CF's dream diary

[Pneumismatic]

I got up in the middle of the night and went back to sleep- I then had about three dreams, that seemed to follow each other.

Three dreams, describing the gradual transformation resulting from the shift of the dreamer's point of view in three steps:

Dream 1:

1. from shallow ego, lamenting the loss of connection with the ancient core, which is very good because the only way to solve a problem is to first admit the painful truth that there is a problem, the ignorance of which is represented by the darkness (As "whatsoever makes manifest is light" so whatever hides a thing is 'darkness') of the core, into the dark core itself, a journey referred to by Saint John of the Cross in his unparalleled masterpiece, The Ascent of Mt. Carmel as "The Dark Night of the Soul" which causes what formerly appeared to be true "illumination" and familiarity, reveal itself to be poorly contrived darkness and stagnation. This release of inferior beliefs in order to grasp superior truth is always accompanied by a poignant "melancholy" because it entails the loss of the transient egotistical story, to make way for the intransient eternal truth. This has been referred to in various places as an "existential crisis," or "identity crisis," and is to be treated as such, with the greatest of tenderness.

Dream 2:

2. In the second dream the relationship of the dreamer to the ancestral becomes closer by 1/3. Instead of being in the grandmother's house the dreamer is in the mother's house, thus the dreamer's vast unexplored expanses are steadily becoming a 'small world' so to speak. The formula for the degrees of the separation between the dreamer and the Ancient is therefore: Dream1 - 3 Degrees of separation, dreamer is in grandmother's house [ 1. ego, 2. mother, 3. grandmother], Dream 2 - 2 Degrees of separation, dreamer is in mother's house [1. ego, 2. mother], Dream 3 - Union, as there is no such thing as one degree of separation as any numbers that are one degree away from their neighbors will be touching their neighbors ["1" touches "2" whereas "1" does not touch "3" because "2" is between "1" and "3"]. There also appears a parallel development hinted at by the relational shifting, namely, the integration of the projected stories or personas of "my grandmother" and "my mother" into the interior of the dreamer's psyche. This is represented by death, as when a projected image, such as a movie, disappears from the screen, that's 'the end of it'. From the point of view of the Self, images and meaning are either outside or inside, projected or integrated and if they are projected they are 'alive' but when they are integrated they 'die' because they cease to have a life of their own outside the walls of the dreamer's psyche. (This is another way of describing the loss of a complex, which is primary marker of progress in most modern effective psychology. Whoever loses a complex gains the essence of the complex by default, which is a prize to be most sought after.)

Thus, initially the dreamer is comforting her mother over her grandmother's 'death', which parallels the 3 Degrees of separation, leading to the integration by the dreamer of her grandmother's persona, the loss of her 'grandmother complex' and the gain of her grandmother's real essence. Next, the dreamer's mother dies, which is not expressly stated because "It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter," nor would The Dreamweaver insult the dreamer's intelligence. Nonetheless, this 'death' is sufficiently highlighted by the parenthetical statement, "(where she and my grandmother lived in the last part of their lives)" because the verb "lived" is rendered in the past tense, implying that both are now 'dead.' As well, "the last part of their lives" is actually redundancy of the death motif we could interpret mathematically as two death, one for the grandmother, and one for the mother. Therefore, the dreamer integrates her mother's persona, loses her 'mother complex' and gains her mother's real essence. This parallels the 2 degrees of separation. This is her unmentioned comfort she recieves as it is her turn to be comforted. The next 'death' to occur is that of the ego. This is what is meant by the statement, "then the environment changed" In the real world, the only way for one's environment to change is for the individual to get up and move, which tells us that the dreamer's identity has shifted from the ego complex to the Self, Oversoul, Holy Ghost, Higher Self, etc. This is the central part of the middle dream, the cube within a cube, the Holy of Holies, The Holy Spirit coming into His Temple, as we are told, "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?" No doubt the Apostle Paul here spoke to those who had already been through this process. This process takes on a stop and start character for the dreamer as initially she only 'thinks' she woke up, then proceeds to vacillate between waking and sleeping states, which no doubt contain just as much meaning as the images themselves, representing the unique struggle to understand her new relationship to everything and to assimilate the fact that "The length and the breadth and the height of it are equal," as a perfect cube should be, as the real Holy of Holies was a perfect cube. From Wikipedia: "The Holy of Holies was located in the westernmost end of the Temple building, being a perfect cube: 10 cubits by 10 cubits, by 10 cubits. The inside was in total darkness and contained the Ark of the Covenant, gilded inside and out, in which was placed the Tablets of the Covenant." Please note that it was in total darkness, as the dreamer's environment is "so dark it was impossible to see," in the first dream.

Dream 3:

3. The dreamer is in her own house, Her own Mind, as "the wise man's eyes are in his head" not the mind her grandmother told her she had when she was little, nor the personality (or name) her mother told her she had when she was young and impressionable, but a full-ownership, completely actualized occupation of being. The dreamer realizes that she is rich beyond her wildest dreams because within Her lie the true gems of wisdom. This is Individuation, Self-programming, and realization of all sovereignty residing presently in the Self, not the past. This is a commentary on Individuation, on letting the Self, or Higher Self, or Holy Ghost, or Oversoul be you, thus becoming IT, no longer the tiny picture boxed in by a frame, but the frame itself, connected with everything else that is outside the picture, with infinity, with the deepest heritage of the past, matriarchal, represented here by the great grandmother, and patriarchal, yet somehow continuing to contain the picture, which enhances the feeling of being rich even more.

