Quote Originally Posted by CFTraveler View Post
if you had to return, it would mean there is no Oneness.
Yes. Exactly this.

As for the rest, so many questions. This is ego-self panicking, trying to reform itself, remake itself in some different image, so it can continue to exist. Ego-self's entire job is to be separate, distinct, unique. It makes up all kinds of things to maintain that. When it starts to see that is it not separat, not distinct, or maybe that it is nothing at all, it has to do whatever it can to continue to exist. It thrashes around, grasping for anything that might help. But if awakening is really going to happen, it will, and ego-self will not be able to maintain its view of itself as a distinct and separate thing any more than a person can remain sleeping when they've slept enough.

Eventually, it's possible to get to the point that there are no more questions, because it all just is what it is. Ego-self knows itself to be nothing, and, strangely, it continues to exist in some sense (more like a costume than a unique being, though). It's a bit of a paradox.