In last night dream I met for the first time the man who abused me and my son...I told him that he have destroyed my son for all times...I was adult when this happened and I was therefore able to deal with this and process it but a child of 3 yrs is so deep down to his core destroyed...because he did not have any experience of life what so ever....the strange what happened when I am in his dream I am awoken by my sons cry...I at once started to cleanse him and his room...and this morning when he awoke he told me that he had a horrible dream....in the dream there was a man who told him that if he do not shoot himself he will do that...and he tried to call me but did not get hold on me....and this was the content about the abuse ..he told my son when he was 3 yrs old that he do not own his mother and that mother can vanish easy like that.....so this fear lives still strong in my son that I can vanish and he do not find me....how much I show my son that I will never leave him and I will always be there for him...he fails to trust me....so the man did succeed to plant this in my son and much more garbage...and it seams impossible to heal this trauma in my son....but I felt good to be able to tell him that he did destroy my son but I will continue to be there for my son as long as I live.