it is a little hard quitting the yoga studio. after all the mess last year when best friend broke the news to me,this was the "normal" job i found and upon my first time walking in i felt so happy,and just knew. i just knew i had to work there. it was my happy thing and has been my zen place ever since. and ever since i made the decision that this would be my last month,i started seeing G again,the client i found really hot and was the first guy i found hot after everything and who seemed like he might've been flirting with me. today was great,in that he came in. and my boss wasn't there. and it was was as if we vibed again but in a different way. upon leaving,he was adorable,polite,and seemed tongue tied,and said something about " as well" i think saying he'll seem me the next day i work as well. he remembers my name,complimented my hair,and remembers my work schedule so he's definitely been present with me,and has interest it could be as if we are friends,even though we've barely had any conversations,maybe like 3-4 short ones in the last almost a year now. i will miss him,and just feeling that vibe today both made my mood soar and yet also broke my heart a little,too. i tried not liking him. and,i've realized it's not even because of this/that/this that i did like him,that was just pretext. i just genuinely feel and had felt really drawn to him. i have one more day left and maybe i'll see him and i had the thought maybe i should drink before shift so i know how to talk. lol. besides him,i feel geuninely that my boss is someone i could be friends with. i'm not worried about that though,as it seems we've started to connect a bit outside of work. and since she is friends with him,who knows,maybe that could even link me and him together later down the line. i quit because i felt i got all i got out of being here. my boss has said i'm welcome to come back anytime so maybe this will even just be temporary and i'll come back in a few months. i just feel like if you want something different,you have to do different,and if you want something to happen,sometimes you have to give it a deadline to happen,and change is life and you should never be afraid of it,it's good to practice that because it helps you to be more detached and when you give something space,you give room for something new to flow in. It's good to not get in a rut,and to let yourself change directions a bit every now,and then,it helps you sail life a bit better.
-positive inner knowings
-seeing G again. it's so weird how all of a sudden towards the end of my time here he shows up again. he was something that made me happy so i am grateful for him. i think going through this,and even feeling tongue tied and flustered is a part of growing and learning. it may suck and feel hopeless,but eventually it'll get right,and the things that will make me happy will fall into place.
-bringing T kitten in room with me for a bit and cuddling and how funny he is
-sweet soda
-having house to myself for a little bit this morning
-water
-coffee
-becoming more social media confident
-the amazing weather today
-sunshine
-positive people
-uber
-weight going down
-all the money i'm earning. i checked the portal of one thing i'm working through and it is so exciting to see
-brownie bites
-pictures
-colored pencils
-coloring in my mandala coloring book for a bit today
-meditation
-connection. no matter what,i feel a connection with my boss and G. i dont know why i cant just consider them both friends. they are not strangers.
-my phone
-fashion
-my eyeglasses
-support
-TV episodes online
-donkey kick exercises
-reflection
-makeup
-ginger
-hot tea
-relaxation
-becoming more surrendered again. i don't know what it is lately,but i just feel like i'm becoming more and more like myself
-doing a spiritual intention seeding exercise the other night
-relaxing music
-art
-new experiences
-ideas
-creativity
-oneness
-writing
-quiet
-desires. having a strong one to go to new mexico lately.
-deep cleansing breaths
-colors
-pictures
-having a dental cleaning tomorrow
-emotions
-touch
-smiling
-nourishment
-cleaning my dishes
-my bed
-hope
-being able to imagine things i couldn't for awhile that are what would make me happy
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