Trauma and mysticism

[CFTraveler]

Wow, good stuff.

I used to take great umbrage with my husband (this was decades ago, mind you) because he was so post-modern and so existentialist. Used to frustrate me to no end, beause I clung to my experience of "truth" and "value" and "morality" and all that sort of stuff. He hasn't pointed this out to me, of course, but it's kind of funny that my own experience of reality has gone past and through all of that and right into existentialism. I certainly never intended or planned it this way. It's just that as the layers fall apart, well, they fall apart... Ah, the bottomless rabbit hole....

I wonder if that's a product of age and experience- although I think I always tended to think that way, more or less.

[ButterflyWoman]

I wonder if that's a product of age and experience- although I think I always tended to think that way, more or less.

I have traditionally had big, big issus with things like safety, being safe, secure, etc. Structuring my reality so that there were all these rules and consistent patterns (even if they were patterns I didn't like) was weirdly comforting.

I'm sure it's partly age, and a bit experience. Mostly, I'm kinda too tired to spend a lot of energy maintaining patterns and structures in my reality if I don't need them or, more to the point, don't want them. There are aspects of previous created realities that I kind of miss, but maintaining them is too energetically expensive, so I just let it go.