I wanted to know your opinion.
It's about the strange situation I was put into recently.
Seriously, I use magic very often recently- because it is now a must for me. Literally it's for survival, as the title of this topic says. I use magic partly for strengthening, partly for the personal defense...
The previous year I had a really wonderful time. Then one girl appeared in my life. I didn't like her from the beginning; I felt a negative influence from her. I avoided her. But she didn't avoid me...
But soon after I stopped seeing her (and never seen her since then), my life so far started to break... becoming a ruin. Almost everything started to work in the wrong direction, in one month or so!
First, I lost my friends. Second, I lost my love, possibly destiny (I'm pretty sure about this). Third, I lost my life way. Fourth, I got the worst time in my life. And to top it all, fifth, I started to be under attack by negative spirits - actually powerful demons. I had a lot of nightmares about them, attacking me many nights.
Almost every night I use magical protection from the demons. Because of that, in the time period of few months I felt I became very powerful because of this. The side-effect is that now the demons cannot attack me directly any more. So now they use manipulation instead: pretending higher spirits (which I learnt to recognize anyway - usually), or using other people against me.
These demons didn't appear just by themselves; the inquiry revelead someone, the woman, used (or is still using) black magic against me due to being jelous. And unfortunetely, it's surprisingly efficient. Really no idea how could this be so powerful?
I did many rituals since then. Things started to work better. But they didn't recover everyhing I've lost. The black magic effects still work, apparently, as I have many "dark" dreams; not the direct nightmares, as they stopped appearing - especially after I got very ill 3 months ago (at the end of July this year) out of sudden and out of nowhere, and then took no food for a week, and could do nothing but laying and sleeping - having no power at all. I've never been that sick in my entire life so far - and there was no apparent reason for that at all, even no symptoms! I just felt I lost all my energy. Just couldn't do anything but sleeping for 7 days or so,
Then I had this enormously strange dream: about powerful shamans (apparently not human beings! too powerful for that, and too strange) in a dark area, performing some odd (and powerful in look) rituals. Suddenly I started to feel much better; my energy returned; I became healthy in a 1 day. My family had no idea what was happening to me - neither had I! Since then I got enormous power that I feel now. And no more nightmares since then.
From that day my mind (mental skills) started developing at the amazing pace; they did so previously, but now the pace seems to be enormous! I've got no idea where does it come from. Along with my mental skills increasing, my inner power which I feel do as well as I mentioned. My emotions are becoming too strong now - it's like driving a super-speed car, and just one small mistake costs me a lot! Many accidentally met people probably are now scared because of me - I'm not looking scarry, but when looking into my eyes. And the other people are looking at me in this strange peircing way, like they were trying to get something out of me, like something was different - and I'm not aware of what it is.
However, all of that only made an inner change, not outern; the dreams, although often still dark, are no nightmares. Since the july I never met a demon in a dream, or in any other circumstances now, to my surprise. Evil spirits are there still, I sense them; just not afraid of them at all. In one dream I challenged their leader (which looked as the most ugliest creature I ever seen in my life), and although very skillful, it was in a big fear, afraid to "fight" (by using powers, of course) with me directly.
My power is increasing every week, sometimes every day. I.e. each week I feel mentally stronger for some reason I'm quite not aware of now.
But black magic still works against me I think. Not sure why. I doubt if she was such a powerful mage - she didn't look like this. Yet, the effects are still there, and not sure what to do about them anymore.
Any ideas? Hints? Thoughts to share on this "clash of magic"?
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