CF's dream diary

[CFTraveler]

Was having a dream I already forgot about, when I remembered an exercise I wanted to do, and proceeded to try it, with no results. The exercise was creating a big blue sky in my vision screen. All of a sudden I realized that I was shooting off beams of heat (fire element) from my arm in a side to side motion (dual awareness within the dream, 2 bodies doing different things perhaps) when I felt the heat coming from my arm, and this roused me awake. Then I tried to go back, did a couple more visualizations, and got up, to find it was raining torrentially. Apparently the storm (Debby) is closer than I thought.

[CFTraveler]

Had a wonderful series of dreams, all mystical. Unfortunately have forgotten the details, but it was all good.

[Pneumismatic]

I think he was an archetype, for disease or death, not sure. (I think it was disease, because the children were up and walking).

More precisely, His work is suffering: dis-ease and ego-death, and renewing the youth thereby, like the phoenix thin from fasting, whose skin is scorched by the heat of the flames. Neosporin. Yes, HE IS, an Archetype.

[Pneumismatic]

I got up in the middle of the night and went back to sleep- I then had about three dreams, that seemed to follow each other.

Three dreams, describing the gradual transformation resulting from the shift of the dreamer's point of view in three steps:

Dream 1:

1. from shallow ego, lamenting the loss of connection with the ancient core, which is very good because the only way to solve a problem is to first admit the painful truth that there is a problem, the ignorance of which is represented by the darkness (As "whatsoever makes manifest is light" so whatever hides a thing is 'darkness') of the core, into the dark core itself, a journey referred to by Saint John of the Cross in his unparalleled masterpiece, The Ascent of Mt. Carmel as "The Dark Night of the Soul" which causes what formerly appeared to be true "illumination" and familiarity, reveal itself to be poorly contrived darkness and stagnation. This release of inferior beliefs in order to grasp superior truth is always accompanied by a poignant "melancholy" because it entails the loss of the transient egotistical story, to make way for the intransient eternal truth. This has been referred to in various places as an "existential crisis," or "identity crisis," and is to be treated as such, with the greatest of tenderness.

Dream 2:

2. In the second dream the relationship of the dreamer to the ancestral becomes closer by 1/3. Instead of being in the grandmother's house the dreamer is in the mother's house, thus the dreamer's vast unexplored expanses are steadily becoming a 'small world' so to speak. The formula for the degrees of the separation between the dreamer and the Ancient is therefore: Dream1 - 3 Degrees of separation, dreamer is in grandmother's house [ 1. ego, 2. mother, 3. grandmother], Dream 2 - 2 Degrees of separation, dreamer is in mother's house [1. ego, 2. mother], Dream 3 - Union, as there is no such thing as one degree of separation as any numbers that are one degree away from their neighbors will be touching their neighbors ["1" touches "2" whereas "1" does not touch "3" because "2" is between "1" and "3"]. There also appears a parallel development hinted at by the relational shifting, namely, the integration of the projected stories or personas of "my grandmother" and "my mother" into the interior of the dreamer's psyche. This is represented by death, as when a projected image, such as a movie, disappears from the screen, that's 'the end of it'. From the point of view of the Self, images and meaning are either outside or inside, projected or integrated and if they are projected they are 'alive' but when they are integrated they 'die' because they cease to have a life of their own outside the walls of the dreamer's psyche. (This is another way of describing the loss of a complex, which is primary marker of progress in most modern effective psychology. Whoever loses a complex gains the essence of the complex by default, which is a prize to be most sought after.)

