Let me see if I understand (likely I don't).
When a person 'draws a line in the sand', that means it is not to be crossed - it sets a limit. Are you saying or complaining that you do not have a 'line in the sand', that your eyes are closed so you set no limit.
I also wonder if you feel you go through life something like a secretary, disinterested, but taking notes for what goes on - like taking the minutes of a meeting?
I'm struggling here, but I think there is something important in your entry, and I'm sure I don't know what it is.

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