Much more may be said about these dreams, however, I will finish by commenting on some interesting tidbits in brackets "[ ]" below as I believe enough has been said to 'get the picture':

I got up in the middle of the night and went back to sleep- I then had about ["about"="around"="circular"="Circumambulatory" = "Whole" i.e. dreams of wholeness] three dreams, that seemed to follow each other. [following each other, circumambulatorily, as those who walk in circles follow each other, cyclically or in spiral patterns]

In the first one I was in my grandmother's house, the one she lived in when I was a child. My great grandmother lived there until I was around 17, [A Round 8(1+7) = Whole] when she passed. The house was subdivided ["subdivided"='cut asunder'= 'dead,' mind is dissociated, prima materia, common clay, lead] (in the dream) in a cube-within a cube- the core was dark, so dark it was impossible to see, [Holy of Holies] and the surrounding was illuminated [false light]. My grandmother was looking for her mother (my abuelita) and she couldn't find her. I was helping her look for her in the darkness. I felt the same melancholy I felt all day and I don't know if this feeling caused the dream or if it illustrated something that's happening (perhaps in my head). In the dream I had the rote that my grandmother was alive but my abuelita was dead. (side note: I have seen my abuelita in projection in this 'house', and it's not 'where' she was before.
I then woke up realizing both my grandmother and great grandmother are no longer here. [foreshadowing of assimilation, dissociations of mind/house healed]

Then I dreamt I was in my mother's house (where she and my grandmother lived in the last part of their lives) and she was crying over my grandmother's death. It was a similar context- she was 'alive' [projected outward by the dreamer as opposed to integrated by the dreamer] and my grandma was 'dead' [integrated and owned by the dreamer as opposed to egotistically projected and disowned], in this more recent environment. I was initially there to comfort her, but then the environment changed. [dreamer's point of view shifts, oversoul is exchanged for another oversoul, new Archetype is activated in dreamer's mind] I think I woke up and went back to sleep a few more times, [struggle between old oversoul and new Archetype for dreamer] but in this part of the dream, her house became a huge mansion that looked like a theme-park 'haunted mansion', will lots of 'fake' special effects- a closet with holographic 'scary goblins' that were more fun than anything, and a bunch of different artifacts, 'Harry Potter' style 'magic' stuff that revealed itself to be special effects; and I wondered how much money she spent to 'pimp out' the place. [Dreamer can now truly See] I knew this was for my benefit, because I love ["Love" X1] the haunted house motif and her and I had always a shared love ["Love" X2] of all 'paranormal' motifs, from the horror ["from the horror" = of the original deception in dream 1] to all the 'Forteana' type of stuff [i.e. truly spiritual matters, Pun on 'Forte' as well, i.e. 'onward to a climax,' forshadowing dream 3]. At the end of this dream I am very hungry ['Food' X1, spiritual hunger for true spiritual food] (which makes sense, because I didn't eat ['Food'X2] last night) [hadn't ever had true spiritual food before] and am looking for something to eat ['Food' X3] in her huge kitchen.['Food' X4] In it I find all kinds of prepackaged 'typical criollo' favorites ['Food' X5, i.e. good (god) food], and some I'd never seen before, ['Food' X6 "I'd never seen before" alludes to prior spiritual blindness] but looked yummy. ['Food' X7] I don't think I ate. ['Food' X8(number of wholeness) didn't eat/achieve wholeness yet because dream three is where that occurs.]

Then I went to another dream in which everything was beautiful and full of gold and jewels. [True Sight is beautiful, and makes everything look beautiful because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everything is a miracle because it's a miracle that there is anything at all] I received a bunch of diamonds [spiritual treasures, soul fragments, dissociated complexes] (I think my mother was there, but I don't think she gave them to me- this part is fuzzy, it could have been her but I don't remember her giving them to me). [mother is old oversoul, still in the background, but "fuzzy," fading away] I then half awoke [moves away somewhat from old oversoul, volitionally] and started coughing because I had what felt like rocks [spirits, words] in my mouth. I spit one out and it looked like the diamond I had been given in the dream. I then held on to it and went back to sleep, knowing it was a hypnopomp, but holding on to it nonetheless. [the spiritual is now as important to the dreamer as the physical] I then slept some more and had more 'diamond' dreams. [more treasure acquired, mind is one, re-solved, transformed into gold from lead] When I woke up [fully awake, as opposed to "half awoke"] my hand was still closed in a fist, but there was nothing in it. [The 'nothing', the Spirit, has become the 'Something' to be gripped, full inversion from original position has occurred. Hold on tight! ]
So I got up. [Spiritual Ascension, awake "from the dead," new Archetype fully activated, truly Alive, truly Eternal]