Even after years of energy work my body is in parts very tense. I definitely can see long-term improvement when it comes to general flexibility, health and also parts of my body where I reduced the tenseness of the muscles and tissues. But the fact of the tenseness remains.
What frustrates me about it is that this also affects meditation attempts. Meditation on any body sensation basically triggers the tenseness to become very noticeable. I focus for example on the breath travelling down the center of my body. Or the expansion of my abdomen during breathing. All of it triggers the sensation, and more than the sensation.
The real trouble, actually, is that it not only triggers the sensation as something to be acknowledged, but it changes it, too. The muscles start in my right shoulder for example start to tense up and wind up in a knot, the sensation not only changes but the body moves and I also react with shudders and movements. In fact, the muscles and joints make crackling noises when tensing up and when unwinding. It's all more than a bit unnerving, a mixture of renewing irritation, also exhausting.
Going into it has proved this can go on and on, as if there were ever more layers to this. Just continueing to practice has not proved easy either. I'm unsure, actually, how to deal with this. Even the slightest turning inward of the attention, right at the beginning of the meditation, triggers the energy flows that then hit the blocks and cause all the associated phenomena.
Anyone else having similar effects?
Oliver
Bookmarks