GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-deciding to snack tonight and not care since i have to stay up all night and to use it to keep me going, buying jalapeno cheetos, ordering dominos etc
-drinking water
-taking care of my skin
-eating a lot less food lately
-finding out i am a new donor at the other place i was donating at
-deciding i really have to let go of knowing what happened with neighbor guy i liked because there is just nothing happening. he ghosted me suddenly. there was some stuff i did, he was giving some signs of being a certain way possibly and there may be another girl and i can't tell if she came right at the same time as me, right after, or was around the whole time. I just know i felt something real, he was nice to me then he completely disappeared and even my desire to "poke the bear" though safely so gets no response. its like he may have blocked me, but i feel like he may not have, and he still follows me on ig, and i think he monitors his following a little not that i think that means a lot but the whole thing is a little weird, but mostly just unfair, because clearly it's something where he just doesn't want to bother saying anything to me which is hurtful and i think that's either spite or trouble communicating. and, it hurts because it makes me think he wasn't that interested and he didn't like me as much as i thought and why do other guys like me so much then someone like him not that interested, even though he did seem very interested at one point. i hardly knew him and it wasn't fair he just ghosted me since we were talking like acquaintances and neighbors for awhile before we hung out
-my clean, cozy blanket
-that after today's court i can start sleeping normally again
-my new brown duster sweater cardigan
-getting some things done tonight and with the next few hours i have this morning before court
-seeing M's husband the other day and how great that felt. It uplifted my mood. He dropped off some painkillers and there was no awkwardness or negative vibes and we talked about the feral cats or about 20-30 minutes
-my face slimming out
-my body slimming out
-my clothes fitting looser
-how great it felt to have a normal moment with M's husband dropping by, just knowing he was there again, it felt so in the flow like everything will be ok i just have to go with the flow.
-showering today
-being told i was young the other day
-being told i was beautiful the other day
-being told i "they've been waiting for that" referring to kissing me by someone all these 3 comments by different people
-watching movies and how comforting that can be
-my angel friend J the author cash-apping me $50 over the weekend
-how receptive B cat is to me
-being told i have a feminine voice by someone, or very feminine voice or something like that
-being a pretty girl
-my face starting to look more and more attractive again
-my lips looking really nice
-having really nice eyes
-having nice cheekbones
-good lighting
-newness
-having great style
-botox
-taking my omegas vitamins
-being smart
-my new journal
-doing written affirmations
-getting the cat tunnel playpen for my cat's so we can go outside without them jumping too far or risky
-cleaning wipes
-taking notes
-my femininity
-taking care of my spirit
-my beauty
-my maturity
-ideas
-flavors of fall season
-learning
-powerades
-remembering my roots again
-becoming more attractive
-hair ties
-calmness
-healing
-feeling like little by little my life will return to normal
-remembering flow of life, and trying to go with it
-being a thoughtful person
-new experiences