SeveraI years ago I had a number of dreams related to qabbalah, particularly learning it. But I never did this - I mean I've bought some few books, but it never held my attention for long. It seemed very abstract, and maybe overly intellectual. Although I always thought that there's some important idea hidden in it. I know many other people reacted to qabbalah like me, never actually managing to learn it.

Then I forgot about it, until recently... Few months ago again a book on qabbalah was offered to me in the dream, with suggestion that it consists of everything what is needed to know.

And until this night...

Dream about a "qabbalah-like" game

Before dream I requested to give me some ideas about my life purpose, but the dream surpised me totally... This dream was very symbolic in quite abstract sense.

I was hanged in some astral or beyond-astral realm, being one of players in some big game. This game was supposed to be a part of a process of existence, or something.

The board was very specific: similar to the qabbalah tree, but different in the sense that it had not 2 edges (bottom and top) as in the qabbalah tree, but 4 sides - like 4 world directions. So it was kind of cross, consisting of many dots-circles, inside looking like a light spots (just like spheres in qabbalah), which were the only elements that constituted this board. They were on the edges and in the middle of the cross. Each of those spots was occuppied by one player. And the board was enormously big. I think there was at least a few dozens of players... but I might be wrong.

Except the dots (places), which always stayed the same, in the same position, the game was mainly about the cards. These cards were similar in a look to the major arcana from the Tarot of Marseilles deck. Each of the cards represented something profound in a cosmic sense. Not sure what exactly... but it seemed like representing some cosmic qualities or powers, possibly like spheres in qabbalah or major arcana in tarot...

The game seemed to be not related to the Earth plane, but rather to cosmos - this was my feeling... i.e. it seemed that it wasn't about a particular incarnation, but beyond any incarnations. I didn't have a body there, I only sensed personalities, including mine. Everything was a pure thought there. However, the existence of anyone seemed to be an aggregation of thoughts: so beings (people? possibly) with the strongest personalities had also strongest thoughts, and had biggest aggregations of thoughts... Having no thoughts meant to not existing. I also learnt that having strong personality (i.e. strongest thoughts) there was not the same as having developed personality (wisest). (A comparison to physical bodies could be that the people having the biggest weight are not necesserily - and typically not - the strongest people).

I sensed the other players, their motivations etc. As I mentioned, everything there was a pure thought - so telepathic skills allowed to "see" through others. Nothing could be hidden there - except when the other had not sufficient ability to see you through.

The game wasn't about defeating other players - these were the cards which were in the center of attention of everyone. However, some players intrigued against others, so that they could possess some of the cards. I was barely aware what these cards were actually about... but they were the only valuable thing there: everything was about the cards, not about anything else, in the end.

I was given a position at the left corner of the "cross"; there were also 3 other corners, taken by more advanced players than myself: 2 women at the right and bottom, and one man at the top. And lots of other players somewhere in the middle between these 4 sides of the cross - each having a position in one of those spots. The man at the top seemed to be gentle and wise, like having a philosopher or taoist kind of mentality. The opposite spot, at the bottom edge of the cross, was taken by a woman of which I thought as having a "queen"-like mentality: dominating, possesive and manipulative. She was very good in this game, having probably the biggest number of cards (but this didn't mean she was the best player). She possibly could have the strongest "personality" there (i.e. the biggest aggregation of strongest thoughts from all the players that I identified).

But don't be mistaken by this simplified comparisons: everything seemed there to be quite complex and unobvious in the simple manner that typically a human mind wants it to be... I just make these comparisons to give you the idea what (quite blurred in fact) feelings I just had when experiencing this game... I wasn't aware of the whole board, there were many hidden things, possible to discoer.

Intrestingly, no one knew the rules of this game! I felt that I know virtually nothing about it, I sensed that I was weak in it, other players were more skillful than me. However, it seemed like everyone was just discovering the rules, and the best players knew maybe 10 or 15% of the game. So everything was possible for a perceptive player.

Also, no one seemed to know all the cards and entirely their meanings, despite the fact that all knew that everything was about the cards.

I just started this game, so I was a total noobie, only watching other players. I felt pretty helpless there, but I was hoping to deal somehow with this game. I was given two cards at the beginning - and I underestimated their meaning and this "gift". I didn't even paid attention to what cards I had, more engaged with studying the board itself and watching others...

I noticed one thing then about this game: it was all about awareness - putting your focus, i.e. it was purely mental game. Your consciousness, its range and decisions made were the "tools" which made any changes in the play.

In other words, those who operated best with their consciousness were the best players. And the game seemed to have no end at all, i.e. seemed to be eternal! Perhaps, until kind of "transcendency" happened to him or her? I don't know...

So the strategy for this game was to operate the resources of your own consciouness: if you paid attenation to one part of the board, you lost opportunity to pay attention to another part; if you focused only on one card, you lost opportunity to have idea abot the other cards on the board; on the other hand, if your attention was too disctracted, your thoughts had not enough power to influence the board - and if they did, you might have lost a better opportunity; if you paid attention to other players, you might miss some important cards or positions; if you didn't, you might be manipulated and influenced by others easily (what exactly happened to me then)...This is what I learnt during this game. Everything was related to the strategy of where you put your attention to and thus what decisions you make...

