GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-my beauty
-having a new look
-positive people supporting others
-the day having a positive feel in the air
-my neighbor across the street calling me to come down and including me today
-cuteness
-having a caring heart
-pills to calm down
-nightskies
-air conditioning
-sleep
-good skincare products
-my dad cash-apping me some money
-fireworks
-water
-fun
-self forgiveness
-my new gucci purse
-physical exercise
-the weather feeling nicer outside
-my lip beauty products
-blankets
-pillows
-cleaning
-my new birthday baby pink roses
-kindness
-my neon heart lamp
-my balcony
-surrendering
-becoming more creative again little by little
-my intelligence
-my style
-figuring out how to make the apartment cooler with the a.c
-my arms slimming out
-having a unique model look
-being a creative

[buttercup]

-hope
-m's husband being back from the hospital and being ok
-H cat looking not too bad at all last time i seen him
-cuteness
-love
-hyaluronic acid
-being blonde now and how good it's been looking
-fashion
-my sense of style
-m being there for me once her husband got sick the last days and being nice and reasonable
-m giving me money the other day and taking me with her to class
-the decision i made to get undereye filler earlier in the month
-water
-xanax
-how vibrant colors and visually everything looks on xanax
-getting back to my fitbit walks
-air conditioning
-doing all my dishes tonight
-vegan sausage breakfast sandwiches
-that it seems like the disaster unemployment will be extended
-the starbucks frappucino drink i like made vegan with vanilla flavoring and a touch of raspberry and espresso shots
-nightskies
-my balcony
-humor
-friendly people
-makeup
-looking good without makeup
-yoga
-humor
-things that make smile
-appreciating the little things
-lip sleeping masks
-my beauty
-having a nice body
-feeling confident enough to wear a tank top outside the house today
-face rollers and eye massage
-my face looking very youthful today
-ibuprofen
-being proactive and taking activism causes for things i care about
-my burberry hoodie
-hairties
-inspiration
-art
-flowers
-beauty
-trees
-the sky
-holistic wellness and treatments
-getting some bills deferred

[buttercup]

-fashion
-body acceptance
-chargers
-water
-doing a fitbit walk today
-talking to M's husband today on the phone
-prayer
-reading a few pages of my new book
-xanax
-people finding me attractive
-working on forgiveness
-nightskies
-shorts
-the undereye filler i got earlier this month
-speaking up for myself in heated voicemails and email to building manager after getting a shady notice on my door
-being smart
-my hair color
-my abs starting to look more sculpted
-bug repellant spray
-air conditioning working better
-getting the chair i didnt want refunded
-my wit
-smiling
-flowers
-botox and filler
-being smart

[buttercup]

-making somewhat amends with D, the guy i was hooking up with last month
-water
-handwashing clothes
-getting that time of the month
-M's husband doing better and talking to him on the phone today
-standing up for myself
-H cat doing better
-yin yoga
-great deals
-listening to some solar plexus and theta beats music
-clothes being slightly looser today
-inspiration
-air conditioning
-peace
-being smart
-thinking for myself
-fillers and botox
-doing a smidge of dance cardio today
-my large rose quartz heart crystal
-entertainment

[buttercup]

-self-awareness
-trying to be objective
-coffee at home
-the weather being cooler
-having my a.c off
-injections, fillers, and cosmetic procedures
-stretching
-my new joggers
-weight going down and fasting getting easier
-vitamin c and zinc
-my balcony
-knowing i have resources to better myself, and my healing
-my retinol hand serum
-talking to M's husband on the phone
-deciding to turn to God and surrender
-cleaning
-getting groceries last night
-my endurance picking up and getting back on track with fitness again
-going for a walk with M last night and her friend
-focusing on my self-nourishment
-trying to trust God and let go
-deciding after some last reflection later tonight i'm going no contact with D, because he plays too many games and is trying to do things to make me feel jealous
-the sale i made on poshmark recently
-the last hookup i had with D last week when i turned to him. I told i wanted to be alliances and was ready to be friends. I was stressed about drama from neighbor across the street and he invited me over and i said as friends and we ended up hooking up and it was mostly really good.
-D's kisses. He's one of the best kissers.
-feeling a little better today
-having nice curves
-my confidence going up little by little and empowerment
-fashion
-eyeliner
-clean clothes
-water
-cleaning products
-self compassion
-thinking for myself
-compliments
-having nice hair
-being smart
-yoga
-cuteness
-being a giving person
-being kind