Thus, initially the dreamer is comforting her mother over her grandmother's 'death', which parallels the 3 Degrees of separation, leading to the integration by the dreamer of her grandmother's persona, the loss of her 'grandmother complex' and the gain of her grandmother's real essence. Next, the dreamer's mother dies, which is not expressly stated because "It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter," nor would The Dreamweaver insult the dreamer's intelligence. Nonetheless, this 'death' is sufficiently highlighted by the parenthetical statement, "(where she and my grandmother lived in the last part of their lives)" because the verb "lived" is rendered in the past tense, implying that both are now 'dead.' As well, "the last part of their lives" is actually redundancy of the death motif we could interpret mathematically as two death, one for the grandmother, and one for the mother. Therefore, the dreamer integrates her mother's persona, loses her 'mother complex' and gains her mother's real essence. This parallels the 2 degrees of separation. This is her unmentioned comfort she recieves as it is her turn to be comforted. The next 'death' to occur is that of the ego. This is what is meant by the statement, "then the environment changed" In the real world, the only way for one's environment to change is for the individual to get up and move, which tells us that the dreamer's identity has shifted from the ego complex to the Self, Oversoul, Holy Ghost, Higher Self, etc. This is the central part of the middle dream, the cube within a cube, the Holy of Holies, The Holy Spirit coming into His Temple, as we are told, "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?" No doubt the Apostle Paul here spoke to those who had already been through this process. This process takes on a stop and start character for the dreamer as initially she only 'thinks' she woke up, then proceeds to vacillate between waking and sleeping states, which no doubt contain just as much meaning as the images themselves, representing the unique struggle to understand her new relationship to everything and to assimilate the fact that "The length and the breadth and the height of it are equal," as a perfect cube should be, as the real Holy of Holies was a perfect cube. From Wikipedia: "The Holy of Holies was located in the westernmost end of the Temple building, being a perfect cube: 10 cubits by 10 cubits, by 10 cubits. The inside was in total darkness and contained the Ark of the Covenant, gilded inside and out, in which was placed the Tablets of the Covenant." Please note that it was in total darkness, as the dreamer's environment is "so dark it was impossible to see," in the first dream.

Dream 3:

3. The dreamer is in her own house, Her own Mind, as "the wise man's eyes are in his head" not the mind her grandmother told her she had when she was little, nor the personality (or name) her mother told her she had when she was young and impressionable, but a full-ownership, completely actualized occupation of being. The dreamer realizes that she is rich beyond her wildest dreams because within Her lie the true gems of wisdom. This is Individuation, Self-programming, and realization of all sovereignty residing presently in the Self, not the past. This is a commentary on Individuation, on letting the Self, or Higher Self, or Holy Ghost, or Oversoul be you, thus becoming IT, no longer the tiny picture boxed in by a frame, but the frame itself, connected with everything else that is outside the picture, with infinity, with the deepest heritage of the past, matriarchal, represented here by the great grandmother, and patriarchal, yet somehow continuing to contain the picture, which enhances the feeling of being rich even more.

Much more may be said about these dreams, however, I will finish by commenting on some interesting tidbits in brackets "[ ]" below as I believe enough has been said to 'get the picture':

I got up in the middle of the night and went back to sleep- I then had about ["about"="around"="circular"="Circumambulatory" = "Whole" i.e. dreams of wholeness] three dreams, that seemed to follow each other. [following each other, circumambulatorily, as those who walk in circles follow each other, cyclically or in spiral patterns]

In the first one I was in my grandmother's house, the one she lived in when I was a child. My great grandmother lived there until I was around 17, [A Round 8(1+7) = Whole] when she passed. The house was subdivided ["subdivided"='cut asunder'= 'dead,' mind is dissociated, prima materia, common clay, lead] (in the dream) in a cube-within a cube- the core was dark, so dark it was impossible to see, [Holy of Holies] and the surrounding was illuminated [false light]. My grandmother was looking for her mother (my abuelita) and she couldn't find her. I was helping her look for her in the darkness. I felt the same melancholy I felt all day and I don't know if this feeling caused the dream or if it illustrated something that's happening (perhaps in my head). In the dream I had the rote that my grandmother was alive but my abuelita was dead. (side note: I have seen my abuelita in projection in this 'house', and it's not 'where' she was before.
I then woke up realizing both my grandmother and great grandmother are no longer here. [foreshadowing of assimilation, dissociations of mind/house healed]