I sensed that the "queen" player was very manipulative and by her intrigue she has taken quite a lot of cards (maybe 7 or so, which was a lot in this game; even having 1 or 2 cards was considered to be special). And she wanted more, so she manipulated others in different ways, possessing more and more power for herself. I sensed that she spotted me - she wanted my cards. I even didn't know when, but I lost my two cards quickly, and then have been removed from the position at the left edge of the cross, mainly due to her manipulations.

Don't get me wrong: nothing in this game seemed to be personal, but everything rather impersonal. No revenge, actually no focus on the other players: winning meant developing yourself, not playing against the others. The "queen" player was also aware of that fact, however it was her playing-style to get easy cards in the biggest amount possible. She seemed to be more aware of what cards I had and their value than myself.

The cards in the game could move from one spot to another (but could not "jump" randomly on the board). In fact I think that they couldn't go too far, so it wasn't possible for the queen to just "take" from me my cards, so she had to plan in much longer term in order to gradually "attract" my cards to her position, which started first moving to the center of the cross, thus being possessed temporarily by the other players there - being probably not aware that these cards are going to taken from them just like from me by her manipulations...

I thought the game was over to me then. But it wasn't: I was just moved to another spot in the middle, closer to the center of the cross. My place at the left edge of the cross was taken by another, more skilfull, male player.

The game wasn't about these spots, but after that I learnt more about this game: that the corners of the cross must be special and give some (not sure what) privileges to players who occupy them - as long as they do. I wasn't aware of that until I lost that position. It seemed that these two cards were having some powers (which I wasn't aware of), and loosing them so thoughtlessly made me weak and unsecured my position at the edge. That's probably I was removed from that cross edge.

I sensed that the cards seemed to only give access to some possibilities (and it seemed like they represented some concepts - qualities which have no definite definition) - but it was up to the level of development of a player to get any benefits from it, in the degree relative to this development level. And since I was a noobie like I said, I had no benefits at all even when possessing potentially powerful cards.

But instead of worrying, I simply tried to figure a new position. I was aware of the fact that everything in this game wasn't granted forever, but was temporary and flowing all the time. So the flexibility was a very helpful characteristic there.

I also understood another rule of this game then: everything was about the range of consciousness. The edges of the crosses were very far from other players, but those in the middle were more "accessible" to various players. Those on the edges could be only manipulated indirectly - like it happened in my case, when I lost that position. The best players range was about just few spots from them; the worst players (like me) had some influence only on the closest spots from an occuppied position.

So it seemed that much in this game was about widening the range, thus having more influence over more "area", which in turn gave access to cards laying in the closest area. I also learnt that the more you focesed on one area or spot, the stronger influence you had: so strengthening your thoughts by focus meant influencing the boards, other players, cards, circumstances... What circumstances? Of having a card available to you.

(To give a comparison, try to imagine few people in a room with telekinetic skills, trying to influence a spoon at the same time: the ultimate effect to where it would move will be a resultant of all the forces / skills involved - actually unpredictable, and the only thing they could do was to use their will power to influence it, or influence something else indirectly then to influence the spoon move. This comparison gives the idea of how the queen could only indirectly deprived me of the cards, by the strategy of manipulating different players and forces around me when I was at that prominent position at the beginning).

Now I was closer to the queen player, being in the middle of the board. I looked at the bottom from myself: I sensed a few also quite weak players around. Now the queen lost interest in me: since I had no cards now and no prominent position, she didn't bother about myself any more - so it was a relief to me. New "boring" position was much safier - as now I wasn't in the center of attention of other players. And I must say that the "queen" was quite terrifying... not sure what she was able to do.

Fortunetely, since she lost an interest in me, focused on further manipulations with the other players, I could start planning my new strategy. In a way being close to that "queen", i.e. close to her range, seemed to give me some advantages - like ability to hiding better, as many other players also tried to avoid her and the area in her range... so being flexible, it made me safier there.

I looked around into the closest spots to me, i.e. being close to my "new" range, sensing some other players and some cards close to me. I was wondering what to do next.

And then one card grabbed all my attention, so I stopped looking anywhere else: I read the title of the card (the only card that I read in the dream): "Immortality". The card was quite close to me, available, and not in the interest of the queen at the moment, and the other players also didn't put a special attention to that card. But I did! In the moment when I spotted this card, occupying a spot so close to me, I became obsessed with it.

I felt that I could try to draw this card to me simply by strong focus on it: perhaps this is a reference to something like "power of thoughts" or "law of attraction". Now I stopped paying attention to anything else. I wanted that card badly! (Even if I was aware - from reading mind of the other player, particularly the "queen" and the "taoist" - that they valued the other cards more - but couldn't identify these cards yet with being too noobie for this game still).

In the short time span of this dream I leant quite a lot on this game. Still I felt that I'm a noobie, only wanting to win "something", until I spotted that card I mentioned, which took all my attention and focus at the end of the dream. Then I woke up.

Any ideas how to interpret this?