[buttercup]

-being strong
-prayer
-getting up to 5 miles again in walking
-clothes starting to fit a little better again
-seeing D downstairs seemed to be home all day today
-meditation
-clarity
-M's husband being done with his quarantine today
-doing laundry today
-getting my eyebrows threaded today
-getting pink balloons today
-fashion
-letting my confidence come back and sense of empowerment
-taking things one day at a time
-colors
-my gucci purse i bought this summer
-my balcony
-being able to leave my a.c off and the weather cooling off some
-nightskies
-my fabric refresh spray
-makeup
-sleep
-friendliness
-music
-cuteness
-water

[buttercup]

-my strength
-hope
-ativan
-naps
-walking 5 miles today
-things working out for my mom today
-the weather cooling off a bit
-fashion
-sleeping masks
-under-eye filler
-my fitbit
-clothes fitting better on me and looser
-getting enough funds in my account to write a rent check tomorrow
-water
-coffee
-colors
-having a great eye
-my rose face primer
-my retinol hand serum
-meditation
-prayer
-being kind
-being smart
-being forgiving
-my neon heart lamp
-blankets
-doing some reading in my book on forgiveness and trying to apply the principles in my mind
-buying some lip balms today
-sweeping the kitchen floor and cleaning the walls
-lysol spray
-self-compassion
-motivation
-taking things one day at a time
-massage
-mantras

[buttercup]

-healing
-air conditioning
-walking 5 miles
-my hair
-being peace
-mopping my kitchen floor
-fashion
-losing weight
-mailing a rent check today
-fashion
-being productive
-prayer
-meditation
-affirmations
-being smart
-showers
-water
-coffee
-progress on next relief bill finally starting to happen
-having a ride for tomorrow
-nice weather today
-music
-laughter
-charcoal toothpaste
-sportsbras
-colors
-how vivid colors are on xanax
-having nice curves
-self compassion
-getting better about taking my vitamins
-my fitbit
-support from others
-being a nice person
-hyaluronic acid
-my retinol hand serum
-art
-inspiration

[buttercup]

-staying strong
-staying logical
-being able to think for myself
-M's husband taking me out to lunch today
-my hair color
-my face looking slimmer
-hair ties
-my fashion sense
-having a kind heart
-my neon heart lamp
-sleep
-meditation
-reflection
-my new shirt from asos
-my gucci purse i wore today
-getting groceries and quarters today
-water
-coffee
-my pills
-buying myself some sunflowers
-air conditioning
-m getting me the lavender epsom bath salts
-ibuprofen
-having a great face
-the breeze at night
-physical exercise
-taking my vitamins
-prayer
-hearing how well H cat is doing
-taking advice i agree with
-mantras
-self compassion
-being productive
-laughter
-my beauty
-having a kind heart
-striving for peace
-having enough to pay off the rest of my rent for this month tomorrow
-smiling
-humor

[buttercup]

-D texting me angrily tonight saying he hasnt had any females over besides his mom and me. I told him i wasnt interested and apologized for some of the things i said. Strange how after i texted him not interested he only replied to one of my texts after that.Im grateful that he stepped up and said something. And for the relief that there was no females over and it was all in my head and i have no reason to be humiliated now by what neighbors could have seen. Also strange how he texted today. I sent him my vicious messages about 3 nights ago. Then on my balcony i seen him walking to the door. Shortly after, I got the messages from him.
-taking some extra pills to get me though the day after what happened last night that had me wanting to cry and praying to sleep
-sleep. i slept til 4pm. Not good. But, it felt good. And, i had a lot of vivid dreams.
-mikes hard lemonade and having some tonight
-doing laundry
-my great fashion sense
-meditation
-prayer
-journaling
-my rose quartz heart
-squats
-my face looking slimmer
-checking my mail
-my femininity
-my fendi socks
-my strength
-goals
-water
-coffee
-my hyaluronic lip booster
-my sunflowers
-ordering some lavender epsom bath salts for my mom
-mopping the kitchen hallway
-blankets
-ideas
-cuteness
-donating to the humane league the other day