not my best day,lots of emotions of various things such as sad news things online and another fight with D and mind wandering but determined to raise that vibe up!
-all the fruit smoothies i've been making lately. today is blackberry. it's fun to try new things and to live life like it's a spa
-the amazing ab definition i am getting and seeing when i look in the mirror
-sleep
-meeting my goal of cleaning all the rooms i wanted to get to yesterday night of my place
-meeting my goal of doing all the yoga i wanted to do last night. and that i love exercise so much that i think how can i get more in and do more
-how flexible my body is becoming and that i'm already pretty flexible
-how amazing my side legs,thighs.and hips are looking. so smooth,and toned,and sculpted and body flaws disappearing! it's amazing. i was sitting in yoga and looked in phone as a mirror at that parts of my body and felt very confident and sexy at the appearance. it is true a stringent toning regimen strong routine is what my body needed to turn it into my ideal body. again,if only i didn't repress this years ago!
-my dreams and desires becoming bigger. thinking of exotic travels i want to go to
-my desire to connect and share closeness
-my kind and sensitive heart
-being a woman
-being feminine
-being sexy
-another fight with D. not grateful for that. he has been weird these last few days. after giving me attitude then claiming he was just at work saturday evening then sunday all seemed well enough and he said he wanted to go to dinner too when we go out again then said something about making out and i just replied with lol and asked how he was doing today and then sent a flirty text and he ignored me all night! he never does this. then i had a nightmare with signs and in it and he was in it,and he texted me in the morning saying he was busy and responding to the flirty part of the message to which i told him we won't go out saturday and we had a big fight and he was the meanest he's ever been to me! i don't know what's gotten into him. he was saying personal things making me feel stupid and crazy and saying i treat him like an a--hole and saying we will talk about it in person and when i said i won't be talking to him anymore,him saying yes i will because i'm seeing him this saturday. by the end he said i am really mean sometimes.i then told him i like him,i can't help it but i don't trust him and he even had the nerve to say i went to bed upset because he didn't reply. he said the dream i had was just a dream and was telling me it's not a sign and it doesn't mean anything. by the end,he said he is sorry and will never intentionally ignore me and then said to not worry he is not going to lie to me,or ignore me or abandon me. the tarot cards i pulled on him last night and today show he is dangerous,controlling,possibly abusive. but,i dont know if i even believe in tarot.i think it's just something to play with. i am still getting weird signs.i dont know why we fight so much. but he's definitely been acting weird these last few days like he's irritable and i feel like he was testing me by not responding all this time especially since two days ago or so,i told him i'm not a clingy person and why people should embrace being alone and that i like being detached. he sure knows how to say stringing things at times,that's for sure accusing me of going to bed upset at him.i appreciate that the fight is over with. sometimes i worry that he could be abusive and know abuse starts with manipulation and breaking someone down in the beginning little by little. but,then i wonder,could i even be the one who is abusive?
-food and nourishment
-warm showers
-my floor
-style and fashion
-my hair
-house music
-wellness and healing
-the color purple. in a very purple mood.
-my tastes in things
-beauty
-inspiration
-fruit
-coffee
-moisturizers for face and body
-vitamins
-that i can go tanning tomorrow to get my happiness boost
-metaphysics
-things coming together with future goals
-energy
-my career
-dancing
-motivation
-notebook for to do lists and utilizing that to get more done and manage time better
-positive psychology
-being smart