I've had my own theories and was happy with them at the time before. Well,what does dejavu really mean? I get it a lot. I used to like it. The last few months,I was in a fearful place and started to dislike it. I decided to try and start liking it again. Today,I got it twice. In the morning,while I was doing a driving lesson with my best friend's dad and starting side streets. I felt obvious what it meant,but kind of uncomfortable with it. It felt obvious since driving is a goal of mine and feels important to me. Ok,but then tonight,I had a breakdown because I seen a pic on a girl's page that seemed to clue in that this guy who was dating me then got mad at me WAS dating her and must've been pursuing her the whole time while with me but then decided to choose her once I ignored his text despite my trying to work it out. So,I was examing pics of his and the pic of hers to see if an object in the background matched his or could be different to clue in he is NOT dating her and when I had the thought it looks different,I had the dejavu. This time,I took the dejavu as a good thing,I am not sure why. I still can't actually believe he is dating her,it literally makes no sense and doesn't feel true but she has been someone i was insecure of a few years ago and the day after I ignored this guy,I had a dream he trying to get her to go on a date with him. I also realized this girl has been more active in my vibration then i realized and i just hadn't noticed. So,she was someone I was subconsciously insecure of even before the last two weeks of me having the dream and him not speaking to me and me now suspecting is he dating her. Honestly,the whole thing is weird. I can't see them together. The whole thing feels like some strange orchestrated thing because of my vibration. I never suspected,at least consciously for one moment he was into her until I started to realize a little I liked him and right before I realize I did like him.I guess what I'm trying to say is,it FEELS like something orchestrated in some surreal fashion by the universe or my fear beliefs or my subconscious..something like that to help me overcome things. Because,the whole thing just feels too wacky for me. He was so into me and obsessed with me and wanting a relationship with me,and then towards the point where I started to realize I like him,she starts coming into focus more(as in me somehow becoming aware of her) and then we randomly wayyyy too easily just stop speaking.

After this(when he stopped speaking to me),I basically upchucked a bunch of limiting beliefs i've had for years causing me to repeat patterns with guys that and then realized this girl played a part in my limiting belief,too. I cleared it and started to feel really confident about myself. It was as if I defeated the monster. I felt good,and grateful about life things and in the vortex. Then,today was a rough day,and had the picture incident happen tonight,and i can't help but feel like i'm stopping and noticing im in a dream. Maybe it's because I started to surrender before I decide to come post here,but somewhere along the time I had that dejavu,I did calm down and surrender after having a rotten day. Something about this whole experience now just feels orchestrated. It just feels too weird.

In which case,I am changing how I usually play this game. They say life is a game..normally,i like guy that likes me.we start to get close to something. i freak out. i get jealous in certain things and have all these repeating patterns play out. except right now,the game feels like it's on pause. instead of me dramatically freaking out,it feels like i gently pushed. he wayyyyyy too easily stopped speaking to me.i had my issues come up but instead of fighting them,i worked through them. i cleared them. And,this time,instead of things moving in a way where it had felt in the moment too hard to change in the moment,this time it feels all sort different. like i'm caught being the observer,the dreamer and am having a chance to say hang on,wait,i see what i'm doing. something's going on. i'm able to catch myself in the moment. I can't help but feel like i'm getting savvy.This is NOT a coincidence. I truly feel this was divinely orchestrated. And,that i'm somehow catching that right now. It's as if this girl and this guy were like beams of light observed into my reality as if all of this is just going on in a room like a tv screen . it sounds nuts and it's hard to explain in words. What I should say is i have a strong,eerie,feeling/knowing that this him and her stuff and me and him the last two,three weeks came up the way it did FOR me. For a reason. To help me. This sounds crazy and I feel crazy,but it's like an experience i had a few years ago,where everyone felt like angels and my co-stars conspiring to play out my story for me and to help me.I had a strong sense of dejavu and the experience felt very surreal but it was more high vibration since it was me manifesting a desire i really wanted. This experience feels more like a helping thing. This is just so weird. i meant to ask about dejavu and ended up writing this and realizing this,which sounds crazy,but just feels so right,and accurate. It's like something clicked in me to bring this higher awareness. The thing both experiences have is they seemed to bring me a shift in my perception of things and broke me free from limiting thoughts i had been having for years! Or,maybe this is all crazy and i'm just looking for meaning in pain,idk. But,somehow the pain had went away and i just surrendered and that's when all this feeling just came to me. It's like a combination of feeling oneness and love with everything yet living in a subjective universe.

I had not been surrendering much in some time. And,all it took was me just surrendering just a little bit to have this experience. Maybe I should pay attention to dejavu more. Maybe it'll trigger me to surrender more and have a higher awareness and love for all the events in my life.