I know why I had this dream last night, it must have bean triggered because my sister called me, and asked me if I am going to go to the big party what our first cousin is throwing up for his husband, for his 50 year birthday-party.

I told her as it is…if I am in this shape I am now, I am not going to go, but if I feel better then I might, but there is a big problem, I do not have any car but she said that can be arranged…..so the dream was like this….

I was with my x husband L..we where going to be married again…he asked me if I am sure now…I said…yes I can promise you to stay with you from now on…he said…stay with me…and I felt the deep meaning of his question….yes I said..whatever happens I will not divorse you again…but I said…I can not promise you the wedding night because we have not had any time to slowly again learn to know each others…and it will sure come later…he did be satisfyed with that answere and he went out to do some arrend…I went to bed, I was exhausted…he come back home in company with a mutual friend to us… I did have had a brief affair with this man after my divorse from L…he this man said…oh ia I see your dark curly hair, I have many pictures of that head on my pillows…I did feel at once…what did I promise to L…I feel awful, I can´t re- marry him again…I felt so embarresed and in shame…

This dream show me much about me, I make hasty decissions in the moment of now, but do not realize the consequenses of my decissions, what cause and effect they have in the long run…
This sure make me to start to see life differently and to consider my options more careful before making any choises, it matters how you decide, what out come it gives…it is very clear how easy it is to make easy choises but it has bigger effect than I could ever imagen.

Time to start to take more responsibillity and not make hasty decissions.