I am truly sorry about the triggering, I did not think. I just impulsively wrote the thread after seeing the film. It just gets me down that I had so little to feel good about then. I had no hobbies or skills or interests aside from books and films, no sports I was good at or much to derive esteem from. Not much friends I felt relaxed with. I mean running away over a film seems so nuts but it felt like it was all I had. I know you guys aren't free counselers or whatnot so thanks for letting me ramble. Sorry it was triggering and nasty.