As years went by, and as I started to become more conscious of my unconsciousness, I began to realize that all of my life I have been waiting for people to love and approve of who I was, and of what I was doing, just so that I could start loving myself as well. I needed the world to confirm to me that I was worthy before believing that that was true.
I guess this can happen in a world where most of us look outside ourselves for all the things we think are missing from within ourselves – love and approval being few of them.
(...)profound and meaningful experiences that made me realize, once again, how much pain we inflict on ourselves in those moments when we by perceive ourselves as not being worthy of love and approval. And how unhealthy it is to think of ourselves as being undeserving of all the good things life has to offer us.
If we live our lives from a place of fear, lack and insecurity, thinking that we need to prove our worth to those around us for as long as we live, through everything we do and all that we are, we will continue to inflict a lot of pain and suffering onto ourselves and those we love.
There is nothing about you lacking. Nothing about you that needs to be improved and approved by those around you. And even though we live in a world that encourages you to do and to buy all kind of things that will add more “value” to who you already are, it’s so important not to fall into the trap of looking outside yourself for all the things that can only be found within yourself. It’s so important not to fall into the trap of thinking that there is something seriously wrong with you and that you need to get love and approval from those around you in order for you to feel better about yourself. You really don`t need to add anything to your life, or get any more love and approval from those around you, in order for you to feel this way.
So why look outside yourself for something that is already within you? Why beg for love from those around you when there’s an abundance of love within you, when within you lies all the love, appreciation, approval and affection you need and desire?
And know that no matter where you’ve been, no matter how many battles you had to fight, and no matter how much darkness you had to face, you are not flawed. You are not broken.
“Seeing into darkness is clarity. Knowing how to yield is strength. Use your own light and return to the source of light. This is called practicing eternity.” ~ Lao Tzu
It is time to start looking for love and approval in all the wrong places. It is time to look within. Don’t look outside yourself for all those things you think are missing from your life. Look within.
Article:
How to no longer take things personally:
Always do the things you feel in your heart that you are meant to do, and don’t give too much thought about what others might have to say about you. Never make other people’s opinions of you more important than your own opinion of yourself. Keep in mind that your job here on this Earth is to be true to yourself.
Don’t take it personally. Don’t make their pain your pain. Don’t make their darkness your darkness. Help them if you can, by giving them your love, compassion and understanding, and by helping them understand that love is their true nature, while fear is nothing but an illusion. And if that’s something you can’t do, make sure you don’t feed their pain by reacting in unkind and unloving way, and by confusing the behavior with the person, for that would only create more suffering into their lives, and into your own life.
Never allow the pain that might be created to make you hate. Never allow resentment to pour through your system, continuing to poison your heart long after you have been “bitten by the snake.”
Even though most of us believe that forgiveness is an act of weakness, the truth of the matter is that forgiveness is an act of strength not of weakness. You don’t forgive because you are weak but because you are strong enough to realize that only by giving up on resentment you will be happy…. And the bigger person always forgives. Not necessarily because they think that the other person deserves it, but because they know that they themselves do.
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