-music
-getting an answer from B even if it was hurtful and a lie and he then ignored me after all the messages i sent after and he deleted me from facebook,too by the time i awoke. he is punishing me. it is amazing to me how something going so well could change so suddenly.
-all the people i chatted with today. going out of my way to text people and chat them and them chat and text me helps when things are in limbo or over with someone.i talked to anyone who would listen. it helped me get some perspective on B being so weird.i even chatted with a woman he knows and doesn't like to try and figure him out. everyone has been so nice,and the perspective and honest way based on what they see was helpful.i even talked to my friend E who is B's friend too for perspective. everyone seems to think B is a serious,chill,shyer less experienced guy. it's mind blowing how weird he is to me and apparent he has sex issues and is freaked out by it.
-deciding to post my status on fb about how i feel. it's good to post things sometimes about how you feel,and also it helps people remember you,and sometimes brings people to talk to you.i want to get more and more fearless with that
-my beautiful new profile picture and how goregeous i look in it,and that those pictures grew on me
-how great best friend can be with energy work and reminding him that not telling me what he does makes it stronger
-going tanning today
-laughing at the ridiculous and pain of how B has treated me because that's all you can do sometimes
-how amazing my body looked today
-my sense of style
-my beauty
-snacks. since my appetite is big today.
-coffee
-heater guy coming to fix heat again today
-remembering spiritual principles of manifesting to bring me calm and maturity and i surrender to all that is going on
-people
-baby talk
-the art of detachment
-conversations
-my hair
-my face
-laughing and in wonder at how much has changed since this time last month..it's insane i went from boo-hooing about D to all about B and now tonight talking to D again a somewhat good amount and boo hooing about B,all in the exact one month time frame.i don't want D,but was just bored and texting anyone who would talk back. it's sort of whoa how much can change in a whole month
-knowing for a fact B can't get any other girls so it's really his loss how he is being. And,that woman i talked to even said she heard B brought a date(me)to that one party because a girl told her and it was apparently a big deal for B to do something like that and surprising to everyone. why he would want to lose that is amazing to me.
-that it's mercury retrograde which means B and I ending is unlikely to stick just like me talking to D is not too surprising based on it being merc retrograde.
-empowerment
-being sexy
-vodka
-even talking to my mom today about this b.s from B.
-future possible plans
-things i want to try and do and maybe it'll be nice to take a mini break from B anyways for perspective. my love life is quite strange these days.
-being easy on myself-
-relaxation
-healing modes available to me
-being honest with my feelings
-loving myself
-being honest with my vulnerabilities
-curiosity about other blessings that will come to me now
-amazing men speaking up about things against the porn industry and masculine men who respect women and masculine men who respect animals