer during that timeframe. I went through every emotion imaginable. During which I soul searched, dug deep - explored soul avenues with no direction at all from anyone or anything. Talk about taking the 'crash course'.

As my Shaman Teacher loved to say "some of us are 'marked' and you're going whether you go willingly or you're dragged kicking and screaming."

I certainly don't wish this on anyone but sometimes the hard road is the one that teaches the most. I know so much about myself that it just baffles me how little those physically around me don't know about themselves.

I don't discount any path that anyone chooses for themselves - but I also don't believe in blank statements (from anyone) saying "it doesn't have to be this way, this will work for you" - my advice, talk to the Higher Self. If you can't talk to your own Higher Self - get a mediator. Sometimes if you're stubborn (as I am), you have to get the hard lesson to really "get it". Luckily I was able to get that done spiritually and emotionally rather than having to physically be put through the same soul exploration.

And if you don't get the answer you're looking for from your HS - you ask "What can I do/should do?" And you get the 'ol "whatever you want" statement - start playing "20 questions" - you can eventually get something to work with.

DD

[Matthew]

Good post, DD. I understand where you are coming from....
-Matthew

[Dragon's Daughter]

Thanks, Matthew, sometimes I wonder if I end up just confusing people. Sometimes I have so much to write - but I think I just jumble it trying to get it all down.

DD

Haven't you "down and dirty" people ever heard of MANIFESTATION????? You attract what you put out. Brett is a little bit young to be digging deep into the dark side of his soul. Encouraging him to search the darkness is encouraging him to draw it to himself. I have worked with teenagers all my life. Professionally beginning in college. I actually have EXPERIENCE, professional and personal, in helping young people. I'm not giving out advice from just my own personal struggles with life, which I see so many people on this forum doing. I am talking about seeing results with the power of manifestation. I have seen many people's lives change for the better by drawing the positive to themselves.

One can choose to grow through pain and struggle or one can choose to grow through choosing a path that takes you outside of your self-imposed darkness. We are what we believe we are. We manifest what we think. We are powerful creatures, and we have the ability to turn that power against ourselves or to create ourselves in the image of Light. How sad that you would encourage someone to manifest darkness for themselves because of your personal dislike for "lala land". You are throwing a drowning person an anchor, I am throwing them a life raft.
Love and Light,
Patty

Thanks Chris!
It sounds exactly like what I am going through.
I am 15 years old by the way.

Thanks Mathew for your post as well, it's a little complicating but I think i get the just of it. I would very much like to try those techniques that you have.

I was listening to this tape... On it one speaker described how he had suffered after his car was burglarized. He ended by saying that it was the most difficult thing he had ever experienced.

Another speaker asked how old he was. He said he was 24. The second speaker said that he thought he just might have a few more experiences in life.

You never know...

[Matthew]

Hmmm...good point, Painterhypnogirl. It is important to keep a positive attitude. However, not all that is manifested comes through consciousness. (A common misconception that a basic psychology course will disprove.) In essense, any neurotic complex is unconsciously manifested into reality. Take obsessive-compulsive behaviour for example. The person has very little knowledge of why he or she repeats the same actions (let's think of the classic hand-washing type). These actions are unconsciously motivated. They are unconscious MANIFESTATIONS. If the person washes their hands 50 times and then listens to Mozart because it makes them "feel positive" and helps them go out and interact with others positively, it does not change the fact that they will go and wash their bleeding hands 50 more times that day. In this regards, I believe it helps to deal with the unconscious issue. What would be sad is giving them another tape to listen to and thinking you solved their problem...

-Matthew