Dreaming90 - anxiety of the sort you are describing - especially with suicidal thoughts - is a serious condition. The intensity of your anxiety is likely extremely - physically uncomfortable. Alleviating it is an important quality of life issue.... you don't have to exist that way. Medications all by themselves are not the whole answer - I advocate for a variety of counseling approaches to address this problem. Its important to know anxiety and depression often co-occur.

Having said that, there is absolutely nothing wrong with meditation, energy work, and connecting with your higher self to help heal anxiety. Also exercise - meditation and exercise together release potent stress mediating and alleviating neurochemicals. Don't ignore nutrition either. Your body needs proteins to make amino acids and neurochemicals that are involved in mood regulation.

By the way - I don't know where you're from - you sound American - but having suicidal thoughts by themselves generally won't get you involuntarily committed in the USA. What you are going through is more common than most have reason to believe.

Please reach out for skilled support before it gets worse - best of luck and take care of yourself!