CF's dream diary

[Korpo]

Hello, CF.

I went to a place looking for employment. It was either an estate sale or an antigues shop. I asked to be allowed to clean old jewelry/metallic items to restore them. I did a whole chest of drawers in which there were many items/artifacts like that. I enjoyed the work and was soon done. I loved doing it, I asked for more work.

Job / employment - (life) purpose. The work you enjoy and are cut out for, in fact you are asking for permission to do it.

Here you restore (a sense of) value. There are many values to considered, many different categories (chest of drawers). You finish this part of your work - clearing up your values and ordering them. You are ready to move on.

This is a familiar house that I connect with my grandfather (his house, but not the one I knew in life) It's on the beach, which is an indication of familiar symbology for me. In there are my grandparents (younger) my mother (young) and my aunt (also younger than in life). She is telling me that she wants to be with a man that she used to date, who has left the room. She seems to be in her thirties (in reality she is in her seventies-eighties). After she moves on to another group of people (this is a party) my mother tells me that the man she was talking about was married, and an old friend of my grandfather's. She is disapproving of this. I then move on to other parts of the house.

The ocean might indeed be the mental plane, and the beach some kind of adjacent zone.

The age of the people might denote their soul age, not their age in body.

The fact that it is a party denotes it is not a sombre occasion, at least not from the viewpoint of souls. Maybe here the dead and the living mingle? The party as symbol for making and renewing contacts, having pleasant exchanges.

Your mother might still be judging the whole occasion from earthly standards and memories, they might not apply, though, if this is a meeting of souls. She might be still confusing soul-level connections and exchanges with sex, physical relationships and marriage.

Be well,
Oliver

[CFTraveler]

The fact that it is a party denotes it is not a sombre occasion, at least not from the viewpoint of souls.

I agree. The first party dream was when my mother told me she was 'going to go', and I was the only one there crying. This time the party was inside, but everyone but my aunt was dead. (That I know of).

[CFTraveler]

I seem to have revisited one version of a recurring theme. One of these days I'll have to put them side by side to see what they mean in reference to each other.

We are in a small box. This is our new apartment, on the beach. It is very small, carpeted and bare- there is no furniture. We have just moved in. The back of the apartment is open to the beach, and I sit inside with a hose, and I water the few beach grasses on the sand. I call it my "front lawn" sarcastically. Some people (neighbors) walk by and welcome us to the neighborhood. They are heavily armed, and are walking a dog. She has long red hair, the man I can barely remember. They want to invite us to go hunting with them. We declined, instead decided to walk on the beach and maybe take a swim.
As we walk towards the water, I see that the grains of sand get bigger and bigger, until they look like small quartz crystals, very worn (and quite beautiful). I realize I'm walking on glass prisms, which is what sand is magnified. As we move the sand around, we realize that under the sand is a metal floor. We go into the water, and as we swim some waves are coming, but they suck the 'sand' in and it is revealed that the 'beach' is a metal box with sand and water in it (a very large metal box, but metal nonetheless) and that it is not the 'real' beach.
We started walking down the beach, (looking to get out of there, knowing that if there were waves there had to be an opening to the outside) when we ran into the couple who had invited us to hunt with them. There was a huge dead bear, dark reddish-brown lying next to them. I think I had seen this bear before in the distance, not realized how big it was. It was easily the size of a car. As I got closer, I noticed there were two bear cubs (dead) lying next to it. Those people had killed a female mama bear and her cubs (or she was pregnant and the cubs were born as she died.) I got very angry all of a sudden at their disregard for this beautiful animal and her babies, how they just wasted them- and I wanted to rage at them- but then I woke up and I could still 'see' the bear in my mind's eye.

[Korpo]

I have an idea about the first part, but I cannot say whether it is convincing, you be the judge...

First there is you watering a few grasses which you sarcastically call your "front lawn." Sarcasm is an expression of dissatisfaction - you know this is not enough, insufficient. Grasses, plants, green is growth. You are dissatisfied with this place - you want more growth than the few measly grasses it has to offer.

Then you exercise a skill - magnification. This is one of the abilities of the astral body. You demonstrate how you are capable of spotting the most magnificient detail of sand.

This is the astral environment. You've mastered it. You demonstrate your skill. But you realise its limitations. You are quite literally "boxed-in." You feel constricted. You've outgrown this, there is little growth left for you here.

I've read about the beach/water metaphor demarking the border between astral and mental several times. You are willing to go for a swim. You want to go there, step over into the mental body. Kind of like Kurt said about a recent dream of yours - you're basically ready for making this step.

Now comes a thing of beauty - a symbolism that's really amazing. You deduce that since there are waves there must be a source, and that's the way out of there. Just jumble these words around a bit and it makes total sense:

There is a Source. You long to get closer to it, which would move you beyond your current confined situation. You feel its call from the mental plane like waves. The call of the Source is like ripples in the water, and you know that you can and want to follow this call to its origin. And the mental plane is indeed said to be a state of consciousness that is closer to Source!

No idea about the bears yet. But I think it is significant that you meet those people again just when you set a course of action that would have you led out of there. This might have to do with the reason why you're not stepping beyond the confines of the astral.

Be well,
Oliver

[CFTraveler]

Wow!!!
I am amazed.
Thank you for this, it cleared a bunch of things up, and it points me at the direction that I need to follow. Now, if I can figure out the bear metaphor, (I have a very rough idea) maybe I can do something with this.
Thank you again, Oliver.