Then I dreamt I was in my mother's house (where she and my grandmother lived in the last part of their lives) and she was crying over my grandmother's death. It was a similar context- she was 'alive' [projected outward by the dreamer as opposed to integrated by the dreamer] and my grandma was 'dead' [integrated and owned by the dreamer as opposed to egotistically projected and disowned], in this more recent environment. I was initially there to comfort her, but then the environment changed. [dreamer's point of view shifts, oversoul is exchanged for another oversoul, new Archetype is activated in dreamer's mind] I think I woke up and went back to sleep a few more times, [struggle between old oversoul and new Archetype for dreamer] but in this part of the dream, her house became a huge mansion that looked like a theme-park 'haunted mansion', will lots of 'fake' special effects- a closet with holographic 'scary goblins' that were more fun than anything, and a bunch of different artifacts, 'Harry Potter' style 'magic' stuff that revealed itself to be special effects; and I wondered how much money she spent to 'pimp out' the place. [Dreamer can now truly See] I knew this was for my benefit, because I love ["Love" X1] the haunted house motif and her and I had always a shared love ["Love" X2] of all 'paranormal' motifs, from the horror ["from the horror" = of the original deception in dream 1] to all the 'Forteana' type of stuff [i.e. truly spiritual matters, Pun on 'Forte' as well, i.e. 'onward to a climax,' forshadowing dream 3]. At the end of this dream I am very hungry ['Food' X1, spiritual hunger for true spiritual food] (which makes sense, because I didn't eat ['Food'X2] last night) [hadn't ever had true spiritual food before] and am looking for something to eat ['Food' X3] in her huge kitchen.['Food' X4] In it I find all kinds of prepackaged 'typical criollo' favorites ['Food' X5, i.e. good (god) food], and some I'd never seen before, ['Food' X6 "I'd never seen before" alludes to prior spiritual blindness] but looked yummy. ['Food' X7] I don't think I ate. ['Food' X8(number of wholeness) didn't eat/achieve wholeness yet because dream three is where that occurs.]

Then I went to another dream in which everything was beautiful and full of gold and jewels. [True Sight is beautiful, and makes everything look beautiful because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everything is a miracle because it's a miracle that there is anything at all] I received a bunch of diamonds [spiritual treasures, soul fragments, dissociated complexes] (I think my mother was there, but I don't think she gave them to me- this part is fuzzy, it could have been her but I don't remember her giving them to me). [mother is old oversoul, still in the background, but "fuzzy," fading away] I then half awoke [moves away somewhat from old oversoul, volitionally] and started coughing because I had what felt like rocks [spirits, words] in my mouth. I spit one out and it looked like the diamond I had been given in the dream. I then held on to it and went back to sleep, knowing it was a hypnopomp, but holding on to it nonetheless. [the spiritual is now as important to the dreamer as the physical] I then slept some more and had more 'diamond' dreams. [more treasure acquired, mind is one, re-solved, transformed into gold from lead] When I woke up [fully awake, as opposed to "half awoke"] my hand was still closed in a fist, but there was nothing in it. [The 'nothing', the Spirit, has become the 'Something' to be gripped, full inversion from original position has occurred. Hold on tight! ]
So I got up. [Spiritual Ascension, awake "from the dead," new Archetype fully activated, truly Alive, truly Eternal]

[CFTraveler]

Nice! Thanks R.

