Lonecrow, we dream a lot of things that never happen and that don't seem to be part of how we express ourselves in physical reality. If it stays with us, like your dream has stayed with you, it gets us considering possibilities we might not have otherwise considered. It's possible your subconscious has thrown up something for you to explore for your own personal development and in order to have a deeper and better relationship with your partner.
It could also be what Robert Bruce describes as a neg trying to attach through a core image, manipulating you through fear. Either way, it's troubling you and that's an invitation to do some work on yourself.
I think a lot about how we love people and they love us. Love is a natural and spontaneous thing, of course, but largely its expression is something we learn culturally. Thus, it comes with all sorts of notions and expectations. This is all right as a starting point but it's limiting too. Ideas of soul mates are very romantic but potentially insidious too if you think about it. Any ideology about love has the potential to be, well, smothering.
If you look at literature from days of old (and not so old) you can see this. Ideas of love as ownership, blind duty, desperate self-negation, irresponsible, mindless dependence, etc. Sometimes easy to judge because of social/cultural distancing though, of course, such notions of love are still alive and kicking, possibly hiding under new ideologies. It's not so easy to interrogate more current belief systems about love and how they may, possibly, serve less than loving agendas.
Dreams like yours can be wonderful because they can help us love more consciously.
"A dream is a question, not an answer."
(Therapist and dreamworker Strephon Kaplan
Williams)
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