I've been reading and thinking about spiritual matters for most of my life now; trying to get a handle on what everything's about. When I was younger, trying to understand why there's so much agony in the world, why 'God' did nothing about it. Was there really a wrathful deity, or an absent one, or maybe nothing at all?

After decades of studying (I'm now 44), my rudimentary impression is that there is indeed some kind of vast-beyond-imagining ocean of consciousness 'thing'. Glimpses provided by many sources (including peoples' NDE's, OBE's and regressions) indicate that its nature is wise and loving and we're fully a part of it - made from it. Now that's a huge relief isn't it - that the ultimate power of all existence is nurturing? Whew!

But still, it can seem a bit impersonal. Free will is one explanation - and that we are learning in the school of hard knocks. But from the perspective of a little tiny human creature, the universe can seem a pretty harsh and cruel place. If there is a god and a heaven-like afterlife, most of us can't see it or hear it, and help doesn't often seem forthcoming.

These days I've gotten to the stage where I accept - at least intellectually - that we probably get help on a regular basis from all manner of good spirits, but most of us can't perceive them. Beyond our understanding there's probably reasons for why things happen as they do, and I think that all will (eventually) be well. Just knowing that there is more to existence than we perceive in the world, and that death is not the end - that is a benchmark for me.

But it's not enough. I want to get closer to feeling it, experiencing it directly. That's the core reason I'm interested in astral projection. On a mundane level, I want to prove to myself that consciousness can be outside the body. On a higher level, I'm hoping to see - the higher planes, the spiritual realms. Maybe communicate.

Some time ago I started thinking about that concept of discovering all this divine stuff within ones' self. The 'kingdom of heaven within'. In theory, if I do enough 'work' on myself, on my consciousness, lessening the hold of the ego, and perhaps asking for help (intent), this is possible. Okay. So I started meditation, gave up some unhealthy practices, began to get fit.

Only recently though, I felt my perception shift on an intellectual level. Instead of looking at the divine as some distant, impersonal, super-massive smiley face, I've been integrating the concept of Higher Self as a bridge from me to It. Here's my mental picture: if your soul advances through hundreds (or even thousands?) of lives, and you continue to learn in the between-life stages, your energy supposedly evolves and you grow up...and then you go on to many more stages of evolution beyond even the need for physical incarnation. Eventually we evolve beyond our capacity to even imagine.

If time is not linear in the afterlife, then it stands to reason that we have already evolved through these processes, and every stage kind of exists simultaneously. So if you are reaching out to your higher, much-more-evolved self, you could perhaps expect an interested 'response' of some kind because, well...it's YOU!

Makes it much more personal I think. Dude, it's YOU! Yes Dude, I'm you TOO!


P.S. I kinda wish I could go back and talk to myself as a young man and give him some support and encouragement, like the ultimate big brother. Impart some of my knowledge and skills. "Hey I know how you feel kid - more than anyone". Maybe this is how the higher self feels eh? Seems weird to be talking like this though - oddly self centered heh heh! Ultimately though, I imagine you'd identify this strongly with everyone, once you'd reached divine levels of consciousness.

Any insights provided...will be devoured ravenously.