[Beekeeper]

He did a good analysis for me today as well that I'd told him in passing simply because it was odd.

[Korpo]

Oliver

[Tutor]

the bear indicates 'cave' as in hibernation during winter. the cubs indicate spring, for they were born during hibernating winter, and in spring they arise from the cave.

the hunt's ends you could not avoid, was outside of your choice's domain.

the two cubs represent new life, doubly so, from an old life, singularly so.

sometimes a woman can feel as having lost herself in a life where , mother/child and wife/husband seem to exhaust her every essense of being. however, i would imagine that with your recent loss, that you with the baton in hand, inwardly sense your moment of being you, as yourself now upon the generational precipice.

understand though, that life is precious, that your's is the life, that there is no greater offerring in the world than that woman who is a mother, the daughter becoming what had been looked to as example.

these feelings will resolve themselves within, focus on what is, that it is not lost in the mis-focus of what is outside of one's control.

the cubs represent the two viable life giving relationships that through you are. your child and the husband/father of your child together. these are the newness, they taking on new sight from a forced maturation where loss or void is filling as you carrying the baton that arrived in its unwelcome way.

pretty much then, you are normally assuming another sense of maturity, unwelcome but unavoidable.

so, just as has been and is this choice uncontrollable, such is the consequences of the dream that despite your choice to avoid, faced you anyway.

you are fully capable of this moment's request.

maybe so....

[CFTraveler]

Last night (or early morning) after 4am two dreams and a voice.
My son woke us at 4am- he said he was having nightmares, but we think he was sleepwalking -things were tossed about the living room, and the cats had food in the bowl (the 'night crew' fed them). My husband went to his room with him and I fell asleep.
I was having a dream about a bird coming into my room. It was a large cockatoo, and it was walking around my bed. Then it transformed into a goblin-like creature, a lot like gollum, but not as ugly. It was grayish white, and naked. It was trying to attack me and I decided to try to talk myself out of the situation by asking it questions. (I wasn't lucid to know this was not normal, but lucid enough to know I was 'sort of' safe) so I started asking it lots of questions, not waiting for him to take over the conversation or get too close to me. At some point I diffused the fear and I woke up. Then the alarm went off (my husband's) so I got up and went to my son's room, and woke him up, and went back to my room. It took me a while to get back to sleep, as my hubby was making morning-grooming noises in the bathroom, and I finally fell asleep.
Now I'm in this square room which is a tank of sorts. There are fish swimming around me but I'm not in water. I'm confused. I remember previous dreams in which this has happened. I walk around them and verify they're floating in the air. Then I read a sign on one of the walls, that says that it's a special tank designed for fish to live in, but it's not water, it's a special air that is highly humid, enough for fish to get oxygen out of, and for people to not drown in- it explains that there are fans all around to help with navigation (because of gravity and currents). There are moments when either my grandmother is there, or someone else that is connected to her (not my mom) that is giving me some of this information.
Then some of the fishies start attaching to me (kissing gourami) and I don't like this. I'm afraid to pry them off because I'm afraid I'm going to hurt them (them being small, delicate and meaty) but the guy that invented the tank (and who showed up at some point) grabs them by the fins and yanks them off me, laughing at my reticence to hurt the fish even though I'm being harassed by them.
Then we move out of the tank, and he has some leechy-looking creature on the floor, by my feet, and he says something like "we like to approximate nature in this environment" and then takes this huge python who lunges at the leechlike thing and eats it/them. (He had said something about symbiosis, the fish did something for the snake so it did not attack them). When the snake opened up it's mouth to eat the thing, I was startled and woke up.
Then I laid there in bed with my eyes closed (the place was fascinating and retreating fast) and I heard a female voice that said "Tragedy in San Francisco" in a british-sounding voice. It was soft, sweet and melodic.
This woke me up more, and as I was starting to settle down to listen to more, my alarm went off and I had to get up.

[Korpo]

Hello, CF.

That's funny - you're dreaming of "fish(es) out of water!"

like a fish out of water
Completely unfamiliar with one's surroundings or activity

(http://www.thefreedictionary.com/fish)

Also interesting: You're in a simulation-like environment. These informations fit together - imagine you're learning about a new plane of existence. You're now learning the basics. You feel like a fish out of water - yet.

The basics - you see the "basics of survival" (snake eats leech), but you're also told that this environment only emulates nature. So the place does not necessarily function by these mechanics, but you're in a special environment.

The air that can be both breathed by fish and humans - you're in an area of acclimatization. You're also receiving artificial help for navigating this area (the fans). You're learning to exist within this new energy, get accustomed to it, learn some basic navigation along its energy streams - all in a controlled environment.

The fact that you recall other dreams and use this information to interpret the purpose of this environment (reading the sign) might show that you're making good use of this simulation.

The presence of your grandmother or the connection to her might indicate that this is some kind of preparation area for learning about the mental plane. Remember the "undead rollercoaster" dream? If your grandmother really moved on to the mental plane, this might be part of your motivation to make this step now.

The other dream with the goblin seems to be a fear about overcoming a fear reaction. You use your intuition that tells you that you can risk it and take charge of the situation. You then use your skill to defuse the fear till it's gone. I guess goblins and cobolds are kind of destined to represent negative emotions - especially fear and envy.

Little infomration nugget: This is also similar to the way Bilbo did it in "The Hobbit" - he delayed Gollum with a riddle game of questions till he could escape.

Be well,
Oliver