CF - That sounds right; awareness lights a new path. Thansk for that!

I don't think I have a problem with being attached to broad concepts like compassion or freedom, or avoidance of things like murder or marriage. If that brings karmic debt to be attached (or completely opposed) to certain things, I'm ok with that. My goal right now isn't to enter heaven, or lose myself to Nirvana, or to become one with Source. I want to finish what I started this life, and avoid the only two things that can permanently ruin or fade my life and the lives around me: dishonor, and marriage.

The only thing that bothers me is if karma will keep throwing me into situations where I get married life after life until I learn something I don't know that I'm supposed to be learning. That's the reason I keep asking for trials and tough times (though now I'll ask for lessons), because I want to finish the major spiritual training this life so I can free up the next ones for service, experience and fun.

I spent long enough, when I was younger, ignoring others' good advice on how to stop being depressed. I was content to wallow in my own laziness and self-pity, despite people telling me clear paths to get out of that bad situation. But now, if there's an unclean issue lying deep in my soul, I want me and my HS to work together to root out the problem and fix it ASAP. I'm through with being a scrub.

At the very least, if I can't get to the astral realm again and ask in person about how to set up an excellent next life, I can verbally ask to be tested again and again until I'm ready to take the next life with gusto.

Bee - That's a good lesson to learn. I think I've proved both my loving nature and my authenticity by choosing to marry my wife and care for her and my son, rather than running away like my father, or being abusive and neglectful like my mother. This, despite the fact that I had to sacrifice and give up everything that made me happy in the process. Though I am unhappy with the way my life turned out, I love my family deeply.

That said, though, I really don't want to come up on this situation again... and if that is interpreted as fear by the other side (and as a fear I/my HS wants to shed ourselves of), then again, I'd love to get the lesson learned this life to leave my future incarnations (future mes) free to pursue my unfinished goals.