[CFTraveler]

Last night before I went to sleep I recognized I have a problem with one person in the sense that I am too enmeshed with her. Before we went to sleep my husband and I discussed (mostly I talked, he listened, lol) my problem with this person, how it came about, etc., and as I went to sleep I asked for help in disconnecting emotionally from her. I started a 'blue room' meditation but fell asleep before finishing it, and had a normal night of sleeping. Until the morning when I began to have the typical 'falling asleep within a dream' scenario dream that I had in clusters some time ago, and it devolved into this:
I was having lunch with my husband and son when I started to get so sleepy I couldn't stay awake. In my 'dream memories' I recalled this had been happening in the past week or so- I would eat, then lose consciousness, and then I would wake up in another place, usually in the car, while my husband and son were somewhere else doing something physical.
This started to bother me as it had become a trend now, and I didn't like the loss of control, so I planned to make my next meal all protein so I would not get drowsy and lose the plot again. After we ate I started to feel the usual drowsiness but I fought it, and only lost consciousness briefly... and then now we were in a room, with a checkerboard wooden floor, and there were a group of people in this room. My son was outside in a field doing who knows what and my husband was in the room talking with a woman in the place. They were playing some sort of game and I immediately knew that my husband was carrying on with her and it had been going on ever since I had started going to sleep all day. I did not feel angry, in fact, felt nothing, but at the same time I decided to take some action.
I walked into the room where they all were, and they were playing some game like paintball, because they had fake guns and there was some blue ink all over the place. I located a gun and put real bullets in it (don't know where I got them, but they were there, lol). I immediately pointed it at this woman and shot her in the chest, easy. Then I took the gun I had, grabbed a rag and wiped it clean. Then I put it back in the pile of other guns that were there from the game, and waited for them to discover her. There were lots of people running around, and when my husband saw her on the floor dead he did not react, and I wondered about that, as if she wasn't important. Then people began running around and freaking out and I just stood there talking to the owner of the house, who was more worried about getting the stain off the floor than about the dead woman on it.
I remember telling him to wash it with bleach, and his words (which I remember verbatim) were "the floor is not supposed to be washed with water, it'll ruin the finish" to which I replied something like "don't be stupid, wash it first, dry it and then refinish it". I woke up completely without affect. No emotion, no anger, no fear, no nothing, a technician, so to speak-completely uncharacteristic of me.

ps. I never saw the woman's face, but her hair looked suspiciously like mine.

[Pneumismatic]

I located a gun and put real bullets in it (don't know where I got them, but they were there, lol). I immediately pointed it at this woman and shot her in the chest, easy.

Someone has reclaimed a soul fragment from the dreamer, hence waking up feeling "uncharacteristic."

[CFTraveler]

This morning I was having a discussion about my employment options with a guide. A woman, indeterminate age. I remember telling her about my last two or three jobs, and woke up before getting the advice about what to do next.

[CFTraveler]

Another guide, a completely different lesson, completely ahead of where I am in waking reality.
Before going to sleep, I was doing a centering space meditation (step 5 in Bardon's IIH) and found myself in a landscape that was dark, with starts (love those stars)- I could see the moon and there might have been an ocean or watery ground. I then went to sleep, and proceeded to dream. The last one (started in the middle of the night, went on until I woke up) in which I was with a male guide who was showing me a book. In it he was showing me a list of the beings he was in control (or worked with). He gave me a long list of names (of which I have mostly forgotten) and told me that one of the beings had left him (or he had lost him or given him up) but he had acquired two new ones. The name started with A and ended in iel or ial.
Then he told me that I should study astrology to find the beings that were friendly to humans.
I then woke up, and tried to close my eyes to see 'consciously', and had the usual starfield I used to see often a long time ago. I looked at it as much as I could and then completely awoke.

[Pneumismatic]

The name started with A and ended in iel or ial.

"A" = Alpha, "I am Alpha and Omega" says the Lord in Revelation. "iel" means "is god(s)" or "is elohim" in Hebrew. "ial" has a similar meaning elsewhere, in Arabic, which also simply means "is the [one who is]" {I AM}

The dreamer has had conversations with God, how blessed! The dreamer/seer is being taught the true nature of the universe, in which we are not alone, nor are we the only intelligent physical species. One of the constellations to avoid is Alpha Draconis.